Just take a xanax

There's a new girl at church that has decided I'm suppose to be her new best friend. about two weeks ago she called twice within 5 days and both times I was taking a nap. You guys know how it is, sometimes you just don't have time or just don't feel like talking on the phone. Sunday comes she doesn't show up at church. I called Sunday afternoon to make sure everything was okay, there was no answer. Three more times I called and left messages on her answering machine. Today I get a phone call from her and she says she's very hurt because I haven't called her back and she had called here numerous times. Well, caller ID didn't show numerous times but fine I won't get picky. She proceeding to *itch me out because I haven't called her back. When I could get a word in edgewise I told her that with lupus there are times when I can't even get out of bed. I was honestly speechless when she told me to just take a xanax. ?????????????? I repeated what she said to me ... Just take a xanax??? At that point my husband looks up at me and says uh oh ... I couldn't believe it. I have never been told to just take a xanax! I made excuses and got off the phone with her. The more I thought about it the more upset I got so I ended up calling her back and for the next 30 minutes explained to her what lupus was, how it made us feel, the problems it caused and then read her The Spoon Theory. She was still upset because I hadn't called her back and how she cried over it, etc ... It was at that point my sister-in-law rang my doorbell and gave me an excuse to get off the phone. I tried my best to explain it to her, and I thought well The Spoon Theory will sink in, but nothing did.

I could go on but I just needed to vent a little ... I know you guys understand.

I would STAY AWAY like the plague! It sounds like she has problems that you definitely don't need in your life and she would never be a true friend. Friends give and take and they understand when you are not well. One thing I have learned since being diagnosed with a chronic illness: life is too darn short to not surround yourself with people who love you!

I vote for putting *her* on the Xanax!

wow, that is not someone i would call a friend. all the friends that i have and its not a lot because that is how i choose it to be, but they know that sometimes it will take me some time to call or hang out when i dont feel well, and all they tell me is that if i need anything that all i have to do is let them know. and a lot of times i do decide on whether to be friends with someone by how they react to me telling them that i have lupus because it's a major part of my life and if they cant be understanding when i dont feel good then i dont need their "friendship". sorry you had such a bad experience and as for taking a xanax i would ( and i am sure most of us would) love to just pop a pill and make this awful disease go away, unforunately that is not how it works and only our true friends know that.

Hi Gidget, your right she needs to go. She sounds like she has issues. Speak to your astor tell him to counsel her. You don't need this. I'm with Lynnwood I think you should send her a couple a xanax.
hugs
carol

Gidget, you have received great advice! I hope you can successfully avoid this person. She actually sounds dangerous. Is she still calling your mother-in-law?

Gidget, The story you described in the initial post is similar to a situation I had with my sister.  I can relate 100% & sympathize with what you are feeling.  Unfortunately, I had to cut off all ties with my sister ... it's tough for us Lupies to deal with emotional folks that are also selfish & inconsiderate.  This is when you need to be selfish to your health & do what is best for you --- leave the so called 'friend' behind.  Hope this helps!