How Long can This Go On?

I was just sitting here tonight feeling on the verge of tears because of my constant pain so I am really glad I saw your post.

My experience with IBS (20 years now!) has been pretty consistent.  I could probably count on one hand how many "good" periods I've had.  My whole life is a "flare up".  I think I may be an unusual case as most people I've met and talked with do have periods of relief.  You may be in a particularly long period of distress right now and, as we know, the more anxious about it that we become, the worse it gets.  I don't really get anxious anymore because I avoid situations where I might have a problem.  However, I do get depressed because life does get smaller and smaller when your bowels stand between you and the things you really want to do.  The last few weekends I've spent on the couch with a heating pad on my belly!  My main accomplishment was getting to Church on Sunday and believe me, that was a big deal!

I am blessed because I work alone so I don't have to worry too much about about something terrible happening on the job.  I have access to a private bathroom and if I had to, I could lay down for a bit or even leave early if necessary.  I only work 8 minutes from my home so I can always run home in an emergency.  I try to focus on the good things when I really get down.  It's hard though, to stay positive.  Coming to these boards does help me.  It's just comforting to know I am not alone and other's understand.

So I really don't have any words of wisdom except to say that I feel for you and really empathize.  I know that counseling has helped me though the years to cope with the depression. 

Thank you all so much for the words of support and understanding. It goes a long way to helping and making me feel a little less crazy that I am truly not alone in what is a very difficult illness to talk about.

Gutastrophe, I truly can relate when you say that life gets smaller and smaller and the big deal and huge effort involved in accomplishing even the smallest and simplest of tasks. My church is next door to my house and some weeks it might aswell be a million miles away for the effort and courage it takes.

Tummyblogger, you raise some interesting things for me to think about. I think my next step is to get some full allergy testing done. Something I should have had several years ago after a severe allergic reaction to antibiotics but thanks to my shoddy Doctor I never got them. I do suspect many food intolerances. These used to be easier to recognise but I feel have escalated in recent years to the point where I can no longer see the wood for the tree's.

7Lil, thank you for the warm welcome. I have been taking probiotics for about a year now. I did notice when I first started taking them on a daily basis, an incredible and immediate improvement. I have been quite lax in recent months due to the erraticcness of the upsets ... so maybe why they haven't been working so well? There have been occasions when I have felt they have contributed to my episodes, hence my not sticking to the daily routine of taking them.

For the past couple of months it has been IBS-C mostly, with a once a week "catch up" of the D variety but this last week most just D, every time I have eaten. And lots of pain and cramping.

I do think I am feeling a little more reassured (atleast for today) that this is nothing more than a chronic attack and that it IS perfectly normal for it to be so severe & prolonged. Thank you all