Hi! Gretchen,
I know what it's like to want another child. And your reasons, whatever they are, are yours alone and NO one, husband or not, can judge the risks any better than you. I knew that if I got pregnant, I would at least have a chance at having another baby, and if I didn't, no chance at all. After my son died inutero, I wanted to die, too. I was determined to have another baby no matter what God said. And, I have alot of regrets about what I put my family through. I have two, beautiful and healthy daughters, after they were born, I had a stillborn son because of a strep b infection, and then 5 9 week miscarriages due to antiphospholipid antibody syndrome that wasn't diagnosed until my last miscarriage. My APS was the clue that led to my dx. of lupus. When I saw my rheumy, I asked specifically about the risk to my daughters getting an autoimmune illness. He told me there was a 3-5% increased chance they could develop lupus. There is a genetic connection. But my side of the family is significant for ankylosing spondylitis, brother, Grave's disease, mother, sarcoidosis, 1st cousin, and Hashimoto's. So my genetics and where we live, predispose me from square one. But, both my girls were exclusively breastfed, for a full 14 months, never even had cow's milk in their cereal until they weaned themselves to a sippy cup and whole milk at 12 -14 months, and the doc said that would be a protection in itself. I think there are alot of other diseases that might be more of a risk. If you really think about all the reasons babies are born damaged, ie, drinking alcohol before you even know you are pregnant...... fetal alcohol syndrome, it is a miracle ANY baby is born healthy anymore. Being as healthy as possible, with lots of good nutrition before you even try and conceive, would balance out the risk. Ask your rheumy for a referral to an OB with lots of experience with autoimmune illness, and talk to her, maybe your husband would feel less worried and afraid armed with facts. God bless and good luck
suetoo