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Posted 12/18/2010 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
well after a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of soul searching and so much crying, we have made the decision to put my mom in a nursing home.. i feel so guilty, but i cant handle this anymore. and siblings do not have time.. i feel i am making the right decision, and its up to me since i am the poa. i feel guilty but im relieved. im not deserting her just getting her somewhere that she can get more than i can give..
Posted 12/18/2010 9:19 PM (GMT 0)
NC, please don't feel guilty.  You have been dealing with her illness for so long.  It's amazing that she has hung on for this period of time.  Caregiving is a very draining, mostly thankless job.  You are getting her the care that she needs and deserves, and for that I applaud you.

Big hugs,

Connie

Posted 12/18/2010 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
thanks connie. this was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do, but i know its for the best.. i dont know how she has hung on this long either, but this could go on for years and she needs more than i can give.
Posted 12/21/2010 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
checked out several places today..head spinning turn . got a few more to look at before making a decision. trying to get through the holidays...
Posted 12/21/2010 4:11 AM (GMT 0)

NC, I assumed you had already found a NH for her.  Is it going to be difficult to get her to go?  Good luck in your search.  Pay attention to cleanliness, whether the residents are just lying in bed or if they are up and in wheelchairs, have activities, etc.  Also how much staff there is.  Good luck!

Hugs,

Connie

Posted 12/21/2010 4:33 AM (GMT 0)
(NC), You have nothing to feel guilty for. You did more than most adult children would do for their parents. I know it was a hard decision to make. And that you didn't make it lightly.
Go at a meal time (preferably breakfast) and go in the evening after dinner. That will give you a good gage on how well they take care of their patients. You can also see the kind of food that they are giving their patients. Notice how the nursing staff talk to the patients. Do they talk down to them or not talk to them at all when they are giving them their meds? Once you find a place....introduce yourself to the administrator,nursing staff and any other employee that may have contact with your mom. Make them aware that you will play an active role in your mom's healthcare.

Good luck .........and take care.........
Posted 12/21/2010 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
working in an assisted living facility for quite a while in a small town gives me a little bit of an advantage... i hope. i aqlready know a lot of administrators at most of the homes.. its not going to  be a problem for her to go, she is not going to have a choice....

you guys are the best. i appreciate all your understanding and encouragement.

PG- I wish you were closer.. we could talk for hours.. turn

Connie- you are always there when i need to vent,cry or just whine.

Timeless- thanks.. you made me realize i matter too.

Posted 12/22/2010 9:03 PM (GMT 0)
Good for you... and glad you have connections so that you can make the best choice possible... my thoughts are with you... and Happy Holidays... Sandi
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