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Posted 9/11/2013 6:02 AM (GMT 0)
I haven't posted in awhile as my dad seemed to be doing okay under his circumstances, but it seems things have taken a turn for the worse.
My dad has end stage alcoholic cirrhosis and basically is not putting up a fight. He never tells me or my mom anything. Every time he sees the doctor, he says everything is fine, which it so clearly is not.
My husband and I live in LA and my parents live about 5 hours away, and when we went to see them for Labor day, I was shocked by how thin my dad is. He has been wasting away for the last year, but he seems to have lost 20 pounds in a month! His eyes are sunken in, but he keeps on drinking. My dad finally admitted to my husband that his liver can't be "fixed" and that he needs a new one. My husband tried to talk to him, tell him that I was worried and that I wanted him to be around to see our children, but my dad said he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
My dad has been on water pills for a couple of years and that's the only treatment he's received (or I should probably say the only treatment he's accepted).
My poor mom doesn't know what to do. He won't let anyone go to the dr with him, he's so hardheaded.
Today, my mom said that he woke up yelling because he had pain in his ribs. He said he thinks he pulled something or broke a rib. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with his liver failing, but he always has an alternative explanation for his symptoms. Has anyone experienced this "rib pain?" And is it, as I believe, something to do with his liver?
Thanks for listening.
Posted 9/11/2013 12:41 PM (GMT 0)
 Hello and welcome Ava. His rib pain is not likely related to a liver issue. Is your dad still drinking? Is he seeing a Hepatologist? How old is he? I myself was diagnosed with End Stage liver disease around 4 years ago. I'm a alcoholic and been sober since the day after I was told I had Cirrhosis. I was initially told I wouldn't live beyond three months. Honestly things got very unpleasant for me over the course of the first year and I suffered heavily from muscle wasting. I went from my normal weight of 230 lbs rapidly to 150 lbs. and most of the 150 was fluid I was retaining. Aches pain and constantly feeling cold became the norm.

 The fluid issues got so bad it couldn't be controlled by medications and I eventually had a TIPS surgery done about halfway through the second year after diagnosis. At that point I was getting paracentesis done every 2-3 days and looked like a pregnant skeleton. During the first year I was required to seek alcohol abuse counseling and random blood test for indications I had returned to drinking again. There is no way you'll get a transplant if your still drinking. You mention your dad is stubborn, That can work in his favor should he decide to fight this. It's a hard battle to win and that stubbornness is probably what kept me going.

 I'm back to my old weight today and enjoy a lot of the same activities I used to before my diagnosis. Something your dad needs to understand is that once he goes through this his life will improve dramatically. It's hard to see that now. I wish there was some way we could snap people into reality but that is largely the decision of the individual. Your dad will have to ultimately make the decision to fight or die and there's not a lot you can do but hope and pray for the best. There are a few suggestions we can make and also lend you some much needed support, We have several other members who are wives and family to a alcoholic liver disease loved one. My best to you and your family.

Ziff 

Posted 9/11/2013 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
Ava,

Ziff said it all...it's ultimately dad's decision. I would only add that, should he wait too long to commence the 6 month sobriety mandate, he could run out of time. Most all transplant centers have that requirement so time is of the essence.

He should know, and your family too, that he WILL die a miserable, painful death if he chooses drink over life. He should also be glad to know that folks with alcoholic-related liver disease, as opposed to Hep C, do MUCH better after transplant and many go on to live full lives.

I hope he chooses life before it is too late.

All the best,
Posted 9/11/2013 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
Ava,

Your Dad is in trouble. Not everyone who drinks alcoholically gets cirrhosis. But those who get sick from drinking get very sick.

As Ziff points out, you can beat this...for a while...but liver disease can be fatal without transplant. It depends on how bad it gets before the person quits...or IF the person quits.

The symptoms are terrible and for our family the ammonia problems with hepatic encephalopathy were the worse...he was grumpy, out of mind confused, and down right mean! That was hard for all of us.

His swollen legs wept fluid, his kidneys started to fail, he peed brown urine and had diarrhea all the time. He had debilitating leg cramps, slept all the time, had the dry heaves, was freezing cold on the warmest days. And did I mention grumpy.

Thank goodness he saw the light and quit cold in September of 2010. He has been sober 3 years now and though he had been ill, they have been great years. I wish he had quit sooner.

But he had this attitude that he was going to die "happy." Some happy!!!!! NOT. Once he decided to live, it was not that hard to quit for him. He went to AA 3-5 times a week, had an ethanol blood test weekly and got a transplant after the waiting period.

He still has problems because he also has Hep C that has not been successfully treated. We are hoping maybe this fall he can start a program.

My guy isn't a bad man. He was a drinker from a large Irish family where that was the norm, not a bad thing. Well, it almost killed him.

I am thankful to the AA program.

Hugs,

Mama Lama
Posted 9/11/2013 8:38 PM (GMT 0)
Ava, I remember you. It is IMPERATIVE that your dad stop drinking TODAY!!! He MUST go to AA tomorrow!!. MAKE up a form for him listing meeting, date, time, and chairperson, along with type of meeting. He may be belligerent, but he MUST go. This will be the documentation required for him to show his transplant team. He will most likely need a liver transplant. Stop letting him run the show, if you want him to live.

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 9/12/2013 8:52 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond.

I forgot to add that my husband told my dad that if he needs a new liver, we will all help him in any way we can. My dad's response was, "let some other poor guy get it."

I have read a lot about dying from cirrhosis and I know my dad has NO idea what it entails. He is 67 and has been an alcoholic 30+ years.

My parents will be coming to visit us on Sunday since both of them see docs down here. My dad has an appointment with his VA doc on Monday, who I'm pretty sure is not a hepatologist. But if he had been referred to one, I'm sure he decided against it. I've told him that I want to go to the doc with him and he says that what's between him and his doc is no one's business, but I think I am going to insist. I'll follow him if I have to, throw a tantrum, cry, anything to find out what is going on.

Thanks for the support as this is SO frustrating and heartbreaking to watch. I will post again soon with an update.
Posted 9/12/2013 9:52 AM (GMT 0)
Ava, Do talk to him about this and see if you can talk sense into him. I'm sure it's hard on you and the family seeing him like this. I fear with his current attitude, you're going to be facing an uphill battle. A shame cause it really doesn't have to be this way. The problem with most alcoholics is that they use the alcohol to mask the pain, fear and underlying psychological issues that life normally throws at each of us daily. You essentially use the drug of choice to avoid caring anymore eventually.

Facing your demons and fighting a death sentence makes for poor bed fellows. It's easier (or so it's thought) to die than deal with emotional and physical pain. Problem is he knows nothing else but the alcohol and it never failed him, Why try something different. As my friends mentioned, he MUST get into some form of sobriety program now. He will deteriorate to a point where he will not likely function in the near future, further making it impossible to seek treatment. Please keep us informed on how your visit with your folks went and the best of luck to you.
Ziff

Post Edited By Moderator (hep93) : 9/12/2013 1:04:41 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/12/2013 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Ava,
I'm so glad you checked back in with the group! It is discouraging to see that your dad is not getting any better. I don't know if there is any more to be added to what has already been written. However, I just want you to know that I am praying that you and your husband will be granted wisdom and insight as you try to talk with your dad this weekend.


{{HUGS}}
Shama
Posted 9/12/2013 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
Shama, I noticed that you are a new member. Do you or a family member have liver disease? If so, please start your own thread and explain your situation to us. (Click on New Topic instead of Reply and give it a subject.)

Hugs,
Connie
Posted 9/13/2013 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys. I really hope I can get through to him this weekend! I will let everyone know how it goes. Praying that he just simply listens.
Posted 9/19/2013 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
Ava,
Just checking in to see how your visit with your dad went. Praying that you are encouraged.
Shama
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