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I have been having the worst couple of days

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Irritable Bowel Syndrome
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Posted 5/12/2009 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone I've been having the worst couple of days I never use to have any problems with taking Amitiza but after seeing my GI doctor and having him suggest that I take a lower dose of Amitiza.My stomach has been really bothering me and I have been feeling horrible after I eat with taking Amitiza with my food.Things all started when I noticed being on the lower dose I was not having my regular bms in the morning like I always used to feeling like I did not evacuate enough of my bms to go out for the day.So I decided to switch back to the higher dose of Amitiza that I was regularly taking before I did not go without the higher dose for three days.I guess my body was used to it and not going without it for three days things were off whack so reintroducing the higher dose back again into my body made me feel so horrible first time taking it again I felt like I had the flu and I was having ugent bms and my stomach was hurting so bad and cramping up.It's been doing that now for a couple of days now and I'm scared that things wont get better and I'm going to have a whole new set of bad stomach issues to deal with.I'm so tired of this I truly feel so alone I always fear the next day wondering what am I going to have to go through the next day.I had to end a start of a good relationship with someone cause I just wanted to be left alone and not bothered with anyone.This person was telling me that they understand what I go through and that it would not bother them when I was going through bad stomach problems infront of them.I just could not feel comfortable going through them when they were over my house I just wanted to be alone going through them.I ended up just fed up and tired and felt like I will never be able to feel comfortable around this person and will never be able to spend time with them like I should.I broke it off and hurt this person's heart cause they really like me.We are still friends but I do not want to pursue a relationship with them when I'm feeling terrible everyday and just do not want to be bothered.I was so close these past couple of days of taking my life feeling what is my life worth living for when I can not enjoy it.My bum hurts from wiping so much I'm so drained I'm mad at God and just want it all to end but I make it to the next day.I fear the bathroom lol having to see it so much I feel I'm always on the toilet and I'm afraid to eat at times I do not enjoy food like I should or get satisfaction after eating.I always worry what I eat will have me in agony and in pain.I need a miracle a devine intervention a cure from IBS I do not deserve this one bit no one does.Tomorrow is another day I have to be somewhere tomorrow and I'm not sure I'll be able to make it who knows how the day will turn out.I just have a real ****ed up stomach and digestive system and they are holding me prisoner I want my freedom back. mad sad cry
Posted 5/17/2009 2:49 AM (GMT 0)
I know how you feel, do not please do anything rash...you were able to get control over your IBS, you can do it again.. I have both IBS and multiple sclerosis....I have said if a angel of the Lord appeared and said he would cure only one of my illnesess, I would say please, the IBS....

and,please, call that person who was interested
Posted 5/17/2009 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
Hi jt. I'm really sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it with IBS. BUT, don't worry about how it's going to affect your BF. Us guys aren't as modest as you women. We don't care how many times you have to go or even if you go in your frillies. We'll even clean you up and apply soothing ointment to your sore little bum if need be. So call your BF and get him back in your life. You need someone to care about you and care for you right now. Give him a chance. Best of luck and I hope you're feeling MUCH better soon.
Bry
Posted 5/17/2009 4:20 PM (GMT 0)
I haven't been on the forums in awhile but I logged on this morning because I was feeling so down about missing Church AGAIN due to gut problems. I saw your post and realized, once again, that I am most definitely not alone and not the only one who goes through this misery. Small consolation perhaps, but still, one can feel like they are going crazy with this disorder since it disrupts and complicates every aspect of life. There isn't one thing I do on a daily basis that isn't informed by my gut concerns. Mad at God? You bet. I prayed like crazy last night that I would be able to get to Church this morning (haven't been in three weeks) and here I am - plugged up like a 50 year old bottle of wine gone bad. And this after I started a new "experiment" of eliminating wheat from my diet. I thought I might try this as I've tried everything else and dietary changes up to this point have had no effect. Now, I'll be driving myself crazy all day trying to decide if it was the brown rice or the one ounce of cheese or the nuts or the bacon or the.....see? Somehow, it always ends up being MY fault - even when I'm trying to do the RIGHT thing.

I understand the desire to isolate - we're like wounded animals who just want to curl up in a corner and lick our wounds when we feel this lousy. For me, it's the knowledge of what will happen since my morning had such a bad start. There will be pain, there will be an enormous amount of gas and bloating (won't be able to get a pair of pants on), there will be moments of feeling like a bm is imminent (a disaster in Church), and on and on. It is virtually impossible to explain to anyone who doesn't experience this painful and embarrassing problem.

I missed family celebrations at Easter and Mother's Day. Next weekend is my future daughter in law's bridal shower. July fourth is my son's wedding. Every upcoming event carries with it the fear that I will have to suffer through a day or evening in pain. Some things I can get through simply by white knuckling it but you have to ask, "is this my life????". It's very hard not to get despondent.

There are many days where I might fleetingly think "take me now, Lord" but if the OP is seriously thinking of acting on these thoughts I would highly recommend talking to someone. It's not uncommon to hear such things from folks who suffer with chronic painful conditions but you have to discern the difference between utter frustration and actual threat. I don't REALLY want to die because I feel terrible - I just want it to stop and I can't find a new language to describe this level of absolute exhaustion. I hope the OP is simply expressing the latter emotion and not seriously contemplating ending his/her life over IBS.

Sorry for being so long-winded (pun intended). I guess I should post more often.
Posted 5/19/2009 5:57 AM (GMT 0)
I, too, understand what it is like to want to be alone when you feel so awful. But eventually, you will feel better, and then you will wonder what you survived all of the agony for, if not for a little love and happiness. I realize I am probably overstepping my bounds here, but I think you should forget about "God" and instead remember the people here in this world who love you and want to be with you. Then you will remember why life is worth living, once you finally make it off the toilet ;-)

I finally explained to my boyfriend of 1.5 years that I had IBS (I had to explain to him what that was) a couple of months ago. I was so scared that he would think I was disgusting, that he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. He was shocked that I thought so. He said, "Do you really think I'm that superficial? I love YOU [tapping my forehead, indicating my brain]. Your body is just icing on the cake." (Obviously, it does not feel like icing to me.) It just wasn't a big deal to him. When I said, "but, I want to be sexy for you," he laughed! He said, "you don't have to be sexy ALL the time." He even made a joke about holding his hands out for me to crap in if we went somewhere where there weren't any bathrooms around! I was so relieved I alternated laughing and crying for about 10 minutes. It's just not as big of a deal for most guys as it is for us silly, ruined-by-society females.

I had a HORRIBLE day IBS-wise today, but it's over now, and tomorrow is another day. I try to remain hopeful. You should, too. It sounds like you have someone in your life who loves you.
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