Chirosis and Colon Cancer

hi everyone! let me start by saying i know there are no "time frames" anyone could ever give, to include the doctors. I am writing for any and all information anyone could have. My MIL has cirrhosis, diagnosed about 6 years ago, she is from what i can tell showing signs of ESLD.... jaundice, ascites, spider angioma, diabetes (that she doesn't manage), itching, difficulty breathing at times. she has also been diagnosed with 2 large masses in her colon, they require surgery and a colostomy. she however also has fecal incontinence 9over 3 years) and her blood is so bad that they have recently sent her home from the hospital to work on getting that better so they can do surgery. a surgery that she doesn't want and one that i am not sure she will survive due to risks to her body. her albumin levels are low/off. IF she has the surgery, im not sure she would take care of the bag anyway. she is up and down with her moods, at some points she is euphoric and then she is melancholy/stoic. this is very difficult, and i realize we are NOT the only family dealing with this kind of a situation. as i've read on the internet that everyone is different and the way they treat themselves and their own personal will to live can make the difference in their healing process. i feel that my MIL has no more will to live. she begrudgingly agreed to let a nurse come to the house 2x's a week for the next 2 weeks to monitor her blood to ready her for surgery, imo i feel IF she opens the door the 1st day for the nurse she will surely kick her out of her house or tell her that her services are no longer needed. does anyone know how risky the surgery is-in particular for someone with all these issues/one that can't even get her blood up to par for surgery? anyone ever dealt with a similar person with similar circumstances? what happened? we live out of state from her and it is hard listening to what is happening or lack of what is being done. i say that meaning if SHE would be honest once in her life and say she doesn't want surgery maybe my SIL (closest relative & she lives 1 1/2 hours away from mom) could call on palliative care. we are willing to help as much as we can, but we can't be there everyday, every meal, every medication time...not one of us can. it really falls on my MIL and we don't think she will take care of herself, as she hasn't all her life. we are all so concerned, scared and sad at this moment. any and all advice or new avenues to look into are extremely appreciated. thank you all for your help....

hi emma! thank you...that probably would be helpful information lol.....she is 69 y/o and her cirrhosis is due to her alcoholism. i will pass on the INR test to my SIL as she is the closest to possibly have a chance to speak with the surgeon.

Hi, WW13, and welcome to the forum. How old is your MIL? Is she bipolar? That's what the mood swings sound like to me, but I'm not a doctor.

If her blood work becomes okay for surgery, perhaps she could be released to a NH afterwards. I've had to do this twice, as I had nobody at home to stay with me. I got PT twice a day, 6 days a week, and it helped tremendously with gaining strength. The nurses there could also help her with the ostomy bag.

Of course, her will to live and take care of herself in the best possible way, is a huge factor. If she isn't willing to fight, then there's no point to undergoing surgery. In which case, as you mentioned, palliative surgery would be the best solution.

Hugs,
Connie

Thank you all for your replies!

She is 69 years old and yes she's still drinking. I didn't even think of some of the terrific suggestions and questions that you all gave me to ask or have my SIL ask her doctor.

This is just a very sad, confusing and hard time right now.......thank you <3

thank you Connie...i will defiantly put that on the list for when i speak with my SIL later tonight...

Dear Worried1313
Welcome, so sorry to hear your MIL has ESLD. Please join our forum thread for caregivers, as you will probably experience lots of emotions, ups and downs and sometimes the need to "just vent to someone", or ask questions. We care about you and what your MIL is going through.
Angie1953