Caregivers Sharing, Part 18

Bump for newbies.

Hi all,
Again its been awhile since I have been here. Finally had my long awaited colonscopy done.
After all that scare about me having a blockage,all I had was 2 polyps.

But and there is always a but,I ended up in the hospital 2 days later with acute Diverticulitis,and let me tell you,it was terrible ! Just got back home yesterday,while in the hospital I also got a UTI,got that gone,and got up this morning with another one! The meds they have me on are killing all of the good bacteria,so now they have added another antibotic,plus a probotic.

This had been so crazy.I am going to see a Surgeon in 2 weeks to see about a bowel reconstruction,as I am on my 4th time of having Diverticulitis since April!

Did I mention that while I was in the hospital they tested me for MRSA and it came back positive? Its in my nose they said,but it can read its ugly head at anytime,not that I have enough on my plate !

And I should also add this,,the first night that I was in the hospital and was so sick,couldn't get my BP up and heart rate,(was only in the 40's for 3 days) Mark called a cab and went to the casino,got drunk and spent all of our money !!!!!! I am so darn mad at him,I guess while I was fighting to live,he once again tried to kill himself sooner,no longer will I pray for a liver transplant for him,he will never stop drinking,and he proved to me that by doing this when I was so sick he only cares about himself,or should I say he doesn't care about himself?

End of rant.I truly hope you are doing much better then me,but if you have just a timy spare moment,say a prayer for me to get better..I want to live !

Robin

Robin

Ditto what Angie said. How upsetting especially when you're going through your own issues :(
Bad enough he continues to destroy his body to the point where he can't qualify for TP, but to take the household money and flush it down the drain is unforgivable. You must take care of you right now.

Next I would sit him down and give him an ultimatum. But that's just me who doesn't have much patience for folks who bring it on themselves. And to take the money at a time where you need every penny you can get your hands on!

I would march down to the bank, take all the money out of your joint account, open up a new one in your name only, AFTER you get a PO box or use a friends address if easier to get your bank card, statements etc. Then tell him "I'm in charge of the money now Bucko, if you don't like it, there's the door!"

I'm so sorry you're getting hit with all these awful medical issues. Sure hope they resolve soon.

Remember he can't be trusted for a moment, don't let your guard down. And yes I sure hope he gets his act together before its too late. Sometimes it's just out of your hands, like with my own younger brother, not Richard.

Hope next week is far more peaceful.
Hugs

So true David.

And bad enough he's destroying himself, now he's making life even more miserable for Robin. Hope she takes a stand and stays strong.

Well by virtue of posting here, one assumes that suggestions and or advice are solicited and will be forthcoming. So I feel somewhat justified in my own suggestion, such as it is.


Isn't that why we are here, to give/receive a variety of opinions, support/advice?

Thank you all,you are some of the nicest people I have ever talked to in a support group!

For fathers day,I had bought Mark a new flat screen TV,well,,TG I still had the receipt cause I took it back and got my money back on it ! He is not to happy about it,but I didn't do it he did ! And I did put the money in my own private account.I hate playing this way,but if he wants to be selfish,then I need to be too !

All comments are welcome,at this point nothing anyone says,I haven't already thought or said myself.

I actually told him to get out that I cant do this anymore,and he says he cant promise me that it wont happen again(the drinking part) I am just tired of trying to help someone who just keeps misusing them-self
!

Well Robin, it sounds like Mark has told you he will not commit to sobriety. That stinks. He makes a choice to drink, and you have been given fair warning. Basically...what are you going to do with this information?

Since you clarified you are open to suggestions, I would agree Mae gave a very solid suggestion and pretty close to what my unspoken thoughts were.

I strongly suggest you protect yourself (mentally and physically), and your assets, knowing he has stated he can not be trusted. He plans to drink again... and ball is in your court given that info. This is heartbreaking for you whether you stay, or leave. Tough enough caregiving and being ill yourself.

My gut says you have been doing this dance a long, long time.

Again, take care of you. Hugs, themiz

Bumping for new members.

Arlene,

I just had to say after reading your post to Liz (who is struggling with alcoholism) while you're still going through your own problems says a lot about you. Maybe helping other troubled souls is cathartic for you and will help you with your depression? Stranger things have happened :)

Hugs,
Mae