Dearest Alex, I know you'll find comfort on this forum. You aren't alone. It was extremely difficult to adjust to the new lifestyle lupus dropped on me. Like many here on the forum I had a family, a great job and exercised regularly. I initially developed depression, then fatigue, vertigo, falls, loss of sensation and pain. It took 2 years for a lupus diagnosis and during that time, docs said I my symptoms were somatic (in my head). I was extremely depressed (suicidal) and ate for comfort, telling myself that I'd lose the weight when I felt better. I am still 50 pounds overweight. I'm lucky because I lost all the hair on my body, but still have hair on my head. I take 13 different meds a day. I still take anti-depressants and always will to keep the suicidal beast at bay. So if you're still reading this, please give yourself time to grieve over your lost life. I cried for many months. You really are going through a grieving process. I know telling you about
my problems isn't uplifting, but I want you to know that you don't need to apologize for who you are. Being a lupie is tough, but we are here for you. Love, Butterflake