My mother was diagnosed with Hep C in 2007 and found that she had been infected for 23 years due to a blood transfusion. As we all know or may not know, the signs are silent and slowly killing the body. During the 23 rampant run of the virus, after that initial finding of Hep C, my mother has been diagnosed with Liver cancer and which has now taken over 80% of the liver and the portal vein. No fixing anything there. She has also had numerous paracentisis procedures, which one left her 33 pounds lighter.
No amount of medicine helps. They all seem to do some type of damage and one works too 'well' and leaves her hospitalized. The spiro makes her sodium levels dangerously low, the lactulose and the new pill (just started in Janauary, which is the solid form of Lactulose), leaves her weak from the excessive amount of diarrhea. The cancer medicine, which doesnt cure anything but slows down the progression and spread of cancer, makes her tired and red hands and feet.
She is at the point of encephaly episodes which she slurs her words and makes no sense and has terrible control over her movements. The onset of coma has came and went a few times with hospitalization to bring ammonia levels bad down.
She told me today, if she could go to sleep and not wake up - she would be fine with that. Her body and mind are tired. Her struggles are coming to an end. She has given up. And for the strength to fight this long and hard and to admit that to herself, I honor her. She deserves to have one day more of gardening, laughing, singing.. doing whatever she wants to without embarrasing moments of changing her Depends because she's to slow to get to a bathroom.
This of course makes me sad, and I knew this year was the last birthday I would be sharing with my mother. 70 years is to young and her life has to mean more than these last few weeks have given her.
I just wanted to share this with everyone thats not sure of how to deal with the end stages..... Its the end times that we must give them dignity and just hold their hand and revel in the life they have given us and lived for themselves and everyone around them. I love my mother and never know if she will wake up tomorrow or if today is the last day to hear her beautiful voice, but she is tired....