Going out this weekend! - Advice

Hey IBS sufferer..i am exactlyyyy like u.. i used to go to bars and clubs alllllllllllll the time..im 25..now i hateee going and only go about hmm maybe once a month..or if its someones birthday.. for me i always take a gastro-stop or lomotil before i go because i get nervous. i always take my own car, ill only have a drink of white wine, one i know and i hope for the best haha. I usually would have a vodka and lemonade but i dont now cos im a bit worried it might not be good to have when im out and nervous...ummm what else do i do....usually i go to places i know. Like i work out if a) there are more than one toilet (that puts my mind at ease) cos in clubs sometimes the girls toilets have lines coming out of them. and b) go to a place that isnt packed out...but sometimes u cant help it, i know...but if u have a choice i go to places that arent packed out...Usually when i do finally get out im generally ok cos im not thinking about my stomach so thats a good thing. but its the actual getting out there in the first place. leaving the home...thats my hardest part..hope thats helped a bit

:)

I have heard from several IBSers that hard liquors, like vodka, seem easier on the guts. Which sounds counterintuitive, but apparently it relaxes the guts. If you drive yourself, though--which is a good idea--you'll want to be light on the hard drinks and stop early so you won't be drunk and can drive safely (obviously).

I know you said coke was hard on you (I can't handle it either), but what about non-caffeinated drinks? When I was in Ireland, I used to get a bottle of Finch's fizzy orange and a bottle of fizzy white lemonade mixed up in a pint glass and not only was it good, but it was something I could sip on for a long while and it didn't seem to affect me too much (I paid a little bit the next day for the carbonation, but not bad). If you're okay with juice, most bars have orange juice, lemonade and the like to mix with drinks, so you can get that without alcohol (but don't expect them to charge you less for it!). My favorite drink is a virgin pina colada. That's never bothered me because it's not fizzy, doesn't have caffiene and is not acidic. If the bar you're going to does a lot of mixed drinks, then just look over their menu and get one virgin; some of the chocolate/coffee dessert drinks are good.

If you want a little dose of alcohol, my suggestion would be one of the dessert drinks like Kaluha, Buttershots or Bailey's Irish Cream over a little ice. They have low alcohol contents and the milk they are mixed with--if milk doens't bother you--helps cut some of the alcohol on your stomach. I haven't ever noticed a problem with having a shot of one of these. I can't attest to more than one shot, though. (That's the maximum amount of alcohol I like to drink.) I have heard the very worst thing you can drink, though, is beer, so avoid it like the plague.

Hope you have fun.

I don't drink a lot, so that won't really be a problem with me getting drunk. But usually I would just sip on a lite beer (before all of the IBS problems happened). I didn't know that beer was hard on the stomach. It seems like hard liquor would be harder.

I don't have the luxury of going someplace small. I go to gay bars and they are loud and wild and the bathrooms are pretty dismal. I will definitely drive myself though just in case.

Should I double up on immodium?

I am only 35 so retirement homes are far from ideal!!! lol I usually do require RX pain meds that help the best (but honestly, their not mine. I ususally get some from friends or family). I don't have any for this weekend yet. I am afraid that I will be fine but the alcohol will still mess up my stomach even with the meds. Years ago in my twenties way before my IBS, I would drink and be fine until the next day and the alcohol would give me really bad diarrhea. I don't know if that happens to all guys who drink too much.

And you pegged me right. I am searching for a mate. I am a decent looking guy who has grown very lonely from being isolated because of IBS. And its not so bad meeting people, but how do tell a prospective mate that "yeah we had fun the other night, but I have chronic stomach problems that keep me near a bathroom most times- would you like to continue dating me?" Most guys (including myself) would run. No one likes the idea of disease, unless you are already hitched to someone you love. Then the love overrides it.

by the way, thanks for all of your alls advice!!! Any and all future advice is extremely appreciated!

UPDATE - I made it out to our local gay bar and it was a little nerve racking at first since I hadn't been out in a long time. I took some painkillers before I left, and when I got there I drank 7 & 7 (Seagrams and 7up) and I was fine all night! Ran into a few friends and was really glad to get out and be social again.

I agree with Sarita about being ill and finding someone. I went out on my first date with my fiance on a Saturday/Sunday (it was a medieval reenactment weekend) and had my gall bladder out that following Monday! Then we went out on our second date that following Sunday! He was very understanding with my not eating very much lunch that Sunday because my stomach was still way messed up. I won't say he's been in it from the beginning, because I had a bad gall bladder for 5 years, and he missed me pacing the floor for an hour or two in pain so bad I couldn't stand up straight, followed by a lot of diarrhea. But he still gets to experience plenty of it. And, you know, it's not like he's not "broken" as well. He has had three knee surgeries and a back surgery and is just now getting over a rotator cuff problem that he's had for almost a year now. So I make allowances for things he can't do because of his bad knees/back and he makes allowances in our eating for my guts. We just look out for one another, like two people in love are supposed to do.

Maybe when people are young (read: 20's), they expect everything to be just perfect. Both sexes are still hung up on finding someone attractive and sexually exciting. But as you get older, you focus less on those things and more on personality, intelligence, mutual interests. And the fact that your body no longer functions the way it did when you were 18, well that's just par for the course. Most people start sliding downhill in their mid-to-late 30's. Certainly by their 40's. I think if you're looking at people your own age or slightly older, you'll find that they are more generous in tolerating your gut problems than you think they will be. Because maybe they have gut problems; can't handle the chilis and booze like they used to. Maybe he's bald and a bit overweight. My girlfriend who is, let's say, a wee bit behind on dating and men in general, is still going on about good-looking guys and guys her age and I keep telling her if she wants a good man, she needs to look to someone a bit older. Because young men are jerks. They don't grow out of that until at least 30. And if you're all hung up on good looks, what happens when those fade?--because they will. I tell her I got Stuart after he was already bald so I don't have to lament the loss of his hair along with him, lol. He's 17.5 years my senior and we get along very well because he's already gotten all his young-man kinks worked out and he's responsible, has a mortgage, pays his bills, works, has good credit, etc. That's the kind of man you have to look out for. That's exactly the sort of person who won't mind you having problems because he'll certainly have some of his own. And even if he's the picture of health, a David in marble, he'll at least be responsible enough to look after you when you're sick.

You never know until you try.

Glad you had a good time. I hope you feel confident enough to go out some more. It gets easier everytime you get through something like that without a major problem.