Don't know if this would work for you, but I add fruit and veggies to the shake (smoothie). Added an avocado one time, spinach one time, etc. BUT...have to do it so hubby can't see it. If he watches me put these things in, he has a FIT.
If it isn't sweet enough, I add sugar free syrup. Also put Boost in smoothie...again he can't see me do it. He wants to tell me what NOT to put in it or what to PUT in it. Control issue, I think. (Sounds like your hubby may also have some control issues.) So I always do it when he's not looking.
Feel for you about the HE. That blank stare makes me crazy....I can be talking straight on to him, he'll be looking right at me and say, WHAT. Or hears me but has no idea of what I said. Aaaaaagh!!
My hubby is a lot more clear thinking once I took him off the anti-depressants. Dr. says they acted the opposite way of what they were meant to do.
Hope things change for the better soon for you both.
Angie1953