Alienation by friends

While I am feeling better and have a positive attitude, I am still struggling with friends that do not understand and really seem to not care to understand what's it's like to be me.  Without having had a chronic illness, I realize I didn't understand before either.  However, they continue to alienate me and treat me as if I WANT to be sick.  I struggle constantly with fitting in as my nervous system just cannot deal well with socializing, dancing, drinking, chatting, relaxing, etc.  I try and put on a happy face and have a good time but their harsh comments, whispers, ignoring, etc. is very very hurtful.  I know women can be cruel and harsh to each other but I get the look all the time like I am pathetic or depressing or something.  They don't invite me anywhere as if I don't exist.  I have even stopped talking totally about my illness and come to the realization that it my problem to deal with alone. 

I think this is one of the hardest things for me to deal with.  It  has certainly taught me that you just never know what someone is going through on the inside.  I think that by pulling away from them to relieve my stress level I have made them all feel as if I think I am better than them.  Perhaps I should just understand that everyone is going to deal with things the way they do and there is nothing I can do about it. 

Wow I thank you from the bottom of my heart to both you and Cajungirl. Such an inspirational and uplifting read with so many good ideas. I'm going to save it so I can read it again.

springsjean,

I think that most people with chronic illnesses struggle with isolation. I think that some people just don't know what to do or say, so they don't do anything which hurts even more. I am having that problem right now with my mother and I lost a few friends already. I am kind of glad that I lost those friends because I gained new ones that are caring and compassionate. You need to surround yourself with positive people who lift you up. Sometimes, we just have to "let go" and move on. Although it is hard, you will see that you truly didn't need them anyway.

Trav- Thanks for posting that link.

I doon't think you are stubborn at all. It is just tough getting used to how we are now. It takes time, but you will get there and soon enough, those girls won't bother you anymore. I'm sure they wished they had the caring heart that you have. They probably couldn't take what you are going through now. You are alot stronger than they will ever be! This disease takes strength and that's something that alot of people don't have.

 springsjean....and all,

i call it 'ego mania'.

my guess is that there is something  about you that is awesome, and deeply intimidating to them.

and rather than you need to be sick,  THEY need you to be sick.

so they can feel better about themselves.

i think feeling like we need to fit in, when we don't,

is almost a clue that these are not friends,

and we belong someplace else .

i feel there is a big lesson we  learn about

being TRUE to ourselves!

i know my illness is conected to NOT following my screaming heart,

being true to myself.

and instead forced what i thot others expected.

the immune system is so smart.

along with the great 10 steps listed above,

i deeply appreciate the writings of ECKHART TOLLE.

a new earth, the power of now.

when it comes to navigating the waters of ego mania,

he gives a light that twists the picture around

so  i can see a reality of truth

rather than one confused by my own ego .

i'd say trust your heart. find some new friends...

did you see the HAITIAN soccer team on ABC new saturday night?

they are ALL amputees from the earth quake...

running on the field with crutches.

it made me feel like never feeling sad for my limitations again.

Hello springsjean,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your friends. I know how hard that is. I still struggle to stand my ground with letting those who claim they care know that there are some things I can't do anymore.

The stess that comes along with trying to keep up with what use to be the norm is just not worth it. I always come back drained and angry. Angry more at myself for not being true to myself. I think the important lesson is letting go. It was funny that you mentioned thinking about balloons flying away. I do the exact same thing. And then just like you I go back again. Lonliness will do that to you. It makes you forget the bad feelings and you begin to convince yourself that maybe it will be better next time. It's a constant struggle.

I hope and pray that God will bring into your life new friends to fill the void of those you have to leave behind......Willie

count me in, i am lonely too sometimes.

And yup this website is great, frankly the internet is great it gives me something to do now that I am fat and lazy, TV pretty much bores me but I do love to read, thank God.

I think I might try to find some more social media sites? Is that like this?
new term for me.

It makes sense to me that my friends are not around as much I can't do much anymore, they still love me (I hope) and I still love them but I have severe limitations but a lunch once in awhile and fb keeps me with them.

U are right about this disease giving one more empathy. It brought me closer also to my creator, much better closer relationship, I'm being careful i love all people irregardless of the way they see the world

oh, my teeth and face are letting up, thanks for being there : ).