hi ziff,
thanks for asking! i am suppose 2 b up there (unc) on monday 10/14, and perfect descript
ion!!! the marathon starts on tues, and i will b finished on thursday. no, not old hat 4 me at all! connie, thank u 4 the clarification on lower ex. edema. if someone has ascites does it fluctuate or is it a constant until draining or under control. i take 80 mg of lasix and 125 mg of aldactone each day. i am noticing after i eat, and not large amounts, my abd becomes very hard to the touch, looks like a basketball & is uncomfortable. then in the morning it is better. i am small except when my stomach does that, in the evening mostly. am noticing how forgetful i am becoming, seriously so, and the most simple of tasks now escape me. i remember my husband and his encephalopathy and how horrible it was. i am very fearful from having gone thru that with him. 37 years of the deepest most kind heart any man could ever have. god how i miss him. he died 4 years ago.
ALL i want to do is sleep. i stay up very late, 0200-0300 and get up in the afternoon. i am finding it quite terrible. r u up 4 more:) i am very emotional, crying a lot. the being alone thing is to me, terrible. i'm a wreck!
i am trying to b kind to myself tho i feel , oh never mind. i am sorry to go on and on. this all makes me very sad and i am so deeply focused on myself i am bored to tears.
i am taking some pills (Xifaxan.) i don't want to get up and go downstairs 2 look at the name and the correct spelling, to help clear my head. i understand the mechanism that makes them work is different from the lactulose that my husband had to take, but i don't know if i am noticing an improvement.
hopefully i will find out while at unc how successful the rfa was. i am having a pet scan. i have not had one of those yet. have any of u had one? do u think they think i have mets?
forgive me u guys, for all the whining. honestly. please. it is because i live alone i think...and don't have anyone to talk to these things about
. no one's questions or opinions except my own. it is not healthy 2 b so isolated and i do it to myself. i know. i need 2 get my trip together. i can do it for about
3 days, then ...it's gone. u all r very very inspiring to me and so very strong. i don't like weak women! i need 2 build my strength, emotional, spiritual. i was SO strong for ted. i never let a second pass that was not on his behalf, fighting for him, helping him. i loved being his caretaker. loved it.
maybe tomorrow i will embrace the day b 4 me, and appreciate the fact i HAVE a day. perhaps i can help someone with a problem they have. that feels good to even think about
:)
with appreciation and blessings,
zoarie
ooooh, i know i will be embarrassed i pushed that send button after i do it!
Post Edited By Moderator (hep93) : 10/13/2013 12:18:30 AM (GMT-6)