On the other side of "no treatment"

Sandi, wow, that was a low pressure reading and temp!  No wonder he was overly tired...plus the pneumonia.  ITA with what you are doing.  Keep us posted.

Hugs,

Connie

((((Sandi)))),   hang in there.   Lot's of thoughts and prayers for both of you.  

Thanks for ur thoughts.... I was wrong b/p was 42/32... his potassium level is 6.2 his bp has recovered... but he was in renal failure.. he has urine output right now... I think what started this was he was on high blood pressure medicatioin... and I told him... he needed to not take it ... dr had mentioned this six months ago.. at some stage that the pressure would be lower... and with as finely tuned as Mike's system has been that put him over with the bp... but he has pneumonia... heart is stressing... and will fail if they can't get the potassium level down... he has confusion.. ammonia level 208... don'tknow how hi that is... but for now some levels have improved.. he is on a ventilator... but it's a mask type that assists... they were seconds from intubating him but didn't have to... so prayers for the day folks please... I'm sure I'm missing something... and Mike had chosen to not contact his family... and already a friend has jumped me about that saying it was the family's decision and I told him no.. it was Mike's... but thank G-d for the power of Attorney form and we had already registered it.. so there's no questioning anything.. thanks... for now Mike hanging on.. Sandi hanging on...

Mike died to day at 3 p.m. His kidneys failed... blood pressure crashed... along with the liver... and the ammonia level was high...and he wanted DNR.. so that's what we put in place... thanks for all the support here... I will write more details later... Funeral will be on Tuesday...

Mike is truly on the other side of no treatment now... thank G-d for this Forum... for helping me to prepare... and for keeping my mind off things while we were on this journey... somehow it helps to share in someone else's path... and somehow feel that your burden isn't quite as heavy... Mike and I had set up a Medical Directive and also I have Power of Attorney... both... I would suggest strongly to people to do both.. the Medical directive and a Power of Attorney... and make sure that if burial arrangements are not already made... that this is written down... this is especially for domestic partners.... the family has already started to push and shove for his belongings... well... Mike had no money... I bought everything we have... and this is harder than him dying... I hope it's ok that I talk about this stuff... I have no where else to turn... they were pushing to fly him to Utah when he specifically said he didn't want to go to Utah... he said he wanted to be buried here in Minnesota... anyways got that worked out.. I had to point out that this is what he wanted... and by law I have to follow that... and have an airtight will.... don't leave these things to other people... it's not fair... this wasn't right that his family had to hear this stuff from me... Mike had little contact for years... we have been together for six years... anyways... sorry for rambling... Sandi

i am so sorry for your loss but know he is still with you in your heart.

Sandi,  I too am sorry for your loss.   Yes sometimes dealing with the aftermath is worse than dealing with the loss.   So glad that you had everything already taken care of.  Family seems to come out of the woodwork after a death.  And all have an opinion.   One word of advice.......do not make any major decisions until you are able to think clearly and not with your emotions.  I made some.....which had I waited a while .......I definitely would not have made.  

My email is in my profile if you ever need to talk.......please don't hesitate .   It's now time to really take care of you.   

Lot's of thoughts and prayers......... 

 

Sandi, I truly agree about the Medical Directive and Power of Attorney, as well as a Living Will--and a regular Will is always a good thing.  People will fight over the strangest things after a death--meaning material things, but also what is best. 

Give yourself the same loving care you gave Mike.  That's what he would have wanted, I feel sure.

Hugs,

Connie

Sandi, I am glad that people are rallying 'round you.  And of course you can continue to write here...whenever you like.

Hugs,

Connie

Put pics together for video memorial... have a lot to do yet decided at last minute to have a reception at my tiny crackerbox of a house... but oh well...

Here's the poem I wrote for Mike five days before he died...

Imagine My Dear

When you close your eyes tonight

This is the time..

The place..

The end..

Imagine my dear...

Our moment..

Our time..

For all the laughter..

joy and happiness..

Thank you..

For all the love,

Unmeasured freely given

Thank you..

Pass now My dear..

Into the night..

Here's my hand..

There is God's

Imagine my dear..

From my hand to His..

Pass on my love..

Go with God

For Mike

 Sandi,  they are both such beautiful poems.  

Thoughts and prayers...........

Mike's video memorial is online now... and they did a beautiful job... the "family" of course did not help with any pics... and surprising God provided for that also... I brought all the things that were important to Mike.. Broncos hat collection... his Mexican flat ... sombreros... and all his native american stuff cuz he was a mix... and he had collections... to between the pics... they focused on these... and his eyes "twinkle" they really do in this video... thank God for Christmas.. I took some wonderful videos and pics with my daughter and him goofing around... and they cropped that pic... and used it... it's so well done... anyways.. still working on everything... I don't know if I can share the link... if I can I will but want to abide by the rules here... Sandi... and sometimes.. it overtakes me... but I have to keep my cool cuz I'm singing for the funeral... and want my act together... then I can fall apart...

my advice to all... say your good byes over a period of time even if you are not sick... because... we had five minutes... he didn't know... only I did... this was unexpected the way it happened.. thought we had a couple more months.. it was best the way it did... but we only had five minutes... he was rushed in with a crashed blood pressure.... and from the time they took the oxygen mask off which they thought would be fine... five minutes... prepare prepare prepare... and if you're not married.. settle things with family beforehand... not fair to the significant other.. write a will ... do power of attorney... and medical directive... and state what you want.. otherwise someone else will make a decision based on their belief system..

Sandi, I think it will be fine to post the link since you don't have a commercial interest and are not selling anything.

Glad it went well.

Hugs,

Connie