Bad news and a vent

My blood sugar was a little high on the 1 hour test. I had so much trouble keeping the glucose drink down even with an anti-nausea pill the regular OB said he just wants me to test my blood sugar twice a day. I see the high risk specialist Wednesday and that means he will gloat but also that he will do to me what he does to other women- force a 3 hour test and when I puke make me keep trying again until I hold it down. If I refuse he will cut off all my prenatal care. He will also do another cervical exam and I am still bruised inside from the last one. He hates women, I know he does because he takes sadistic pleasure in verbally abusing and casuing physical pain. The regular OB's nurse said none of the high risk women like him- that everyone who is forced to see him hates it. I just want to hide. I can't stop crying because I only know part of how he will use this to punish me for daring to be female, let alone daring to want a child. I am afraid he will insist I have the baby now. I know how bad that would be but he seems to think that making a woman have her baby early and making it have all the inherent problems of prematurity is not only okay but is to be encouraged as a method of punishing a woman for trying to have a baby when there was a chance of complications. The man is evil and sadistic. I don't know what I will do about prenatal care if he tries to say I have to be induced now. I know I won't let him, but when I refuse I will lose access to my regular OB thanks to hospital policy. The only other hospital in the area close enough has a really bad record and cannot be trusted with anyone's life. I am very afraid for my baby. This man would purposely do something that would irreversably harm my child if he thought he could get away with it. I cannot stand him, yet I am supposed to allow him to abuse me or face having no doctor for the rest of the pregnancy. I tried to get to see someone else in his practice. It worked once, the next time he saw me I suffered greatly for having asked not to see him. All I want is to not have to see him. It is too upsetting. It is too stressful, and the truth is I am afraid of him. My husband refuses to leave me alone with him, which makes him angry from the word go but we both get the feeling it would be worse if hubby weren't there. The one time I tried to stand up to him he threatened me with a lack of prenatal care. Saying I was welcome to try and find an OB to handle my case but it wouldn't be at his hospital. Which translates do what I want and take eveything I dish out or you can go without a doctor your entire pregnancy unless you want to drive a few hours for prenatal visits.

I am sorry to go on like this but I am so afraid of Wednesday. I hate feeling helpless and afraid just because I have to see the doctor. When this pregnancy is over I am filing a complaint.

The few ratings I have found on this man are all bad. But there are not that many. It seems his patients do not like him but are afraid of reporting him. I am filing my complaint with the hospital he works with, as the medical board can do nothing about his behavior.

My regular OB office knows that none of the women he sees like him and all are extremely upset by seeing him but since he heads the high risk department at their hospital they have no choice but to send high risk moms to him as hospital policy dictates. His nurses do what he says. He treated a student doctor doing a rotation in his office who was female and has lupus herself like she was trash and did not deserve his time. Unfortunately recording appointments without his consent is a violation of his office policy and could cost me prenatal are. I think if he pushes his luck again and upsets me my husband may just tear him apart. I will call the regular OB's nurses tomorrow and see if anything can be done on their end to see to it I never see him again. I am just so glad he doesn't deliver babies. He actually said there was no cause for a c-section if this baby reaches 8lbs despite the amount of damage done last time I was forced to deliver a baby that big vaginally- it took over an hour and a half of work to stitch me back together and I nearly ended up using a bag for BMs for the rest of my life. I do fine with 6-7lbs babies. My pelvic bones are narrow and I am afraid with the arthritis they may not be as flexible as they once were. I hate this man.

I actually like two of the other doctors in his office but he refuses to let me see them. The AMA can't really do anything about bad doctors. I believe if enough women he has mistreated told the hospital then he might be fired. So I will file a complaint. I dread the cervical exam he will insist on doing.

I am hoping that this is my last visit since none of the problems I am having justifies his office even being involved. I have early pre-eclampsia- something every OB knows how to handle and my blood sugar was a little high but I am likely not gestationally diabetic- if I could do the 3 hour test they said there is a 75% chance it would be normal given the actual numbers. I have not had preterm labor nor has my lupus flared. Furthermore, my heart is fine. Which means that I am having run of the mill pregnancy problems not ones that require the highest level in high risk OB care (MFM specialists are the ones you see for the worst level of high risk). If I could find a perinatologist I would consider switching.

My husband said if he doesn't leave me and the baby be he is going to have words with the man. Hubby is feeling extremely protective because of how this guy acts, how I feel about all this, and what we have experienced in the past. Since our insurance is footing the $300+ per visit fee for this man to be like he is I will also likely alert my insurance company to his behavior. I am still hoping I will luck out and see one of the other doctors. They would likely say unless something happens no need to see their office again.