sbdancer,
You don't know if it's the end. That's the short answer. It is what I and many others have also struggled with. The Doc and Hospice can only give you an educated guess.
My husband has been dying from ESLD for over 2 years now. Hospice was just called in and they said he's not "actively dieing" but to be eligible for Hospice Dr has to be able to say "wouldn't be surprised if he died in next 6 months."
You can't know when, dr can't know when nor hospice. Hospice can usually tell if she's hours from death, but our hospice has told me people get discharged from hospice and some live a long time more.
This is really a hard hard thing...but like Connie said, go ahead and get everything in order...then get on with life, because you really don't know when the end will arrive. I feel stupid that I have "waited" around for 2 years trying to make "the end" the best for my husband, when I should have been more concerned about living a joy filled life.
I, like you, wish we knew, but......
I am sorry you are going through this, it is very very difficult. Thinking of you on this shared journey.
Angie1953