Windhover, never be ashamed to post! I'm so sorry that your wife is having problems with fluid. It is very tricky to balance. I had a problem with low potassium in the beginning. I had one doctor take a look at my blood work and he wanted to send me to the ER for IV potassium! I told him I lived 10 min. away and would take potassium tablets when I got home! But yes, I know what you mean. It took some months of adjusting dosages until we finally hit upon something that works. I take 40 mg of Lasix and 100 of Aldactone daily. The Aldactone balances the potassium. Taking potassium tablets or capsules just didn't work for me. Sometimes I get foot cramps and then take a 10 mg potassium capsule. That solves the problem.
Is your wife seeing a hepatologist or a transplant team doctor? Those are the people who should be managing your wife's ascites and diuretics, etc.
You are at the beginning of a long jouney and it does take time to adjust things. Just know that most of us have been through this and are here for you.