How can I live?

I know I might sound naive when I say this, but what is HCV?

How can someone get HCV? And I'm not talking about the way it can be transmitted. I'm speaking about HOW it happen?

And is their a stigma for HCV? Besides the phobia of getting infected, do people usually think ill of people with HCV? Then what's their ll thoughts about it?

As some of you probably know, I have HCV. But honestly, I did not really ask properly about it or understood it's complete nature. So when I searched in the internet, I was shocked that it mostly can be infected by needle/drugs and sex. And the thing is, I never pierced any needle in my skin beside the ones for my health issues like blood tests and such (I have Crohn's) and never had sex with any woman. So how did I get it? And it can't be because of blood transfusion because I was born in 1987. And my mother do not have HCV.

So how can someone get it? Can someone get without the methods I mentioned? I only knew about my sickness from my common Crhon's blood tests that I do from time to time. Even my doctors looked shocked.

The only way I can think about is through my medical operations, I had two. One was out of misdiagnose for my Crohn's illness (and badly done. Liquids starting coming from my operation scar) and then did the another this time for the Crohn's.

I'm not sure if it's me, but sometimes I don't feel comfortable with nosy nurses when they ask how I got it or when I mention my HCV to someone. It makes me feel so bad. I just hate it that sometimes I just think of saying whatever ill thoughts I have for them when they ask me. But then again I don't want to be hostile with them since I kinda depend on them for giving me the shots. And not to mention I'll be as rude as them. And don't ask why I don't do it in my home because it's too complex for me to make the shot.

I feel tired of worrying about peoples thoughts. I just want to live peaceful minded . I'm tired of my meds, from my pain of Cronh's and HCV. I feel my body weak and can't eat well. And the side effects of the Peginton is just bad. I'm tired of making my parents worry over me, And no one, not even the friends who I thought where real "friends" could understand what I 'm going throe. I feel like treated with shallowness. And worst of all, marriage. Will I ever find the right woman who would love me and love her back? Will I be a worthy spouse for here? Will she even accept me? I'm barley handling myself, I'm just fading away so how on earth can I even care for someone els? I feel so lonely that I so long for love. The only comfort I can find is that it's me and only me, not my parents, not my siblings. It's only me. The flu effect started to kick in. I feel tired as usual.

Sometimes I just wish death. I wish if I could just fell in my sleep and never wake up.

I swear, if I was not a believer of God, then probably I would not t know how I could have handled this.

I honestly not sure what to say. But first I like to thank you and I wish you the best as well. When you go throe a lot, can you honestly blame me? I assume you have illness as well so you must know what I mean. Don't worry, I would not call them suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to share them. And I appreciate your worry. Thank you.

I'm sorry for not arranging my thoughts very well. Try reading my question in this post instead:

Is it possible to get HCV without the typical methods? Or without inheriting it from my mother? I mean, is it possible to just "get it"? Like the Crohn's

What do people usually think about HCV? I just want to know and not be naive about it.

And this one for married couples, first of all I like to say I wish you the best and all the happiness in your life. And I would like to know how is your marriage life? How do you protect each other from infection, or to your children. I heard about taking a vaccines and such but that's all I know.


Thank you.

Post Edited (Mr.X) : 1/14/2011 3:40:25 AM (GMT-7)

"I feel tired of worrying about peoples thoughts." I don't care what other people think about my Hep C. I live in a small town and have written about my disease in our local newspaper for nearly 10 years. So far, I've yet to encounter anybody who has a problem with we, or my condition. I believe that being (beyond) up front has worked. I try to convince people to get tested for Hep C, explain the disease and show them that it's not the bubonic plague. I've spoken to Rotary and organized a Hep C support group. I think that trying to hide the disease is why some people think it's worse than it is.

arneeb said...
I can not speak to some of your questions.....my partner passed away in April....he had Hep c which I believe is what you r talking about he also had Esld...end stage liver disease among other disabilities.....there is a stigma with Hep c and esld...I have been told it is unlikely to be passed between two people...but possible...a doctor can go into further detail...also some of the other forum members can answer those....I was concerned about your dark thoughts.....there is information in the resource library also...the others should get with you later...take care Sandi

I know my words are not enough. But I'm so sorry for your partner.

I'm sorry for worrying you with my dark thoughts. I really did not want to upset anyone, but I just wanted to share the things that worry me. The "flu" efffect from Pegintron was kicking in and I just could not keep it inside me so I slipped it with my questions. Because as you said, I don't want to walk in a blind faith and ignore my worries.

What is your problem with giving yourself your shots?  It's not difficult.  I have no problem telling my health care professionals how I got hep C.  Soon after my diagnosis, when I told some nurse friends and a dentist, they treated it as something they might catch...and I felt the stigma of the disease, especially since I got it from IV drug use.  Most people are better educated now...at least medical professionals are.  As for others, if I know them well enough--and on this forum...I try to educate them.

Hep C has always been around.  It used to be known as non-A, non-B.  It's possible that you contracted it from surgeries, especially if you had a transfusion you may not have known about, or if there was unsterile technique.  I know of someone who likely contracted HCV by snorting cocaine.  It makes the nasal cavities raw and sometimes bleeding.  If you share straws with someone who has active hep C, you are likely to contract it.

A very small percentage of HCV patients have no idea how they contracted it.  Perhaps it's from something we do not yet know.  You could just tell people who ask that you don't know how you got it.  That's truthful.

There is a very tiny possibility of transmitting the disease through sexual contact  What you have to remember is that HCV is a blood-borne disease...not through bodily fluids like HIV.

I agree with Sandi that it might be a good idea for you to get some counseling.  You need someone to share your feelings with and get some good feedback.

Hugs,

Connie