Cancer returns

Hi everyone,
I have been away from the list for a long time. I have been doing well
With my HCC, Hep C, and Cirrhosis until my last MRI.
I hope you are all well. I will be around more now to keep track of you all:)
Just a reminder, last year after dx, and a meld of 22, i was refused getting on the list as UNC said i was too stressed.
I have been seeing a shrink that i really like and he has taught me ways to manage stress.
Thurs of last week i met with head liver doc at unc.He came to asheville.
My last mri on may 1st showed two new lesions with innumerable small ones in the background, esophagile varicies, and portal hypertension. Unc has not even read my scan yet, but when they do they might have a different opinion than the rad here.
UNC now says they will put me on the list, as i am much calmer, have been working out & have done everything else they had asked.
I am disappointed i was not put on list last year which could have possibly prevented this reoccurrence, but realize i may not have received a liver by now if i had been. I am afraid i am out of Milan.
One reason for my stress level is being alone in this. I have been dealing with that well now, but, this is a very serious turn for the worse, and i am having difficulties making life and death decisions alone. There are so many variables. There is absolutely nothing i can do about that tho.
I need you guys, and it is good to be back.
Hugs and love,
Zoarie

Zo, sorry to see your in such a fix at the moment. You have come to far to have this chance thrown away. You are gonna have to calm yourself. Don't overload yourself with all the issues and handle them one at a time. Just because your active on the list doesn't mean you won't have to wait for awhile. It stinks about the liver cacer but that puts your MELD up higher and will get you into transplant quicker. Connie had liver cancer and managed to have a large portion removed but still continued fighting on.

A good friend of mine's wife has ovarian cancer and she is in her 70s, Never had children so no youthful family to help. Husband barely gets around himself. I check on them and help as much as possible or as much as they permit actually. The cancer she has had returned 3 times now. She's shaved her head already and seems to be in good spirits. "I'm gonna beat this if it kills me!!!" She chuckled this weekend. We try to schedule our appointments to Cancer center and Liver clinic at the same times and carpool.

Far to often we over react to what might be instead of dealing with what we know. You had no hope of making the list when they turned you down initially. You did what needed to be done and look what happened just as I told you. Remember I had that no chance feeling also. Sometimes it's not strength that wins the battles it's tenacity. Keep pecking away at it and hopefully you'll keep tipping the scale in your favor.


Ziff

Hi Zo, I didn't feel you were as bad as the last time you posted. I just don't want you going there again and that's understandably easy to do. Just don't get yourself worked up. I was just trying to reinforce what you already know. I love Hayshi and the transplant center at UNC but certainly think in your case you need to be where you feel more secure.

Some folks are able to go it alone. We all are different in who we are with strengths and weaknesses. I like your idea about traveling once this is over. I'm done with traveling, Done it for years with work and seen some beautiful places but "There's no place like home". I have been toying with moving myself outside Raleigh about a hour away. Nice country around there but very expensive property.


Ziff

Z...I was away when you popped back in and I'm sorry to be late to the party.

Good you are getting help with the stress stuff. I think there are lots of mental components to liver disease and it is good you are getting help with them. BEfore TP Mike had to get a psych consult to evalute whether he was a good candidate for tp, if he might relapse on the alcohol side of things, and to manage his psych meds. He got through the evaluation part, but liked the doctor and continued to see her for a long time. Recently that practice has turned down Medicaid patients, so he doesn't see a counselor, but he is so much better now that he is Hep C cleared on the treatment.

I think it is great you go on a treatment program. Without Hep C you should be feeling better. Of course that Cancer issue is a big one. But look at the good sides of this:

Post transpant those without Hep C do way better in the long run.
Those without Hep C, get fewer cancer relapses...so when they treat this tumor and replace your liver, you should be good.
There are very successful treatments now for liver cancer...chemoembolization and such.

Keep us posted on your treatment program. And try to stay positive...others have done well...and so can you.

Hugs,
Mama Lama