gp advice

 hi all,

         hope you are all doing ok? spoke to hubbys g.p. on tuesday, she cannot get us an earlier appointment with the specialist so we have to wait untill august. g.p. is confused about hubbys blood results because some are off the scale, some are very low and others are borderline. she said she cannot offer any more advice as she does not know what is going on with hubby but she seems to think 45% of his liver is still functioning fine so cant understand why he has so many symptoms of esld.

her further advice was, to take him to the e.r. if he goes any more yellow than he is or if he appears to have gone into a coma. i had a bit of a hissy fit and she said there was no more they could do. great. love the N.H.S.

       so, we sit, we wait, and thats it.

i rang around some other hospitals to see if they could get him to see a specialist sooner but they have to have a local g.p. refferal so that was out.

detox is 6 month wait. if his bloods are still showing bad things happening to his liver, they wont consider him for detox because basically, it will be too late to save him anyway!.

well thats the news that isnt really news. hubby turning 39 on sunday and doctor thinks he should enjoy it because he will probably not see his 40th if he continues to drink. im inclined to believe her.

guess its all up to him now. stop drinking enough to get his detox in six months, or die of this horrid disease.

i also am inclined to think he will choose the latter. very sad. wish i could make his choice for him.

oh well, we shall wait and we shall see.

hope you are all having a good day. so sad to have heard about the terrible weather that hurt so many and killed so many others.

had the royal wedding here today, was beautifull.

best wishes to all of you here.xxnatasha.xx 

WOD, well that just stinks.  Having to wait that long for him to see a specialist is truly nuts.  If he stops drinking, then there wouldn't be a need for a detox.  Thanks goodness that I can make my own appointments over here and choose the doctors I want.  Even those that have insurance plans that require a referral from the G.P. (PCP here), do not have to wait THAT long.

I think PH has the right idea:  Get a power of attorney and use it to get your husband the care he needs.

Hugs,

Connie

Natasha, there are actually many people in the U.S. who are in favor of a national health system.  I'm not one of them, as I know how highly taxed those with NHS are, plus the long waits to get appropriate services.  I am fortunate to have Medicare, plus Medicaid as a secondary insurance.  My hepatologist told me today that Medicare would meet my financial part of the evaluation for transplant, as well as transplant.  Anything they don't cover, I can get help from Mayo's charity program.

As a long-time sober alcoholic, I do agree that your hubby couldn't be treated for mental problems while he is drinking, simply because the alcohol changes his thinking, emotions, etc.  He needs a clear head in order to be a participant in his care and to really understand what is going on.  I wish I could explain it better.  I do know it's true because my own problems/neuroses/self-esteem issues completely went away when I stopped drinking and got involved in AA.  Also, if he needs to be on medication, he could not safely take it while ingesting alcohol.

Maybe he will reach the point where he simply cannot keep alcohol down, and that will be the point where he starts a new life.

Hugs,

Connie

Jim, he may have DTs without a tranquilizer.  That is what is usually given in detox facilities.  In my case, I had switched from mixed drinks to wine to beer...and it was down to weekends when I finally quit.  Some people need detox just to be in a sober environment for a few weeks.  But trust me, there is no 30-day miracle.  I tapered off it and never needed a detox facility.  I did, however, go to AA to get an understanding of my reasons for drinking and for the Steps to stay quit.

Hugs,

Connie

G'maroses, unfortunately he has to want the help. And he has to do it for himself, not for her...or it won't work.

Rick, well said.

Hugs,
Connie

thank you for all your advice, again!. rick, many people have told me these things and i really truly admire you for pulling through this and coming out the other side. we seem to have hit numerous points over the years where i think, surely, this is the time where he cannot possibly want to go on drinking now? then hubby will seem to avoid hitting that bottom by about an inch and off we go again. this recent bout of illness scared him and he did start to really cut it down, then he will have a day where he feels better and the intake goes right back up. you are so right in what you said, he is resigned to dying of this now and sees giving up as a waste of time and does not want to face the pain that goes with giving up drinking. i will always secretly hope that he will stop but i think i know that untill he cannot pick up that bottle or hold his alcohol down he will just continue.
being this side of this and watching him do this to himself is the hardest thing i have ever had to watch. he does not understand (or doesnt want to) that this has an impact on his family, he says his drinking is his problem and his choice to carry on is only harming him!. i cannot now and never will understand this because my children are my entire world and if someone gave me the choice to live 2 years with my kids and an addiction or maybe 20 years with my kids and no addiction there just would be no other option for me than to kick my habit for my babies.
right now he is starting to feel much better again and so we must wait untill something happens that requires medical attention before we can truly find out what is happening to his body for sure.

the N.H.S. we have here is great when you have minor ailments and need short term medication or help, because its cheap and easy. unfortunatly, when anyone requires more care and has serious health problems it really is a hard long fight to get any help. this is increased when the illness is seen to be self inflicted as they see this as being.

you all keep your fighting spirit and keep ploughing on you are all so amazing in your fight. maybe one day hubby might just hit that floor and come up again in time to save his life. i shall wait and i shall see.
prayers and thoughts for you all. xxnatasha.xx

Natasha... it's an up and down swinging pendulum... and it's so hard to keep an even keel... and then sometimes one fools themselves into hoping... which is what I had done just before Mike died... I had fooled myself that we would get lucky... anyways.. u just hang in there girl... one step at a time.. were here for you... Sandi

Natasha, have a GREAT time out with your kids!  THEY need to get away from that toxic environment, too.

Hugs,

Connie

That's great, Natasha!  Perhaps you should do the same tomorrow. 

Hugs,

Connie

Mary, my heart hurts when I read your posts now....I try to imagine life without Louis and I can't. It just doesn't seem real.
But the sheer fact that you have stayed on here to help others is a true testament of your strength. Thank you for doing that!

Natasha, I feel for you....I'm somewhere between you and Mary, but I don't know where. I stopped trying to figure it out because it was exhausting! I have decided to live each day like it's the last one and what happens, happens. I too wish my husband would 100% stop, but he's not. Unlike you, I don't have little ones, mine are grown, but I do have a 2 yr old grandson and when I see them together it hurts because I know he's not going to be around to watch him grow up.
Again, his condition will dominate your life if you let it. You did good by spending time with your children. They deserve it and even though you don't realize it, you probably dedicate the majority of your time to your husband, one way or another.
You seem like a strong person too, so hang in there, I know you can handle it but just remember to find time for yourself.
Everyone here told me that and they were right. It IS what has helped me get through everything and keep my sanity at the same time!

WifeOf,

I noticed in a thread above you have mentioned how the NHS are firm with patients who still drink - and also going private options. I am posting this back in your thread tho.

It is very true im afraid. They simply seem to be dead set against helping people who drink still - and im not sure how they view people who used to drink either in honesty.

Gary Reinbach (I dont know if you heard his tragic story) was 22 when he was denied a transplant and he died. He was in a no win situation. He was too ill to leave hospital to prove he could stay sober - and yet to save his life - he had to leave hospital to stay sober for 6 months. If you google his name - you will read the press stories. His doctors tried to appeal to get the rules changed - but no avail.

Its the same in the US from what I read on here - but there, they have to endure 6 months of testing and also documented evidence like the AA aswell. Over here - I dont know what proof as such is required - I would like to know - but there are two issues.

1 Online - there is not sufficient information on the NHS sites in terms of exact requirements.
2 I fear it may be different depending on who you see!!!!! (speculation on my part).

I hope your guy stops - it can be done.

E

Its CRAZY - if he were on cocaine or heroin they would give him the earth to help him out I bet.
Its a discrace Wifeof - you are 100% right.

I dont know if this helps or not - but I went private for some blood testing for my Pancreas function at one point. I got my results in 1 hour and the cost was 75 pounds which I thought was reasonable beyond belief - even though Im skint.

They didnt charge me for the initial consultation (about 20 mins) because I went on to have a test as I remember.

To find out what is going on - maybe thats a route?

I truly feel your pain. My mom is in  liver and kidney failure... hasnt even been  a whole year since she has been sober...  its too late for her. dr says just a matter of time.... i will pray for you to have the strength to get through this if he doesnt stop drinking... she is almost 73. became  even more violent than she already was, and refused to quit drinking.... her sister enabled her when she couldnt get it herself anymore... i had to put my mom in a home to get her off the booze.. she is home again. not drinking.. waiting to die.... this has been a hard ,horrible road for me and my family to have traveled on with my mother.. i do not wish it upon anyone...