Caregivers Sharing thread #12

   No calf yet.  I can't believe it, the poor cow is so so big.

Marie,

  So sorry that you are having a bad day and calling hospice in.  I really dread that day, too.  Wish there was a way to make it easier for them and us.  I know the feeling that you don't want them to suffer, but you know the suffering will then really start for you once they are gone.

   So sorry that you are going through this.  There are days that I just don't want my hubby suffering and wish it was all over and then feel so guilty for that.  To put it out of my mind, I have been helping start a garden at the nursing home and had 8 residents for the planting.  (I know the garden is started late, but many stores donated the last of their veggies, dirt, etc.)    Somehow it helps to divert my thoughts from hubby and my's bleak future.

Connie..We are all surprised my Mom fell for this scam, she is always watching America's Most Wanted, and all the crime shows.  Don't know why she did this she is usually so careful.  It's a mystery.  Hope you are feeling more chipper.

Angie1953

Marie52,
So sorry about your chickens. I know how it feels when you feel so stressed and you lose animals because of an oversight. Sucks. So sorry to hear Craig is so bad off. That is so hard on you..and him.

All:

Visited my hubby this morning and he doesn't recall his daughter..and he is worried I am trying to "hook up" with another of the nursing home residents. ??? WTHell He must have HE bad, last thing I need is another sick person.

My calf was born..had to call the vet to pull him, he was BIG !! BUT....he can't walk or stand, his front ankles fold the wrong way from being cramped in the Cow. So I have to milk her and bottle feed him every 4 hours. He is about 70 pounds so I can't hold him up to nurse. Vet says the feet should eventually straighten out....When?

I have been doing chores til midnight and calf is 15 miles away and I have to drive it every 4 hours...besides feeding horses and going to nursing home. I keep thinking maybe I should just have him slaughtered now...I don't think I can possibly do all this myself.

Mariel52:


I read about you giving Craig a bath..God I do recall how exhausting that is. Feel for you. That is a good thing about the nursing home...they do all that. I just couldn't keep doing it...I got too exhausted after only 10 months of him at home. Kudos to you, hang in there. Am thinking of you. Try not to be rough on yourself...you are doing the best you can under a gruelling situation.
Angie1953

Connie,
Well, I had a good laugh just now after reading your post and rereading mine. The slaughtering referred to the baby calf..But calf is doing better today..almost walking...on tiptoes like a ballet dancer (front two feet).

I will check on nursing home and see if hubby is having regular BMs. Does sound like he is HE loopy. Sometimes I just forget and think,,,,well, he's nuts today.

Hope you are feeling better. So nice to read your posts knowing you have been through a transplant and on the way to better health. And seems like you can do so much!! My hubby can barely find the dining room in the nursing home, eventhough he's been there 6 months. :(

I'm tired...hitting the bed to get in my beauty sleep...haha.
Angie1953

Hey everyone,

I am still here, reading posts when I can.  I am trying to put all my efforts into catching up at work.  With my mom's passing and well, just life...I feel out of control with everything.  So, I have decided that I would concentrate on work right now.

Dougie has his 6 month GI appt tomorrow.  Then will come the labs and ultrasound.  I am concerned, expecially given that he has not been alcohol free for the last 6 months, but I am not the usual nervous nellie that I can be.  I am trying to learn the steps from Al Anon.  I cannot control what his appt or lab/test results are.  I have to turn that over to God.

Otherwise, things are good.  Dougie has been well.  I have been trying to walk for at least 30 minutes every day.  My dad is doing okay...he is even learning to iron his own clothes!  My mom use to do all that...even his undershirts!  Brother's business is still failing and he will most likely have to file bankruptcy, but given all that we have been through with our mom, it doesn't seem as important as it did just a few months ago.  Sons are in good places.  Things just feeling kinda peaceful --- for the moment.  I am thankful for that.  Trying to let the future take care of itself, and not to worry until there is something to worry about.  Hah!  At least that's where my head is at this afternoon!

I hope that everyone is finding a quiet corner where they can enjoy a few peaceful moments.  I pray for all of you...health, peace, healing.

Emma

 

Emma, thanks for the lovely update. After being scattered in so many directions, it's good that you are focusing on work.

Marie, I know it must be tough. Try to "detach with love." In other words, don't take what he says or does personally or get caught up in his drama. Do you know that bone cancer is the most painful cancer one can have? I'm glad Hospice in involved, as they are really good at managing pain. My grandson died at 24 of bone cancer that metastasized. He had it at 16 and had his leg amputated up to the hip. He did well for 8 yrs., graduating from both an honors H.S. and a university. It was shortly after his college graduation that the cancer came back, metastasized to his lungs and other organs. He was tired of the pain and treatments...was okay with dying at that point.

When I had bilateral hip replacements, I thought that pain was really bad. But transplant and leg ulcer were worse.

Did you get the riser that goes on the toilet or the "over the toilet" one with arms? I have the one with arms, which has been really useful in being able to get up from a sitting position after surgeries.

Wouldn't radiation be considered treatment? Once a patient is under hospice care, there is not supposed to be any form of treatment except pain management.

Please keep us updated.

Hugs,
Connie

Mariel52
Thinking of you today and wondering how it's going?

Wednesday I went to B&B to see hubby at about 8:00AM, as I try to have coffee with hime at breakfast. He was in bed, clammy, kept trying to open his eyes saying what is wrong with me? He could only stay awake a few minutes. His feet were swelled and everyone at the nursing home was busy with breakfast for the residents, so i packed him up and drove him home. He slept and slept and slept. I kept waking him for water, meds and a bit of food.

Put on come documentary movies that he likes, and just watched over him. I kept thinking, maybe this is IT. At least he will be home. Kitties slept with him on the couch and dog at his feet. I cut up some fruit, cheese, etc and when he was awake would get a few bites down him...and water. He didn't hurt anywhere he said, just so so tired. Well after two days of this, he started to feel a little better and was awake a bit longer each time he woke up., up to 1/2 hour at a time.

Last night I took him back to B & B and this morning they called me at 6:00 AM saying that he was in so much pain he was throwing up, so I went and he was really in pain. The Dr. regular visit was today at 12:00, so I left at 10:00 to pick my cow up from the vet, returned at 12:00 and Dr. had been there, seen him and left. :( Staff knew I wanted to be there...and have my cell number. They said they would call the dr. and tell him I wanted to talk to him...of course, I haven't heard from him. This is really frustrating.)

According to NH staff, Dr. thinks maybe he was passing a kidney stone. Hubby has no recollection of what the Dr. said. One of the nurse's think hubby may have eaten a Fentanyl patch on Wed.,,,,as there was one they couldn't find that should have been on his back. Don't know if he would have eaten one, but did seem so so groggy. One of the aids had put a big piece of tape over the latest patch and RN says that this a BIG no no and perhaps that is what caused the grogginess. IT IS A MYSTERY, I GUESS.

So my cow is back after 4 days at the vet. Poor girl, the birth was really hard on her. She is so glad to be home. Tonight I will put her calf with her...even though she doesn't have any milk for it. He can't stand and nurse anyway...his ankles give out. Man, what a rough week...And today's my birthday. Actually, I just want to sit at home alone and have no drama to deal with for an afternoon. (Oh yea, stepped outside at 6:00 AM to go to B & B and a big snake was right at my doorway.) That got my heart going first thing in the morning. !!

Am thinking of all of you struggling with this horrible disease and hope you have a restful afternoon. There is smoke in the air here from the HUGE wildfires in Colorado...every once and a while, we get a whiff of it. So sorry for all those folks and critters.
Angie1953

Have some cheese with that whine! LOL glad you are feeling better Angie, sometimes the roller coaster ride is just a little too much.

Happy birthday! I will be thinking of you and the animals this evening. Hope your baby gets stronger and mom recovers.

Peace,

Marie

Thanks for the birthday wishes. My birthday did calm down and got better. Had a nice time last evening with hubby and my Mom at the nusring home's family BBQ for the 4th. The nursing home garden is doing good and it is a nice place now for the residents to sit and watch plants. NH also now put up bird feeders and bought outdoor furniture for the residents and their families, since we put in a garden.

Hubby is doing better now that the extra painkiller has gotten out of his system. He was in his element at the party...entertaining..the best he can. And he tries to help the other residents...as much as the staff will let him. Reminds me of the reasons I fell in love with him...he has such a kind heart. (tears). OK..time to change the subject.

Calf is starting to walk finally, and mother cow is recovering, but she does not like her son. He wants to be with her, but she is NOT interested. Maybe later after she is feeling better.
Angie1953

I'm glad to hear that things calmed down. Are you bottle-feeding the calf?

Hugs,
Connie

Yes, Connie,
I am bottle feeding the calf. He only drinks about 1/2 of what regular calf drinks, as he seldom gets up and walks, so doesn't expend much energy. He does try though. He seems healthy otherwise, but weather has been so HOT for the animals...over 100 every day for a week and no rain.

One of the local art club members brought a framed photo by today for my birthday of me driving my little elder mini horse in the Fair in 2009. It is such a good photo. What a wonderful gift !!

Natasha, I am thinking about you this last week and wonder how you and the boys are doing. Things getting better? Hope to hear from you.

Emma,,thanks for the birthday hug. Hope things are peaceful there.
Angie1953

Untwisted
Maybe start your own thread.



Copy and paste this news IN and call it HARRY GOT THE CALL or something about TRANSPLANT.



Others waiting for the call will want to know the news and how it goes. Even the details. Not every surgery goes 100%. The fact that you mention that he smells good is like my observation that Mike was PINK not yellow any more. Some days he looks plenty pale, but NOT that sick color and he definitely does not SMELL bad any more...I tossed his pillows...yuk.\



I'm sure some folks will want to wish you the best and may miss this at the bottom of another thread.

And from me...a BIG HUG and BEST WISHES for you both...for his return to better health and to you...to be blessed with some of his amnesia...he may forget how awful this wait has been...which is good for him...but you will remember every difficult day! (sorry)



Mike was very emotional at first, cried all the time...about how thankful he was, about how sad he was that his donor lost his own chance at a life and how brave the family was to sign the paperwork, and about how he could never have gone through this without me at his side. Yup, cried like a baby almost daily until they backed him off the prednisone! Then it got more normal. Not grouchy anymore...thank the Lord.



Hugs,

Carol

Post Edited By Moderator (hep93) : 7/8/2012 7:14:37 AM (GMT-6)

I'm swapping out my Moderator's Hat tonight and posting as a caregiver!

Mike waited 3 years to have his sore sholder fixed.

When they finally got the MRI done and the doc got in there, they did 4 repairs at once:

1. His biceps was torn away from the bone....that is now rebolted.

2. The tendon at the top of the shoulder was 75% torn away from the bone, also rebolted (screwed, I exaggerate)

3. and 4.  The rotator cuff had 2 separate deep tears that needed to be sown.

And they cleaned up the scar tissue from the failed repair in 2009.

He looks a mess tonight and his arm will be in an odd position, held in place with a brace and sling for 6 weeks.

Poor guy.

But after this, he is certain he will be much much better...post transplant and now fixed...

But I'm back in my caregiver uniform and ready for him to be Mr. Grumy Pants (again) for a while.

The poor guy can't dress too easily and with all those  IV's and the brace it was quite a show trying to get him to the toilet...poor guy.

No driving for 6 weeks.  He has to sleep in the brace and sling -- ON his back every minute. 

Well, I'll keep you posted.

He told me tonight the transplant was easier...and this before the nerve block wore off! 

That 2 hour drive home is going to be tough on him. Maybe they can give him one extra morphine dose before we get in the car!

Hope everyone is going to have a better weekend that Mike is.

Hugs,

Just plain Carol, Caregiver