Lupus for men is the same as lupus for women excpet there are a lot fewer of us. I have had it for 7 years and eventually got it under control and have been without a flare for 6 years. Most cases of lupus do have a chronic nature but most patients will eventually find a controlling med and return to a normal life. If your case is severe you might have to define a new normal for yourself and move on from that reference point.
Your focus should be on dealing with your doctor and finding a treatment that will control the disease. It might also be beneficial to get a second opinion but make sure the doctor/clinic is experienced with AI diseases. Lupus is not a death sentence and many eventually return to a normal and productive life. Some will struggle with the disease forever but more is known today about how to control lupus and last year the first new drug approved for lupus, benlysta, came out and has helped.
It is important to be optimistic about your situation but focus on getting proper treatment. I had a severe case of lupus as well as polymyositis which left me a quadriplegic and could not swallow. Lupus hit my joints, kidneys, liver, GI tract and cognitively. I was really a mess but today I am active and work a little (I am almost 70 and been retired for a long time) and enjoy things like downhill skiing, golf, and hiking again. Like I said, these diseases are not an automatic death sentence and can often be dealt with successfully.
Hang in there and don't project the future.
Bill