I'm having the worst day

Hey everyone just wanted to breeze through and share some,I'm having the worst day last night I went to bed late.I told myself that I would not go to bed late but I find myself doing this.I did not take my anti-dpressents before I went to bed which helps me get to sleep a lot faster.Before going to bed I was feeling hugry and decided to make myself two peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches I know I might pay for eating late but I was hungry.That's all I had to eat and I was craving it,so ate the sandwiches brushed my teeth then went to bed.I was feeling a little gassy while I was laying there in bed trying to get to sleep,lol I have this thing where I do not pass gas where I'm at I always head to the bathroom to do it.It is a phobia brought on by anxiety over having gas cause I feel that is where that belongs only in the bathroom only when I'm home.I get anxiety over people knowing that I'm passing gas and that they can smell it.That is why I always go to my bathroom to pass it cause they always end up sometimes being longwinded and that bothers me.This is what having a unhealthy digestive system has done to me I'm consumed with fear over a normal bodily function.I hate feeling this way cause this morning I woke up as I always do with flatulence then made several trips to my bathroom to pass gas and was feeling so much fear and anxiety that people outside knew what was going on with me.Then I had my several bms before I could head out and walking to where I needed to go I was having a major panic attack that people were looking at me and whispering and laughing.The whole time I was just calling out the name Jesus to get me through this,I also missed my therapy appointment cause I was too messed up to go.I really hate feeling this way it's making me sick to my stomach and I also hate not having control over my bms the urgency.The urgency just makes me feel worse like with IBS never feeling like you have evacuated enough of your bms I just want to be able to just go once and be done with it for the whole day.I feel so alone when I go through these things like I'm the only one on the planet earth who is dealing with IBS.I know that is not true but I do,oh and I wonder is being on Amitiza making me have frequent bms and do I need the aid of it since I'm eating foods with fiber.I'm just all messed up I want to cry sometimes but the tears wont come,I also want to eat real ****ing food I've mentioned that I eating the recommended foods for my IBS day in and day out.It is so bland and repetative I crave cheese burgers,chocolate,cake tacos,chicken parm subs yum I'm getting so hungry for those foods right now lol.I know if I eat those foods I'm doomed I got to stop cause this is not helping me any I just needed to come on and let out my frustration.I really question God why is he allowing me to go through so much pain I'm so sad and lonely.Please guys keep me in your prayers and send good thoughts my way I really need them.As always wishing you all good stomach and digestive health all my love. xoxoxo

Thank you Leslie I'm staying strong

jt80 - my heart just breaks for you and all you're struggling with. I am just a mom/wife struggling with IBS like symptoms, my life has been completely turned upside down for 10 years now. Not a therapist or trained in therapy but from gathering so much info from books from the library, to the internet, to talking to my doctor, I've discovered if I tackle my situation as simply and as positively as possible, I manage much better. If I were sitting across from you I would hold your hand and let you cry. I think you need a really, really good cry and someone to pat your hand. You need to hear that this will not be your life forever. You have no idea what's down the road. Your doctor could run one more test and determine what is causing your trouble. So don't give up. But might I suggest one thing above all? Make a list. List what you can change about your situation and what you can't. Keep it simple. This is a list, not a diary. If you experience gas and it's keeping you from leaving home, make that a goal - how can I leave home if I have to pass gas. I develop a sudden cough or bump into a piece of furniture. Or suddenly drop my purse, to create a diversion. Silly habits like this mask what I'm going thru. And truth be told, I've noticed that most people I encounter have their own schedule on their minds, it's rare when they are quiet, focused on me and listening very closely. Heck, people almost run me down at stop signs, slam their grocery cart into mine, they're so completely absorbed in their old worlds, I am not even a blip on the radar screen. Honest! And you know what, if you let one rip and someone hears you, just lie and say what I do (but in my case it's not a lie) - oh I'm a colon cancer survivor, I've had a lot of my colon removed and this is what happens. Do the people say - oh honey, so sorry, no they gasp, distance themselves from me but I just smile.

Of course I am 54 and been thru a lot in my life. I now know that others do not notice that I am farting, burping, eating far too little in a restaurant compared to their entrees, have an urgent need to use the bathroom. For the most part, they always think I have a bladder problem. Ha! So again, I just let them think this. And if they think my troubles are stomach related? I let them again think this. At least they've stopped their busy lives for a moment to ask how I am! But I just no longer even bother trying to explain anything about IBS. It's a LOST cause! Trust me.

I strongly feel that if you try to approach your situation from a completely different angle - for example, instead of asking why me, ask why not me, I'm strong, I can get thru this - you may see that a new attitude (resolve to manage IBS better) just might help you the most.

I know first hand that if I am extremely stressed out, I almost always have either dumping, or all out D.

Please know that my suggestions are only meant in the kindest way possible. Feel free to not take them but for what it's worth, please try just another approach with your situation. Getting this stressed out is not doing you any good.

Hang in there!
Fondly,
Mary

I'm having a bad day today, not horrible, but I've been doing well for a while and tried to cut out a supplement for a few days, and yesterday I ate out and tried something different. Nothing drastic, and maybe all just coincidence, but either way I'm paying. As a result, I ate some beets which usually help with my GI problems, and took a DGL Licorice (which I'd stopped for 3-4days now). The combo seems to have helped, but, life will never be the 'old normal' it seems, only the new normal at best. Argh.

The other thing that helps me is doing some chores; especially Vacuuming (that movement seems to help ease GI Symptoms). That said, pretty much anything that can get my mind off of stress helps a little. So, that said, I'm going to quit reading for a while and attempt to do just that. I hope you find something to that works for you, and if you do, please share!

Post Edited (eihcet) : 7/12/2009 2:01:37 PM (GMT-6)

I'm a guy 29yrs young my self-esteem has diminished I used to be such a vibrant out going person always smiling always getting compliments on my smile.I rarely smile since my day is consumed with something that makes me angry and sad,but I do have my days rare when I feel happy but it does not last for long when a symptom comes on.I do try to not feel stressed by listening to music that always puts me in a good mood that's all I have.I tried getting back into reading I used to be such an advate reader but now I guess because of my depression I really have no intrest in it anymore.In the past I would say six years I only read one book through eat pray love I may have messed up the order of that lol but it was a really good book I escaped for a bit from my miserable life.I need to stop speaking so negatively on my life and just be thankful for the small things but it's hard when thing literally suck in mine.I think I may try to go to the healingwell gathering on the 28th since I live in Boston.This is what I've been praying for being able to meet others going through the same thing to relate and just get support.I'm going to try my hardest to if it's the last thing I do but other then that I'm still going to keep fighting and stay strong and just hope I start feeling better.Thank you all for your caring kind words they do make a difference in how I feel and make me feel a little better all my love. :)

I know it sucks, but maybe your body is just getting use to the Amitza right now. Did you ask your doctori f
fiber and Amitza is adviseable. I stopped the fiber when he put me on Amitza. Check that out and be strong.