OCD?

Hi everyone. I'm starting to do a bit better after four months of treatment but I have a question about anxiety and OCD in relation to Lyme. Before I knew I had Lyme I started having increasing panic attacks and anxiety. I literally thought I was going insane. I didn't feel like myself and my brain felt so foggy. I started thinking "oh my God what if i'm actually going insane and I hurt someone, what if I hurt a family member?". Everything seemed to stem from this one panic attack.

I started thinking that I was a terrible person for even having these thoughts and maybe I would become some serial killer. I was so terrified. As i'm getting better the obsessive thoughts have quieted down and i'm able to see how silly they are. But they do surface occasionally. I don't have the anxiety/panic attacks anymore but I still fear that i'm going to go into a "Lyme rage" or something and will get locked up in a padded cell.

I do not want to hurt anyone and have always been very gentle so this has really shaken me to my core. Has anyone had any type of OCD behavior that they believe came from the Lyme? Any suggestions? Thank you!

Hi Seewhattimehasdone,

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with these troubling symptoms.

I had this trouble earlier and am pleased to tell you that they do go away with treatment.

It is horrible to have these thoughts -- especially when it involves your loved ones. But they are just thoughts. Recognize them and then put them aside.

As Summer says, removing or reducing the things that stress you is very important. When you feel things building up, take yourself out of the situation (leave the party, get out of the supermarket, tell your family you are putting yourself in timeout). Also engage another person to recognize the things that trigger your tension. They will also learn to see your "clues" that you are having a hard time and make excuses for you.

It's not that you are actually going to rip people's faces off or go postal, but you don't want anything happening that you will feel badly about. And you don't need the stress of worrying about what could happen. The best thing to do is to manage this carefully until your treatment takes effect and you no longer feel this way. Do remember that your impulse control is very healthy and you are very unlikely to do any of the things that are popping into your head.

It will get better and you will be able to enjoy people again.

Thank you so much for your reassurance everyone! I have been feeling so guilty lately, like i'm some kind of psycho.

I personally think I have Bartonella as well but my doc won't treat me for co-infections without a positive test. I go back to see him in a few weeks and will discuss it with him then. If he still refuses to treat me then I will see another doc.

Thanks!

Oh seewhattimesdone - I feel your pain! It's so scary and so overwhelming! Like the others have said it does pass, although I know that doesn't change how hard it is to deal with now. Literally just today I came out of a good 2-week episode of this sort of Lyme rage - just as suddenly as it came on I felt it all fade away. I really felt like I was losing my mind. What's helped me is to see it as the rollercoaster that it is - rather than fighting the symptoms, I tried to just accept them and let them pass.

In the beginning of my treatment, I was having panic attacks every day - sometimes a few times a day! It was really an awful time. I took a low dose of lorazepam every day for a few months which helped to curb the anxiety tremendously - and now I've been able to wean myself off it it pretty easily.

You have nothing to feel guilty about! You're struggling with some pretty rough things - this illness gets pretty ugly sometimes, but this isn't something wrong with you, or something that you're doing - it's happening to you. The best you can do is try to manage it however you can, but it doesn't say anything bad about you at all that you're experiencing all of this. How would you feel if this were happening to a loved one instead of you? My guess is you'd really feel for them - give yourself a little of that compassion!

Thanks very much for the words of comfort :)

I had a Lyme doc recommended to me by a friend. She swears by him so I made an appointment to see him in a few short weeks.

I just need these co-infections to get treated! The night sweats and chest pain are back with a vengeance!

I'm afraid to even suggest Bartonella to him because I don't want him to be offended or something since he is the doctor but I really think that it is what's causing my seizures and strange pains.

Post Edited (seewhatimesdone) : 1/14/2012 7:01:15 PM (GMT-7)