How did you know....

it was time to quit your job?

Did you experience fatigue so badly that you just couldn't do it anymore or other symptoms that interfered with your daily life (i.e brain fog, etc)?

Oh Stacie,

 

This is such an important topic. I hope everyone reads it.

 

I'm dealing with this right now.  I knew I had to make a major shift when my flare ups kept happening over and over again, and when the joint pain and arthritis became too much. Oh and the fatigue.  It's horrible.  This has all hit the fan in the last 4 months for me.  I've had 4 flare ups since the end of April, which is very unlike me.  And the pain I'm having is completely hampering my ability to do my job, which is a high energy wedding and portrait photographer.  My business is getting downsized 75%. I can't keep up with it anymore. My body is done.

 

I made the decision to change things for next season because I'm watching my body completely rebel against my schedule. I need to still be here for my family, husband, my little nephew. If I keep up this pace, I won't be here very long.  That's how I see it. I have to be realistic and not naive about what lupus can do to me.  It can kill me. I don't have a choice.  The job has to change.

 

It's a very stressful decision to make. I can understand that entirely. What are you feeling right now?  Are you feeling like this is something you need to do asap?  Can you go part time, give that a shot and go from there?

We need to live for the present, and plan for the future. I try to live by that mantra. I've had a hard time in the past, doing that.  But now, I can't wait for it to happen. 

(((hugs)))

Ginny 

Hi Stacie,

 

You know, that's how I feel too.  Everything goes great for months and then whamo, the busy schedule, stresses, etc, build up to the point that they overflow.  You have a tremendous amount of pressure on you to hold the health insurance.  That in itself would give you enough worry and stress to make you sick.  You can't be without that insurance.  The blow to the the wallet I understand.  It's going to happen with me too.  We just bought a house in May where the mortgage is $700 more a month than our previous house.  It's going to be really tight for us too. 

 

I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons.  The pros being that you will probably be healthier and happier and more available to your family. The cons are the financial pressures.  It sure wouldn't hurt to ask your boss about cutting your hours. 

 

This is a hard lifestyle change to make isn't it.  I'll be praying for you Stacie,

 

Ginny

 

 

I too should have resigned sooner. It is just so scarey and heartbreaking. As a school nurse, I was constantly catching infections that were reeking havok! The fatigue became a major factor and cerebritis! It is a hard decision and a scarey one. You will be in my prayers. God Bless YOU, Judy

(((((Stacie))))), you are in even a tougher situation since you carry the insurance for the family. I am so thankful that my husband's workplace has a really good plan. Wow, I can't believe how much the insurance is if your husband carries it and it really stinks that a lot of small businesses seem to get burdened with things like that. I think the decision to quit a job is one of the toughest ones to make - I tortured myself for a long time about it and it was heartbreaking to turn in my resignation. I cried and my boss cried and I had lots of tears on my last day, but like I said, I had just hit my breaking point. My thoughts will be with you through all of this. I think it's a good idea to track things and take it to your rheumy. Hang in there and know we are here for you.

Thank you Hippi & Jenny,

I knew taking the responsibility of health insurance was a tough load to carry but I felt it would be ok. My office is a small setting (but with a big Corp) with wonderful understanding people, I love it but with every job there comes some sort of stress, it's not that bad I just can't figure out why I can't seem to have more good days than bad.

Thank you all for your advise and support, it really means a lot to me. ((( hugs )))

Stacie--
I quit the first time being told I had a year to live. I had just finished grad school and was having trouble getting a good job, so I was doing freelance work. I went bonkers and got very ill on interferon so it was a good thing. But even before the interferon, I felt my illness welling up in me like a wave about to break and I just felt it was too much to handle, especially if anything else went wrong, which it ended up happening. But I did re-educate myself while ill, playing on the computer and got a second wind after interferon therapy. I buckled down, believed that my illness was behind me and took antidepressants and antianxiety drugs which made me "tougher" and took other meds for pain, IBS and such. Working on the computer, first doing instruction manuals and then programming minimized my interaction with a lot of people. Also, programmers are notoriously eccentric and generally were able to have a lot of flex time and I had very "cool" bosses, so I was able to keep working and even get raises and promotions despite periods of illness. Finally, after accumulating a bunch of new medical problems and finding that my liver could no longer tolerate meds and mentally, even on the meds, I was pretty much ready for a breakdown, I took a leave. I got meningitis and just finally said "no more, I just can't do it". Work had become fatiguing and painful.

The reeducation I did on my own at home I was really proud of. It enabled me to up my income before applying again for disability and gave me some feeling of usefulness. But it only worked when I had long periods of remission. I was sick with something major about four times a year. Any more than that and my boss would've start questioning whether I could handle working there.

I pretty much worked the second time until I had a nervous breakdown and I strongly recommend against that. I think just taking antideppressants and antianxiety and pain meds and such and pushing myself was very detrimental in that I didn't get any health problems solved or investigated during that time and ran myself into exhaustion. But sometimes you have to--I was a single mom and had not paid in to disability.

Fiddling around at home, maybe writing or something can definitely fill the void and uselessness feeling. I don't know if this helps, but I just know what I did and what not to do. I really suffered from that nervous breakdown and wearing myself out. Actually, that's how I got really sick in the first place when they gave me a year to live.

Hi Stacie,I'm sorry you have to deal with this stuff. Wouldn't it be great to be independently wealthy actually my story is the exact opposite but it might help a little. I was living off of a pension from the V.A. Needless to say it wasn't a lot. I wanted to get a job. So I contemplated it. The truth was that if I applied for a job the honest truth would be that I would never know until I woke up in the morning if I was going to feel up to getting out of bed let alone going to work. I thought what kind of employer would hire somone who couldn't say if they would be to sick on a day to day basis. Plus I would be so worried every day that I wouldn't be up to the task that the stress would be terrible. So I still hope that some day I can get a job. If I go into remission or they find a cure or somthing. Never is a long time. So just for now I'm staying put. Fortunately I am on SSD now and that has releived a lot of the financial problems. I'm staying at my bros to get rid of some bills that are bogging me down but next month I make a final payment on one and then I have more to chip away on the others. I am hoping within 6 months I'll be on my way to being ou of debt. This living situation isn't the greatest but it isn't the worst either. I guess I only tell you that  because I want you to realize that yes it is a big step but if you can get SSD you can get on medicaid of course it doesn't cover all the family but your kids will also get a check from disability that would cover insurance. There is always a way.

Be good to yourself

love ya

carol