Barbara Lee, how are you doing?

Barb, how are you doing these days? It's been a while since I've heard from you or about you. I hope you're doing a little bit better and are able to enjoy the pretty Spring weather. I've been thinking about you.

Love,

Pat

((((((((((Barbara))))))))) Hear you are worrying over the rest of us and you are in a big mess yourself!! Darned it all . . . how can these docs make you wait so long for something so important. I guess they figure you'll go the ER if its bad enough . . . but honestly you could drop dead waiting. Sorry . . . just had to vent on your behalf. I hope you'll keep us posted sis. Blessings!

Barb--

Haven't been on much but wondered how you are doing and think about you often and pray for you. I hope that you can get your bone marrow transplant and that it helps. I so want you to be doing better.  Love, Marji

((((((((((((((((Barb)))))))))))))))))))))

Hi Babs and Patty:

I sent my PCM an email and she ordered a CT of my belly and since I was having one of my chest today it worked out. My temp is down to just 100.5. By the time they managed to get an IV in me the clinic was closed and I don't know what the results are. I'm assuming I'll here from her tomorrow.

I think I still have diverticulitis and need IV antibiotics. Of course, my doctors are dead set against admitting me to the hospital, unless they feel they have no choice. The fact I had a high temp yesterday and that it's down today doesn't seem to worry her to bad.

I'll pass on news as I find it out. Thanks for caring and asking about me. I hope your eyes are feeling better Babs, and Patty I'm hoping you're still feeling pretty good.

Love,
Barb

((((Barb)))),

   Tks for updating us. I'm glad your temp is down some. I hope it goes down even more tonight. Take care sweetie and hope to chat with you tomorrow. Sleep well. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                              Love, Babs

Hi All:

I've been sitting here and after reading your posts, I've got crossed feelings. I appreciate all your care and support, but I have to say I feel a bit hurt. Rosie you mentioned I should add "when it rains it pours" to my signature and have commented about me being sick for years. I have to say I'm feeling hurt, I feel like I can't share my illness and feelings anymore. I had someone in chat say to me that the were "sick of me being sick all the time". I don't know maybe I'm being to touchy here, but the fact is, I've got MDS and it will continue to worsen until it's full blown leukemia or severe MDS.

I can't help that I'm sick all the time. I have no immune system at all, so I'm open to every bug that I'm exposed to. I live in constant pain from the lupus and the RA. The MDS has zapped any energy that I had left from the lupus. I have say I'm sad, I miss my old life and I sorry if I'm bugging you all with my stuff. I try to be supportive to the others here and try to show that I understand what you all are going through. Guess the best thing to do is not discuss how I'm feeling and just support you all.

I truly didn't mean to take so much from you all. I'm sorry that I've gone on about things. I'll shut up about myself and just offer support to you all. I feel so guilty I didn't mean to make you feel sick of me, I'm truly sorry. I hope you all have a good day and have many good days ahead.

Take care,
Barbara

Always remember that your real friends are here to support you -- however awkward and clumsy we may sometimes be about it. Posting and chatting loose a lot of emotion that is carried in our tone of voice, hugs, facial expression, body posture, etc. Yes, we are tired of you being ill -- but that doesn't mean tired of supporting you or listening to you!!! We are tired of feeling so absolutely helpless and unable to do real, tangible things to help you. As far as I know, we don't yet do laying on of hands, can't take you places, cook you nutritious food, give you a hug, bring you books & movies, do your laundry, etc...all those things that we wish we could do and that we know would help! We know you are very very sick, frustrated, angry, exhausted, mostly housebound, and everything that means. We love you and wish we could take all that away. Oh, how we wish that we could keep all the "extra" symptoms that keep popping up safely tucked away in a dark dark corner in the back of a broom closet in the basement of a building in deepest coldest Antarctica! Until then, we'll try to listen better,

((((Barb)))),

    I'm sorry to hear that was said to you in chat sweetie! We are here for you anytime you need us. Please don't let one persons comments make you feel you can't come here for support. You are always very supportive of others and we want to help you in anyway we can.

   Barb, I know you are tired and weary and thats normal with your situation...(((hugs))). You have alot on your plate and you need all the support you can get. You vent, cry, scream or whatever you need to do, anytime!

   You are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

                                           Lots of love, Babs