Posted 8/27/2012 11:29 PM (GMT 0)
No one's in my house right now, and I'm having some sort of panic attack just now and just feel I need to vent so I found this website. I just feel I need to get this off my chest.
I've had a fear of being sick for as long as I can remember and it seems to be getting progressively worse as I get older. If I feel sick or feel I'm in a situation where I think I could be sick, I'll panic so much that I'll make myself ill in some kind of viscous circle. I'm now 18 years old.
My grandad got ill a few months ago and it was a very stressful time for the entire family, that's when I started to notice ache's and pains in my abdomen along with slight changes in my bowel movements. It's never been too painful, more annoying than anything with no drastic changes. My poor grandad passed away and my stomach still acted up and I got way more anxious than usual.
I read online that IBS can be brought on by a stressfull/traumatic event and also something like my grandads passing can cause my anxiety to increase. It also matched most of my symptoms which include bloating, constipation and passing mucus. I think they're both interconnected as the symptoms seem to get worse, the more anxious I get.
On two separate occasions I have passed some blood in my stool, which made me very VERY anxious but my mum has said she think's it sounds like hamerroids. I felt fine otherwise except for some niggling symptoms which can easily be explained by IBS.
However my anxiety has increased into overdrive and I now constantly have panic attacks along with fits of crying and I'm convinced I've got something really really wrong with me, to the point where I think I may be dying with something terrible like colon cancer. Even typing that, I know sounds irrational but my brain goes into overdrive and I can't help thinking these thoughts and getting so scared. Mum's not here at the moment and I just really want someone just to reassure me that everythings going to be okay.
Sorry for rambling, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks to anyone who reads and replies :)