Vicious Circle

Hey everyone,

I seem to only post when in dispair sorry about that!

Ok so have sjogren's and poss. Lupus, chronic back pain(degen. disc disease).

I am so frustrated with my body I used to be able to do so much and now I am exausted after I do the dishes. I stopped working a little over a year ago. I feel like a burden. I feel like one day my Husband is going to realize that it is just not worth it. I am 31yrs old and feel 98yrs old. If this is how the rest of my life will be I would want out. So I would expect others to not want to be around the exausted lump on the couch.

I have seen Psych. and I have tried every antidepressant there is and I can only take a low dose of prozac. (long boring story just believe me I have tried it all) My psych says the only thing to do at this point is eletro shock :0 but he says I will loss some memory such as all memory from 3 mths before procedure. I don't want to loss any memory I have trouble now remembering my name somedays like I need any help in that area.

So I am in this vicious circle of depression caused by autoimmune disease, then depression making autoimmune disease worse and so on and so on.

 I need to get into a support group I live in the Dallas/Plano Texas area any advice on where I should look?

Thanks for letting me vent,

Kasey

Kasey,

We're a support group, but we just don't have to clean up, dress, drive to go to our group. No matter how bad you feel, we're here. There's also a chat room associated with the forum, and although I don't participate, I know that some do. I'm tired and flaring tonight so won't make this too long, but let me make a couple of suggestions. The first thing I did was to find a good therapist. She has been so much help to me in processing my condition, and in helping me manage my illness. When I flare we go back and try to see what I could have done to better take care of myself over the past week or two. Even when I want to talk about other issues in my life, she pulls in the reigns till we go over what's gone on with my health that week. She has helped me give up lots of my perfectionistic expectations about myself and my life. I'm a work in progress, as we all are, and we've been at this for a few years, but dear friend, don't give up. I can live the rest of my life this way and still be happy to be here, but I haven't done it in a vacuum.

Let us help you. And we can start be telling you not to beat yourself up for posting only when you're feeling despair. There is such a great group of folks here who understands, as well as anyone can, what you're going through, and that's why we don't have to apologize to each other.

Someone here will be able to advise you how to find a local support group. I'd start with the Lupus Foundation of America website and go from there, or simply google Lupus Support Group in Dallas/Plano Texas. Just don't forget that we're here for you too.

(((Hugs)))

Pat

Hi Kasey,

 

Oh girl, your description of how you're feeling is exactly how I have felt off and on during this past decade. You are not alone in how you feel.  That vicious circle of ups and downs is so common. Those feelings of being a burden are hard to free yourself from. I understand. I feel that way too sometimes. I think the frustration of it all is the worst.  Like I have a big bully inside me and it won't let up.... ((((((hugs for you)))))))

 

I know you've tried a pile of anti -d's, but have you tried Zoloft?  I can't take Paxil or Prozac, so when my doctor mentioned Zoloft I was suspicious.  Another SSRI.  EEK!!!  But it's the "tame poodle" of the SSRI group of meds.  Paxil and Prozac are the "rabbid pitbulls".  I'm doing fantastic on the Zoloft!!  I'm on only 100mg of it and it's working great!  Just thought I'd put that out there for ya.

 

I hope you find a support group in the area where you live, but like the other gals have mentioned, we're here for you too. 

 

Blessings,

Ginny

 

 

I feel so bad for you...
Wish you all the best... you are so young to have all this stuff....
I sure hope you can begin to feel better soon...

I don't have a lot to add either Knbc95.  i was unable to find a support group in this area. Even google gave me nothing much, I did find this one woman in my area, on Myspace, who has lupus.

But as someone already said, this forum is a support group for us.  Might even be better than if we were physically in each other's  house or an office.

I take Doxepin as some others here.  I take 200 mg of Doxepin daily.  it helps me to sleep most of the time, but sometimes nothing helps me to sleep.  In the really good days, when pain and sickness is minimal, and motivation is high, sleep defies me.

I tend to still believe that Lupus has an effect on our brains.  I think physically Lupus affects us and causes depression.  severe depression in my case.  Bill had a real good reponse for us a few weeks ago, about how Lupus affecting our brains, mind, thinking, etc.

Hope your day will be good to you as you go through your daily routines

Hester

Peacesoul

How are you?  What did you do to keep the home and friends?   your car and home, do you still have it?  you maybe have more strength than you realize.

Can you share what you did to keep you to this place that you are today?  Other people's stories seem to help me a lot.  It is good to know that I am not in his boat all by myself.  any time you need to speak to us, we can be there for you.   and my email address will be available if you wish to send me an email.

I don't do well on the phone.  do not not talk well on the phone, and I can no longer sit long enough to talk on the phone.

Hope this day will be better for you

Hester

Hey Bill Kasey,

Just treating depression is only treating the symptoms, not the cause. 

No wiser words have ever been said according to me.  I think I have truly been misdiagnosed sometimes in depression, and never treated the real problem.  I could be wrong of course.  I am trying to get my rheumy to do an MRI to see if I have more white matter than I had in 2000, when the first stroke happened to me.  If I do have more white matter, (lesions on my brain) than symptoms of depression could have been increased because of this white matter.  I am just guessing of course, but I definitely believe that Lupus causes the depression.  There may be hundreds of people with depression that could be caused by Lupus.

It is my findings that many people presented themselves to thier doctor, like me, who had a host of symptoms.  One of those symptoms was/is depression.  It is my understanding that some people have a host of symptoms and a good doctor could see that the person could have Lupus, so they get tested.  But I would bet that most go undiagnosed for Lupus, and do not get treated for Lupus.

I apologize Kayse that I seemed to have gotten my words lost again in my post to you.  Rereading my post to you, I could see my mistakes.  I try to reread them again, but messed up somehow.  I am guessing that maybe Lupus caused this last stroke.  I could be wrong.  but my echocardiogram heart was good, and my corotid (spelling) arteries were good, so what caused it?  Do I need to get prednisone again?  don't know.  I certainly do not wish to weigh over 200 pounds again, but I would like more relief, especially from depression.  but maybe the damage has already done by my brain, and I couldn't get relief anyway.

Here I go again.  Still wanting to vent, still wanting to list my own pain and problems. 

Hope the day finds you in good spirits Kayse.

Hester