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Posted 6/11/2009 10:04 PM (GMT 0)
my in law sent a whole bunch of stuff to make me look bad to the prosecuttor handling the case where they are trying to take my son away from us. They seemed to think it would help my husband keep his parental rights and make me lose mine so that he would take our son and move in with them. I know they hate me but *** were they thinking? anything that hurts me hurts my husband in this case. I cannot believe how vindictive and back stabbing they are. I liked his father but he was in on this. we have no idea how much damage was done but we know it is damaging. If we lose our son we can look at a specific moment and know why, because this is why. We have medical documentation that he gets rashes now and proof the broken ribs could have happened at my mother's house by dating of the breaks. I am still at a loss on how to deal with all this. I still feel like I am being railroaded. Worse I feel like people who should be on my side are working against me in malicious and twisted ways. How my in laws got ahold of personal emails between me and my friends made 10 years ago I have no idea but they did. I am so sick of this constant need to undermine me. My husband is furious, he is talking about never speaking to his parents again.
Posted 6/11/2009 10:42 PM (GMT 0)

I don't know your whole story, but I am sorry you are going through this on top of health problems.  Do you have any friends or family members that will testify on your behalf as to how vindictive the inlaws are being.  They could always write letters to the judge and offer to be interviewed.  I really don't understand what any emails from 10 years ago should apply to today's case.  In a world where so many children are abused or in foster care because of an adults actions, I would hope that the court would leave you alone since you have proof that he is being loved not harmed.

Best of luck.

Debbie

Posted 6/12/2009 8:04 AM (GMT 0)
unfortunately, cps views being poor as a form of abuse and thus tries their best to take kids from poor families regardless of the truth. they accussed me and my husband of abusing our son and since they can't prove it they are using insinuation and innuendo to make their case, 10 years ago I was deeply depressed and the emails reflect how I felt then. They are trying to say I am mentally unstable. I see a psychiatrist who doesn't see me as unstable but they think those emails prove otherwise. Add in the tragedy in my past and I have a tough fight on my hands as due process of law and innocent until proven guilty do not apply in civil cases which is what it is when they try and take your parental rights. all we get is a hearing before a judge who alone decides the case based on who she believes us or cps. no actual facts have to be presented at all just suspisions and they can take your kid for suspisions even when the facts prove them wrong. Any doubt at all and you lose your kids forever. doesn't matter how good a parent you are. our lawyers seem hopeful but with my mother in law working against me behind the scenes I am begining to question how hopeful I should be.
Posted 6/15/2009 3:23 AM (GMT 0)
How did the picnic go and your visit on Saturday? Hope all went well.
Posted 6/16/2009 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
The picnic went well, the sun only showed up for 20 minutes but I was using 70+SPF sunscreen and there was a pavillion to hide under.

The visit with my son was delayed due to paperwork being delayed. We will see him next weekend apparently. So lovely that they change the visit schedule and forget to send the paperwork that makes the visit okay so we aren't in violtion of their rules risking our having visitations at all. I think they want us to mess up so they can stop visitations entirely. We are being very careful about not breaking any of their rules and doing everything they as us to.

Posted 6/16/2009 4:18 AM (GMT 0)
Im sorry, about your missing his visit. I bet you miss him terribly. Hope you dont end up in a major flare.
Posted 6/16/2009 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
redrose ... that is absolutely messed up! why is it that some ppl feel the need to manipulate other ppls lives ... the one they are hurting the most is your son ... the longer they mess with the situation the longer he is kept from the ones that love him!
so hard when you have to follow all these rules as not to jeopardise anything but the system is sometimes broken.
Posted 6/18/2009 7:30 AM (GMT 0)
My psychiatrist wrote a letter that will undo most of the damage they did but still... My husband is not sure he will ever speak to them again, he is that upset over this. I think it is that his father was part of it this time. He was livid when he saw what they had done and he still isn't past so angry he doesn't answer the phone when they call. They decided to email and say they are sending him a pair of shorts and some sandals along with an outfit for our son. He said they can't buy forgiveness or his trust. I feel bad for him, at least my family has rallied around us and done what they can to support us. His family seems to be determined to find a way to end his marriage. I am still in that *** were they thinking stage. All of this was revenge because I told the police about an incident that might explain our son's broken ribs. My husband was playing with Alexander and Alexander moved really weird and my husband almost dropped him- had Alexander fallen he would have hit his head on the corner of a table- so my husband quickly tightened his grip and kept Alexander from falling. Alexander was upset but within 5 minutes of my husband brought him to me he was calm and cuddling up to me, 20 minutes after that he wanted to play again. It took my husband longer to recover. The police decided that was how Alexander got hurt and my in-laws decided they needed to make me look mentally unstable and like a liar for some reason. Unfortunately I did tell the police one lie, they kept insisting that I knew Alexander was hurt. They wouldn't accept that I didn't know and kept saying if I didn't take responsibility that I wouldn't see my son again but that if I did I would get him back, so after 2 hours of that I finally said I knew he was hurt. The truth is I am still not sure how my son got hurt, the incident I related makes the most sense but the problem is my son did not act like he was hurt, more like he was scared or made uncomfortable- kind of like when someone hugs you too hard and the discomfort ends when the hug ends. Worse, he was cutting 4 teeth during the time he got hurt so I didn't realize anything was wrong because darn it all teething babies fuss and my son didn't even fuss all that much. They have made me feel like a terrible parent. I feel like a failure, how did I miss something as serious as 5 broken ribs? My son was in pain and I didn't know it wasn't just from teething. I feel bad enough already, I don't need my in-laws trying to label me as a mental case and liar too. The stress is not good for my lupus.
Posted 6/18/2009 8:52 AM (GMT 0)
redrose ... you are not a bad parent - that is the part about kids ... things happen all the time ... all we can go on is their crying and moaning and when they are cutting teeth then everything gets fussy! but unless you have a xray machine in your living room or there is 'physical evidence' i.e. bruises, how is one to know ... parents aren't suddenly psychic!
i think the one that the in laws are hurting are the very own son ... go figure! things like that tend to backfire on ppl!
stress is a definite damaging factor but in your case telling you not to is just ridiculous ... but at least try keep it low.
breathing exercises & meditating could really benefit you.
what is your next step? another court date?
Ang
Posted 6/18/2009 6:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hunni, You need a lawyer for sure. Do you have one helping you? If you dont, I know of prepaid legal that is a set monthly fee of less than $30 a month and you can get a laywer anytime. Wish we can talk more in depth let me see if I can figure out how to message you or email etc.
Posted 6/18/2009 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. We have lawyers helping us, ironically the best lawyers money could buy for free. court happens the 29th. I am so nervous and anxious I could scream.
Posted 6/18/2009 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
Did they ever test him for any diseases?
Posted 6/19/2009 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
nope no tests have been done and we can't get them to do any. When we get him back we will look into testing.
Posted 6/19/2009 10:53 AM (GMT 0)
redrose - hang tight until your court date - you do exactly what you need to until then ... follow the (riculous) rules, play their game and just do your part best you can!
you are a kind, loving mother and show them that! they cannot argue your maternal love!

as for the in-laws - they played their cards and it will surely backfire on them! you don't need to do anything except be there for hubby and give him real love not the conditional selfish kind the his family is giving! SO SAD but rather you know what they are up to instead of having them do it and wonder where the 'blows' are coming from ... best thing for the 'nasties' of the world is LOVE! it is really hard but worth it!
***BIG HUG***
Ang
Posted 6/22/2009 4:33 AM (GMT 0)
thanks. We saw Alexander today andhe didn't want us to leave- now tell me he is abused when he cries when we leave and is so excited to see us when we arrive. Heck all he did today was go back and forth between us for hugs and kisses. He enjoys seeing us as much as we enjoy seeing him.
Posted 6/22/2009 2:06 PM (GMT 0)
redrose that is fantastic! exactly what you needed! so when things get tough you keep that picture in your head and know that this too shall pass!
hope you are enjoying your new place! Ang
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