portaloo,
Many doctors out there for some reason don't give referals. You need to keep insisting that you need one or find a walk in clinic that maybe could refer you. Having accidents in public is not normal and things should be checked out.
In the meantime ask for a perscription for LOMOTIL it is better than immodium, by slowing down the colon it should stop you from having accidents while you are out. It was a life saver for me, I dont worry now when I;m out about finding every washroom.
Do you currently take probiotics? If not you should take a high quality one to put the good bacteria back into the colon.
Metamucil is beneficial as well to bulk up the stool and absorb the water from the colon, start with a small dose and gradually increase.
Have you ever tried eliminating gluten/bread/flour products from your diet to see if that helps, it does wonders for many of us.