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Employment discrimination ... not going well

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Posted 12/19/2007 1:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all,   The past 3 months I've been battling discrimination with my employer --- they are demanding I work overtime, so I took FMLA to recover from a flare-up & now I'm close to being terminated.  I've got an attorney ... but the employer is still dead set on the fact that they are right & ignoring 'reasonable accommodations' under ADA .  I know if I return to work, I will be treated differently and/or criticized for sub-par work performance.  I am confident that my attorney is handling the situation well but, at the same time, hoping this doesn't turn into a lawsuit.    Recently I've seen significant changes in my health with reference to Lupus - all of which my Rheumy is aware of.  I'm unsure of how to transition my lifestyle to accommodate these changes.  I've been very successful thus far career wise - was in the process of getting CPA certified --- that's when everything came tumbling down.  I do feel like a failure these days - how does the family view me?  the most successful one of the family falling apart?  going from making 50K a year to nothing?  How do others out there balance work, finances, medical insurance, meds & rest at the same time?  I feel like I'm a juggler that has dropped everything & doesn't know how to pick up the pieces & keep going.    I know others can relate to this ... thanks in advance for reading.
Posted 12/19/2007 7:38 PM (GMT 0)

I'm sorry Jenny, I swear some employers think they can get away with everything. It sounds like you may need to think sbout disability. Try telling your rheumy what you boss is doing and see if he can write a letter or help yo get some kid of assistance. I know it won't be anything like 50,000 dollars but you have to do somthing.

I'm finding myself feeling the same way. I think I'm 50 years old and I look at what everyone in myfamily is doing. They are all successful and can pretty much do what ever they want. Than here I am trying to get on food stamps and medicaid. It's just not fair. In fact it's down right depressing. I've asked myself is this it? is this all I got to loook forward to? It sucks!

hugs

carol

Posted 12/19/2007 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
Carol, Thanks for your encouraging words. I was denied for disability - I'm not technically disabled, just unable to meet my employer's demands. Luckily, my hubby is working & can take care of us. I'm just not one to rely on another person 100% for support. I know my hubby would take care of me, but I too want to contribute to the household too. Make sense?
Posted 12/19/2007 8:20 PM (GMT 0)
Jenny,

The modern workplace is not always fair...or legal.  Unfortunately, that is a lousy fact of life. 

Your first "job" should be to take care of your health and stabilize your lupus.  You might consider doing something else where you can work part time or even work at home to relieve the physical demands and stress of working and commuting.  I have MCTD (lupus, scleroderma and polymyositis) and PM totally crippled me so I did not have a choice about working and had to rely on my wife to continue working (we are both past retirement age).  Fortunately I was able to get SSDI and will be on SS soon which has allowed me to work on rehabilitating.  My problems were under control but PM took 40 lbs of muscle and left me totally crippled. 

2 years later I have returned to independence and feel normal and can work a little.  Having a chronic or serious disease changes our life and our relationships and each of must adapt in the best possible way.  My way was to work on rehabiliation and try to return to normal.  It has helped me and my wife is like a new person now that I am "back."

Sorry you are having these problems but some battles are not worth fighting when there is a more important one to fight.

Bill

Posted 12/19/2007 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
Jenny, I'm really sorry you are going through this and that your employer is not being at all supportive in working with you to make things more manageable at work. I can really relate to what you are going through as far as possibly leaving your job and not contributing financially. I had a good professional job before I got sick - a job that I had to go to graduate school to get. I stayed at my job part time for about 3 years after I got sick and it just became a real struggle for me. I wrestled for a long time about quitting and finally decided I needed to for my sake and the sake of my family. It was to the point where I had nothing left for my kids and husband and any time off I had I spent resting so I could go back to work. Looking back, quitting was one of the best things I did for myself and my family. I still miss what I did for my job, but I don't miss how sick I felt when I was working. I feel really fortunate that my husband makes enough money to take care of all of us. The whole thing really stinks though - it's just one more thing this disease takes. Keep fighting as long as you can and I'm glad you have a lawyer. Ultimately you have to do what you think is best for yourself as far as working versus not working or maybe finding a similiar job with a different employer. Keep us updated on what is happening with everything. Take care
Posted 12/20/2007 11:40 AM (GMT 0)
Bill & Hippimom, Your encouraging words brought many smiles to my face ... thanks! It's not 'a day in the park' having Lupus, but the blessing in disguise is that I've come to realize what 'really' matters to me ... good health (not $$$). Thanks everyong for your support - it means the world to me! 
Posted 12/20/2007 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
Jenny, You have a sad predicament. Bill is right and your first priority should be your health. Have you given any thought to working part-time for a single practitioner or a small CPA firm? I know several CPA's who hire part-time accountants and CPA's. I was an independent business woman when I married my hubby and I changed professions and work very part-time managing my rentals and rely completely on my husband for financial support, and while I hate the pressure that puts on him, he would have it no other way. My health is the most important thing to him. This can really be the pits, Jenny. I hope you can work out something that provides a better balance to your life. Hang in there girl.
Posted 12/20/2007 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jenny. Sorry to hear things aren't working out with your job. I'm starting to realize myself that the world is a very unfair place. I work at not a very serious job. It's just a part time desk job, where I'm only working about three days a week. My boss has been pushing me to take on more hours and work full time. I told her I don't think I can handle that yet. She had to tell me about "I know someone with what you *have* and she takes her medicine and goes to work everyday."

That said, I'm not staying there much longer. I'm going to live off my bank account (and mooch off some people) and try to do my own freelance stuff. I think having lupus and having a boss means stress, and we know stress isn't good for us!

I hope everything works out. I hate having to rely on other people for things too, but I don't think the people we rely on mind very much. Just try to take care of yourself and stay healthy!
Posted 12/27/2007 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
Melissa; That just makes me mad. Lupus is different for everyone. Tell her to ask a rheumatologist, or better yet, get a note from your doctor that verifies this simple fact. Then tell her "DUH" right in her stupid face. Ehem, excuse me.
Townsend
Posted 12/27/2007 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
I have been denied twice for disability... got my second no, just the other day... They said I could have a meeting with them but I am not going to do that....

I certainly hope you don't lose your job... all the best to you......hang in there.....
Posted 1/1/2008 9:42 PM (GMT 0)
have you thought about getting a national reporter involved? I saw a story on TV about someone who was clearly not accommodated at work and was able to get the help he needed because of the news story. It might also create awareness about how lupus is an illness even though we look okay. (just a thought)
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