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does IBS get in the way of your relationships?,or trying to start a new one?

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Irritable Bowel Syndrome
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Posted 10/17/2010 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
Ok so the thing I hate the most about IBS is that it can leave me vulnerable and scared to be left by yourself.I met someone great who I started a relationship with and was with them for awhile.Now were no longer together we are friends this person is very understading about my IBS.I feel angry now that I are relationship is over and that sometimes this person may hold the fact that I have IBS over my head.I'm left in a vulnerable possition afraid they may tell others about me having IBS.I'm scared of being left alone I get jealous when I think this person has been intament with others! I hate that I feel this way!!! and I also want to start a new relationship with someone new who I've shared my having IBS with.I feel in some way that this person who I'm friends with now may want to really hurt me by embarassing me by telling others about me having IBS.I would break down! this person knows how much I hate dealing with IBS and how I get anxiety over having it.I'm scared that I will never find someone like my friend who will be so understaning about me having IBS.I hate that my friend has this power over me.If in any way I try to hurt my friend and be with someone new my friend will embarrass me by telling what I go through with having IBS.I truly feel lonely and that I'll never have no one in my life by my side.My last hope is in God cause I have not figured out yet how to live my life to the fullest still having IBS.That one day I'll wake up and not have IBS anymore.I hate my friend that their pulling the strings and I hate to think that my friend has had sex with someone in my building!!!!!Sometimes I get angry at my friend for having this power over me!!!!,


I need advice guys my nightmare is people I dont know talking about me having IBS I get scared about that! People talking and laughing about my having IBS it will bring my self esteem to a low.I need to pray about this and ask God to help me I hate IBS soooo much!!!! I'm sooo sad right now and angry that IBS is getting in the way of any joy that should come my way.I deserve to be happy and not allow IBS to steal my joy and happiness and my self worth!!!!! Love you guys when I come on here I know I'm not alone and I can relate to you all.I just wish I could meet you all wish you all lived in Boston.Well till next post take care guys my spirits are down,but God bless!

Post Edited (jt80) : 11/4/2010 9:29:54 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/17/2010 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
I remember when I was 6 years old I had to wear glasses...I was the first person in the class to wear glasses...those that laughed the most at me were the next lot to wear glasses.
The moral is ...he or she who live in glass houses (or may one day live in glass houses) should cast no stones.
Your best solution is if you can hide it ( IBS) then do so.
If you cannot hide it be open and direct about it.
Posted 10/19/2010 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
JT, did the relationship end because you have IBS?

I have quite a bit to say about all this, but this is a great quote to think about. Don't take this the wrong way, its not a fault issue just one to thin about.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Another aspect is its not YOUR fault you have IBS and actually letting people know and not being to worried others know you have IBS can also be a freeing experience.

I have so much to say here ts hard to write it all. It is hard sometimes very hard to have IBS and relationships, I was lucky personally and I am married to someone with IBS and its stil hard on the relationship.

There is something called the IBS companion a CD to help explain IBS to others you might want to look into it is excellent.

Another issue here is how you react to people "pulling the strings." There are different ways to deal with all this for the best outcome.

But the anger and anxiety will make your IBS worse, as you probably know. Have you ever been to a therapist to help sort out some of these issues?
Posted 10/20/2010 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
Would you laugh or make fun of someone becuase they are blind, autistic, or if they have cancer?? Of course your wouldn't, becuase you know what it is like to suffer from a medical condition that you have no control over. The bigger question is, do you want to be friends with people that make fun of any uncontrollable medical condition, or would use your condition to hurt you? You will find out who true friends are, and you will be disappointed from time to time because people who you thought were your true friends will let you down. IBS symptoms are enough to worry about, you do not need to add this fear to your stress. Even though I know it is extremely hard not to wonder what a person may think about your situation, let alone if they can use it against you. I find that if I am suspecting of a person talking about my IBS behind my back, then I will tell that person exactly what I have to go through. If they can't show compasion and understanding, then you don't need them in your life. There are millions of people you can share your life wife, don't waste it on people that cause you pain. So stop living in fear, If your ex spreads your secret deal with it IF it happens and only with people you want in your life. I am a basketball coach and teacher and have had IBS for over 2 years know, I have probably told over 200 high school aged students about my IBS and not once have I been made fun of to my face, and I have never heard of being made fun of behind my back by students. Pretty remarkable if you ask me, because I think we all know that high schoolers can be extremely mean. It seems to me you have good faith in God. I know a little about Him, and I am pretty sure He would not want you to worry about what people may think about you, but what you do for others, how you live your life, and that God is in your heart is what matters.
Posted 10/20/2010 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
good post IBS sucks
Posted 10/21/2010 7:39 AM (GMT 0)
hey! oh my gosh...I know exactly ho wyou feel.:( but I really agree with what the others are saying. sometimes we have to learn the hard way that someone isn't such a great friend,and it really really sucks when that happens,but you have to just hold your head high and hang in there. people are jerks,and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I know it's so embarrassing,but really-why?? I ask myself that all of the time,it's a medical condition for crying out loud. I've been dealing with undiagnosed stomach problems for years,mostly constipation,and at first I was really embarrassed,I didb't even want to have to look at the cashier(of course,it would always be a really gorgeous guy or someone I knew,(ahhh!)when I was buying laxatives,but now,if this disease has taught me anything,it's to not care what people think. if they don't treat you right,screw them. seriously. :) I hope you feel better soon. you will find that special person,and when you do you'll be really happy you didn't settle for any of the previous jerks. :P :P
Posted 10/24/2010 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
I just registered.  So this the first time I'm doing this.  This is a medical condition and any one that would make fun of you for that is not a friend and not  worth another thought.   I gave up doctors a long time ago.  Didn't like the meds I was given, so I looked for natural alternatives.  Digestive enzymes and probiotics seem to help.  Also has anyone researched gluten allergies and IBS?  I'd be interested to here some other peoples findings. 
Posted 11/26/2010 10:59 PM (GMT 0)
Good news to all people who have diarrhea everyday, your going to be so happy once i tell you guys this. all you got to do is eat bread: croissant, toast, bread that have a lot of yeast in it; that real thick bread. go to your local grocery store and go to the bakery section where they have all that bake bread that rise up and have alot of yeast, don't even think about getting any pastries or sweets .when you go there you get croissant or toast in a bag if your grocery store don't have toast in a bag buy regular bread and toast it ,but i prefer croissant cause it work for me. of course, you also eat your meats, fruits, vegetables, pasta, beans all food except sweets, dairy food, and junk food. I promise you in about a month you will have no diarrhea. you will have to make a sacrifice and let go of sweets and dairy food for a long time thats the only way it work. if you want to live your life without diarrhea i suggest you abide by this. its up to you to be strong and resist the pleasure of sweets and diary food. may god bless you guys and i hope you guys live a happy healthy life. let me know your results after you try this. so many years i have experience diarrhea it use to take control of me but not no more thanks be to god our wonderful farther in heaven who gave me the answer to my problem. don't forget to eat about 3 piece of bread each day and drink alot of water no drinks, sodas, alcohol, drink water or gatorade but make sure you drink more water then gatorade. I keep repeating myself because i am so glad that this problem is over with for me after all those years . its amazing how the simple things work over all these so call doctors treatment. I went to the doctor and took all the tests; the blood test, and stool test and everything came back fine. one day i had got on my knees and prayed to god and he gave me the answer. i know i might sound religion but this is the true. I hope you believe what am saying and stick to it and you guys too will be spreading the good news. be happy and live life peacefully and walk in love.

Post Edited (quanda) : 11/27/2010 9:29:04 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/26/2010 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
So give me a snapshot of your daily solid intake?

3 slices of bread and/or croissant. That's it?

No fresh fish, no vegetables, no fruit? No pasta or rice?

I could see giving up all sweets, candy, and the like. Also, adhering to strictly water and/or gatorade.

But I just don't think I could live on bread alone.
Posted 11/28/2010 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry that i wasn't specific but yes you eat your meats, fish, vegetables, fruits, rice, beans, pasta all food except sweets and dairy food. also, i advise you to eat 1 fruit a day because fruits have alot of fiber in it and to much of fiber can cause diarrhea. I know it's going to be impossible to find food without sugar or dairy in it, and for that reason choose food that has a small percentage of sugar and dairy because of how the food is today. let me know your results when you try it. in conclusion, stay far away from sweets, junk food, dairy food, and eat lots of bread, drink 2 quarts of water a day. you might want to wait to you get finish with all your daily routines before you drink 2 quarts of water its better to drink the 2 quarts of water at home.

Post Edited (quanda) : 11/27/2010 9:10:33 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/28/2010 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
I usually don't try new trends on a whim. I would need to be desperate and it would be over the summer (while I'm not working). So that said, thank you but I think I'd like to keep my status quo/diet going for right now. Especially with the holidays coming up. I already eat light and plain foods. The only dairy I have is organic yogurt, which seems to help, even though I take a probiotic.

But thank you just the same. I pictured you eating just bread in a 24 hour period and I wondered how in the world you made that work!

I will say this though, until you have IBS issues, you think the saying - you are what you eat - is a joke. Not to be taken literally. Most of us know by now that we ARE what we eat. Sigh.....
Posted 11/28/2010 4:22 AM (GMT 0)
you got the wrong understanding, i don't eat just bread i eat fruits, vegetables, meats, beans, side dishes, all food except sweets and dairy. if i just ate bread i don't think i'll be here talking to you.
Posted 11/28/2010 2:26 PM (GMT 0)
lol, no you surely would not be here able to type.

But you have to keep in mind, that we occasionally get some real crack pots posting, with VERY wacky diets and fads. I wondered if you fell into their camps. Over on the UC forum there's a member who eats every other day. For one 24 hour time period she doesn't eat any solids. And of course some have put in that wacky/crazy camp.

I just didn't know where you fell and I'm happy to know you're not one of the wacky ones. Your approach is practical and makes sense for you and others.

Over a long break I could try eliminating all dairy and sugar. Couldn't hurt.

Thanks again.
Posted 1/13/2011 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
This has been one of the most difficult parts of having IBS for me. Just this morning I got into a fight with my boyfriend, who can't really understand what it's like. I woke up with the morning "rush", as many people call it, and he was using the only washroom in the house to get ready for work- just the worry of not making it was excruciating, aside from the abdominal pain. He wants me to be more honest with him, and I'm happy he's supportive, but he doesnt' really understand the embarrassment that comes with having IBS. (I have had symptoms for the past 10+ years, but only got a diagnosis 2 years ago).

My suggestion is to start out with people you really trust- close, longtime friends if you have some. This is how I slowly began to tell people. If we were going on a long car ride, for example, i would say, Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I have "issues/IBS/however you want to word it", so if I ask to stop to use the washroom, I'm not kidding. The more people I began to tell at first, the more comfortable I became. i found that if you explain it first, people understand that it's a medical condition that you have little/no control over, and most have had a good response. In fact, it has really helped me with my anxiety around embarrassment- if my friends already know that I have IBS, if I get up several times to use the washroom or whatever, I don't feel the need to have to come up with an excuse, or feel awkward, because I know that they already know why. It took me quite a while to get comfortable with being upfront about my symptoms, but in the long run, it has been really helpful for me.

The bottom line is, it's a medical condition that you can't help, and if people can't understand that or see past it, it's not worth it!
Posted 1/15/2011 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Here is my IBS and bathroom issues.
I have IBS or Parkinsoons Disease...what I mean I think it is Parkinsons that is affecting my bowel and bladder....whether it is PD or IBS is immaterial because the result is the same.
Now to get to the bottom of the subject (pun intended) my wife and i sometimes leave for work at around the same time and as a result have bathroom requirements at around the same time..ie showers, brushing teath, doing hair and of course sitting on the toilet.
Here comes the problem....I can take a real long time on the throne...my bowels and colon move very slowly...sometimes I have to sit twice within a short period. this causes great demands on the bathroom....i have suggested many times that when I am on the toilet my wife just simply goes about her bathroom routine (showering etc) but she will not go along with this so we have morning bathroom aggrevation. Now I know people generally like privacy...but when you are together it should not be such a big deal.
I now have a second plan in place...plan B that instead of spending so long on the toilet at home I go to a public toilet on the way to work.....it is really good because it is clean and I can take my sweet time. The same situation applies at work....we have only two toilets and whilst I use those I often use the public toilet where I can take my time...and I do and feel better for it.

Next subject is raising medical issues with friends....I rarely do because most people do not have a sufficient understanding of the human body and things medical.
Posted 1/16/2011 4:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hello There,

I am a 36 year old guy.
I am suffering Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) disease.
Can anyone tell me about Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) treatment?
What are the reasons of this Disease?
Do you have any idea about its cure?
Is this disease can be cause of cancer?
What supplement I can take in IBS?


Thanks.
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