close family member told me that lupus and my other health issues are all caused primarily by stress

I agree that stress exacerbates lupus and other health issues, however I was a bit taken aback by her claim that stress is the primary cause of my health issues (lupus, gastroparesis, autoimmune pancreatitis, RA, etc). I felt that she was saying that it was my lack of handling my stress well that caused me to develop these autoimmune disorders, and that really hit me wrong. I feel that is akin to "blaming the sick person for thier illness" (ie if only you coped better with stress you wouldn't be sick - aka: its' all your fault). I don't take that responsibility for causing my health issues. I believe that my body began attacking it's own healhty immune system and things went haywire. I don't accept blame for this and hope no one else does either. It hurts when loved ones start passing this infomation around ilke its' a documented fact.

The cause(s) of lupus are still unknown.  There is a difference between the underlying causes (a set of genes for instance) and the triggers (environmental insults, meds, other diseases, physical injuries, or stress).  Stress plays some kind of a role but for someone to say that stress "caused" your lupus.....I don't think there is any scientific evidence to support such a statement.  Check out this link for a good discussion of the subject.

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=19761

Just the subject of triggers is a difficult and much debated subject.  I suggest you read the book "The Autoimmune Epidemic" which gives a good overview of AI diseases and some clues as to what might be causing an increase in them in modern life.  You can buy it on Amazon.com.

One thing that is for certain....most people are ignorant about auto immune diseases like lupus.  I was before I got sick 5 years ago and would be happy to be ignorant of them again.

Bill

I have had people say to me "your sick because of stress", "are you depressed? "oh my favorite "are you on birth control because maybe that is why you are sick".

Some people just do not know when to stop talking. I got sick 4 years ago out of no where and for no reason. I had a rash on my face and I couldnt move my arm. I am getting closer and closer to being diagnosed with Lupus. At my last appt my Dr said I had a touch of lupus but he said since I tested positive for lymes he could not fully diagnose me. Well done with lymes treatment still sick so I am hoping finally I can have a answer after 4 years (4 years ago I was told lupus was expected but I was not sick enough to treat yet).

Sometimes it seems like being diagnosed with lupus is harder than winning the lotto lol.

Anyways back to your post just try to ignore it because people really only know how they personally feel and when someone else is sick they tend to brush it off because they do not want to think someone they know is sick, if that makes sense.

Mikah, I know just how you feel and I'm so sorry for the pain such careless statements can wreak. My husband's always telling me to "take it easy" and to limit my stress, and yet he offers no helpful suggestions as to how I should get from point A to point B. Life, kids, money, illness - it's all stressful. I do know that stress contributes greatly to how I'm feeling, but it's not the medical cause of my lupus nor my RA or Fibro. What really drives me crazy is that he doesn't want me to verbally acknowledge how I'm feeling - Because speaking aloud makes it so. He prays daily for a total healing, but he refuses to acknowledge that the All Powerful God he wants to work a miracle for me is the same God who decided I'm one of the chosen who has to cope with chronic illness and pain. I do believe in God and miracles. But in the interim, sometimes I just want to vent: I'm in pain, I'm tired and I'm frustrated, sad, angry, lonely....etc!
I think one of the hardest things for me is that I've always been the "smart" one and I'm expected to do the research and teach others in my life what's going on with me. Sometimes I just can't do that effectively. Sometimes I just want answers, even though I'm not sharp enough to think of and ask and the proper questions from the right sources.
I hope you can stand up for yourself and let your family & friends know that their proclamations are hurtful and counterproductive. You need their support, not their judgement.

"it's super sad when people really need a strong cup of........shut the hell up."

HEAR HEAR!