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Posted 12/14/2007 8:03 AM (GMT 0)
so this has been an underlying problem for me and the relationship with my boyfriend and i think its time i address it and maybe get some help and advice...

my boyfriend and i have been together since before i was diagnosed with lupus and he was there for me throughout my whole ordeal and visited me every day in the hospital for over two months...we love each other etc etc....

i guess its been ever since i have been diagnosed i have been more moody and sensitive than ever...sometimes i cry over small things, get upset, whine etc. i know its not the way i SHOULD act but i literally cant help it. i used to be pretty laid back, but it seems like now i am trying to control him, and i hate being away from him etc. either way i dont think it is so healthy for me to be so attached to a person that i throw a fit when i dont get my way or if he doesnt want to spend 23 hours of the day together.

is there some sort of medication i should be on?? i take 20 mgs of celexa daily and i have xanax for immediate anxiety but im afraid of building a tolerance and dependance on xanax or any other mood altering drug like it....

should i ask my doctor about other depression medications? (depression is such a daunting word...)
i just dont know what to do and sometimes i feel bad that my boyfriend has to put up with my erratic behavior...i dont know if this makes sense or not but i just wish i didnt care so much...

large issues and what this disease has done to my body doesnt seem to phase me such as blood clots, kidney failure etc but perhaps i am projecting it into smaller facets of my life and taking it out on my poor boyfriend?? lol

either way, if anyone can relate i would love to hear from you and any advice from anyone would be much appreciated!!
Posted 12/14/2007 12:25 PM (GMT 0)
I'm not a therapist, but I have been to one and the right one can help you try to figure out your emotions. Having friends to help you are beneficial, but a therapist that is not involved in your life can be very beneficial. Just my 2 cents...
Posted 12/14/2007 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
You might want to mention all these mood swings to your rheumy -- there are several of our commonly used meds that have these kinds of side effects. It is also a well-known fact that either lupus or our meds actually does cause changes in brain chemistry that can result in depression as well as moodiness. There is certainly NO stigma attached to treating depression appropriately, esp. when it is medically induced! I once took some meds for a bad bladder infection that made me psychotic!!! Thankfully only had to take them 5 days, or I would have been in the nuthouse. Hang in there,
Posted 12/14/2007 3:58 PM (GMT 0)
You are not alone, at all.. either medications, the lupus, or just the fact that you have to deal with having a very chronic illness can cause you to be moody. I have an AMAZING family, that take care of me and do help me with whatever I need, but I have my fits at times. I seem to just get so fed up.. and yell, and scream, and say things that of course I don't mean. After I calm down, of course I apologize, but I can't control it either. Sometimes things get to be so bad that you just can't control it, you might want to see a therapist like someone else suggested, I have seen one and it helps a bit.. but I still have my fits. Sometimes I just realize everything that's going on.. and I cry, and cry. Also, if you're on prednisone it's been known to cause a lot mood swings. When I was on up to 70 mg because of a bad flare, and had shots of cortisone I went insane. I hope you find something that helps for you!
Posted 12/14/2007 4:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi misscali,

I believe that depression and mood swings are a pretty normal reaction to a chronic disease. I have periods of depression and am on cymbalta, which does help, but when things become overwhelming I see a wonderful therapist.

The others are right that this is something you should mention to your doctors. They may be able to recommend a good therapist if you don't know one. It's a good sign that you posted about this because it's something you shouldn't have to go through alone. Let us know how you're doing. I'll be checking in more often.

Love,

Pat
Posted 12/14/2007 4:38 PM (GMT 0)
i had the same problems you do, even before i met my hubby. In the beginning when i was first diagnosed i would have ups and downs and my doc said a lot of it had to do with the prednisone ( i'm not sure what meds your on). And now since my kidney transplant, after having another flare in march it really took my emotions on a tailspin, especially since the docs said it was a possibility that with the new kidney i may be in the clear with flares and then i flared so now my new kidney is damanged, and now my doc put me on celexa and i am seeing a therapist. She helps me sort out my emotions and sometimes just sits there and just lets me vent, it feels good cuz its a third party that is not emotionally involved in your life so you can pretty much say anything without worrying about saying the wrong thing or hurting someone's feelings. I still have my days when i just feel like i want to stay in bed a sleep a bad day away. And about the controling thing, i do that to, fortunately for me my hubby doesnt mind, if i go overboard he just lets me know and try to back off. I think a lot of that, for me anyway, is because i cant control my lupus and my body, so i go overboard controlling other aspects of my life. i'm sure that sounds crazy, well that could just be another topic i talk to my therapist about. i hope some of this can help.
Posted 12/14/2007 8:19 PM (GMT 0)
hey everyone...its good that im not alone in this :)
this is my list of meds:
prednisone (6mg), celexa, lisinopril, lipitor, cellcept, ferrous gluconate, osti-cal, micro-k, protonix, vitamin d, fosamax, warfarin...i think thats it

now i know prednisone can kinda of make people emotional but i figured im on such a low dose that it wouldnt affect me as much but it seems like i am more emotional than ever...could it be caused by some other medication that i am on?

i will definitely let my rheumy know about all of my symptoms...
Posted 12/14/2007 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
How much cellcept are you on? One of the side-effects from that medicine is anxiety, but before I started taking all these medications and I was even diagnosed, I was extremly moody as well. Like everyone said, and I said before.. just the stress from dealing with such a chronic illness will drive you nuts at times. I actually broke up with my fiance' of almost 2 years, a little bit ago because he couldn't stand my ups and down, and the fact that apparently I take so much work... I'm with everyone else, like I said seeing a therapist really does help sometimes.
Posted 12/14/2007 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Misscali,

 

Yeah, you're on a pretty low dose of pred.  Lucky you!!!  Lupus itself can cause changes in our brain chemistry.  Depression, mood swings, etc, are very common issues that we deal with.  Also, just trying to "live" with lupus can certainly make us very unhappy and moody, can't it!  You're not alone as you have been reading! 

 

I was on paxil for a number of years early in my diagnosis.  I found that after a while, it wasn't working for me.  I actually had more depression because of it.  So I was tapered off of it.  I've never felt better!

 

But that's not to say that an SSRI class of med wouldn't work for you.  I agree with the others in that you should mention this to your rheumy, and maybe she/he can refer you to a therapist of some sort.  I've been seeing one for my anxiety (fibro induced), and I'm so glad to have her in my life!  She keeps me "level", lol!

 

I don't think it's your other meds, but more of the disease process and the new lifestyle you have to become used to.  You'll be okay.

((((hugs))))

 

Ginny

Posted 12/14/2007 10:02 PM (GMT 0)
i take 1250 mg of cellcept twice a day...i am not sure if that is a high dose or not or if thats what could be causing my anxiety and mood swings...
Posted 12/15/2007 5:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Misscali,

I begin to get nuts and paranoid, totally unreasonable, insomnia hits like a semi, and nobody (and I mean NOBODY) can stand to be around me when i take 5mg of prednisone. Oh, yeah, as I increase to 7.5 and then 10 I actually outgrow all of my clothes--totally all, even sweats! It's so bad that I and my family will not ALLOW me to take it anymore. The extreme side effects out weigh the benefits. I felt so much better at 7.5, but that is when the bad stuff all started.

I agree with the others. It is not abnormal to go through what you are. It's good that you recognize it. Maybe you would do better on a different anti-depressant. It's not uncommon for people to need to try more than one to find the right fit. A good therapist that you are comfortable with is also great! In fact, I take an antidepressant (it's not just one that acts on the seratonin, but of course I can't remember what it actually does--the name is effexor XR--you can look it up) but I had tried 2 before I hit on the effexor. It really helps me. I also saw a therapist, but she was not the right one for me. I am now looking for another.

Don't give up! Try and let your BF know that you are not alone in this and that many others have/are struggling with the same issues. In fact, let him read this thread. You'll figure it out. Good luck.

emmie
Posted 12/15/2007 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi hun, I agree with emmie, let your boyfriend read this thread. Maybe he doesn't even feel the way you think he feels. Maybe he understands more than you think. This disease alone can cause anxiety and stress and depression even without the meds. It's always good to talk about what you are feeling. That's one of the things that is great about this group. We all understand. Coming to terms with a chronic illness is a very difficult thing to do. Don't be so hard on yourself. Perhaps if you tak to your boyfriend, let him know you are aware of your actions and maybe the two of you together can come up with some ideas about what to do. The worse thing to do is not to talk to him. Also you can't always tell by what others reaction to a med will do to you. we are all different. If I take 20 mg. of pred. I put a sign on my door that says enter at your own risk. Try to stay possitive get some counseling from a professional that deals with chronic illness they may have some good insight on what you can do. In the mean time stop beating yourself up and remember we love ya
carol
Posted 12/15/2007 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
thanks for the reassurance guys, this forum really helps because everyone here totally understands.
i think my boyfriend understands too...i mean he knows i have mood swings and in fact he reminds me of it when i am acting "crazy" he is the one that suggested i should see a therapist because he thinks everything i have been through might be building up and causing my erratic behavior...

does anyone know anything about zoloft and whether or not it has worked for them? my boyfriend suffers from anxiety and his psychiatrist just started him on it...i dont know how it would work for me though and i was just wondering if anyone has had any good or bad experiences with it

:)
Posted 12/15/2007 11:42 PM (GMT 0)

I think all the drugs work differently on dfferent people. I use effexor and it seems to help me but others say they never had any luck with it. I've heard of others taking prozac but I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole. I think it will be a trial an error thing. but than again what else is new with this lousey disease. I'm glad your sweetie is understanding about this. give him a huge hug from me please.

hugs

carol

Posted 12/18/2007 5:27 PM (GMT 0)
It could be the prednisone, even a small dose. I had mood swings like that when I was on 5mg/day back in the spring. I'm off it now and feeling good, but everyone's body reacts differently to medication. And we all have different cycles of flares with lupus as well. It would be a good idea to se your rheumy. Also, if you're up to it, try to get together with other friends or different activities. (volunteer groups, spiritual/church, hobbies). It can be hard on a significant other to feel so needed and to feel that someone is that dependent on you.

Hugs to you. :)
Posted 12/20/2007 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
Misscali, it takes a special kind of partner to handle the ups and downs of lupus or any chronic disease for that matter. I hope that you can get some help from your doctor.
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