Is she dying ?

Hi all,

I would like to give you an update on my cousin.

She has now told me that she is an alcoholic but has not told me of any diagnosis. She also said she has been a "functioning alcoholic" for 40 years, up to 18 months ago.

She has still been drinking a bottle of vodka a day since my last post up until this last week or so, she told me today she doesn't like the taste anymore and has drunk very little.

She has been quite unwell for the last 2 weeks, very weak, yellow skin and eyes, dry heaves but also bringing up bile and white mucus. She hasn't eaten in 4 days and cannot even take a sip of tea without retching. She can hardly lift herself out of her chair and has been sleeping most of the day and night for about a week.

She seems quite lucid but did snap at me today when I told her to see the doctor, but I am not sure if she is hallucinating as she said she had someone knocking on her door twice this week but I have not seen anyone there, she lives next door and we are in a very remote area.

We have made a compromise that if she is no better by Monday that I can make her an appointment, but I am concerned that it may be too late.

Her abdomen is very swollen and her breathing is not good, she has haemorrhoid's and has to wear pads due to incontinence. She is losing her hair and has spider nevi on her arms, neck and chest. She says her legs are sore and to be quite honest she looks like a yellow, walking corpse.

She also told me today that she does not want resuscitating if and when anything happens to her.

I really do not know what to do....do I make a doctor's appointment straight away or wait until Monday ? Do I risk her going mad at me or abide by her wishes ? I am at my wits end and so scared of going in and finding her in a coma or dead.

Please any help or suggestions would be much appreciated.

Tracey

Hi again Tracey,

It's been 7 months or so. I see that your cousin is much worse and that she apparently has no will to live.

This is going to be very rough on you, and I know that you weren't banking on being her caregiver, especially with your own Dad being sick.

She is very sick with ESLD. The hallucinations are probably due to Hepatic Encephalopathy or HE as we call it. That is when the ammonia in her body builds up and affects the brains, as the liver is too
sick to rid itself of toxins. It would help if you knew what medicines she is taking. Sounds like she needs lactulose, at least.

Does she have insurance for doctors and pharmacy? I'm not sure she will be okay by Monday, I think it sounds like she needs the ER right now. If she is having bouts of HE, they will not let her put a DNR order in place (do not resuscitate). She would have to be totally lucid for that. But it sounds like she is very sick.

I would call an ambulance and don't worry about her getting mad, you just may save her life....or at least give her her best chance. Without an eval by a hep doctor, it's hard to say how long she could live without treatment or transplant. Do you know anything about her labs or blood work? Whereabouts do you live....are you in the US?

Others will be along to welcome you and offer advice/suggestions. But myself, I would get her help ASAP.

Good luck and bless you for being a good cousin. Please keep us updated, I will be watching for you.

Hugs,

Thank you for the information MamaLama,

Not sure of the colour of her urine as she is still a very private person and will not let me help her with her personal hygiene.

I have power of attorney and no written DNR, she did say when she goes to see doctor on Monday she was going to ask them to put it on their medical records.

She has a brother and nephew in the UK but they are estranged, have been for as long as I can remember.

18 months ago she had bleeding from her mouth and anus, but told me at the time that it was a bleeding ulcer...I know different now, after many hours of research on the web and I have asked her today if she has been vomiting/passing blood and she said no.

I will call in tomorrow and try again to get her to the doctors before the week-end, luckily we can usually get in the same day, but not sure if she has the energy to go. I will talk to her about calling the doctor out if she is as bad as today.

I am quite worried about her swollen abdomen, what happens if she doesn't get the fluid drained off ? Or can it put itself right ?

Thank you again and I will keep you updated.

Tracey

Ok Tracey, so glad your Dad doesn't have cancer, what a relief!

Hope he is feeling tops in no time.

Tracey -

As the others have said, do what you think is needed to get her some medical assistance. If she's worried about having to "getting all tied up with that doctor involvement stuff" - well, that horse has already left the barn! Did she actually quit drinking or is it simply not possible anymore? Certainly the former would be more encouraging, at least from a mindset standpoint, and help us understand what her motivational state maybe.