TAmbro , totally understandable feelings . I get what you are saying , I miss it too sometimes . I use to be more of a binge style drinker back in my day ( haha I am only 36 now lol ) I had some pretty comical times , I was always the life of the party
Last year when my symptoms escalated to complete neurological disaster , I was in pain 24/7 , the muscle cramping and the fatigue were deadening . I had terrible shakes and anxiety along with the acute spells and I reached for some wine at points to squalsh the anxiety and it felt so terrible , I would go into a deep ache all over , my arms would turn to lead , my legs would ache and the alcohol would feel like I was injected w/poison :-( Then it would take a lot more to recover , even just from one drink :-(
I had tried a handful of times after I had started to feel a little better but always with the same reaction . It almost felt as if I had become allergic to the alcohol ?????? I will tell you I went thru quite the depression over that . It was never a thought out plan to quit all together , but I realized it didnt have a good effect on me anymore and the recovery time was so taxing that it just wasn't worth it to me .
I can tell you that its been over a year for me and I really dont miss it that much anymore . I do think there will be a time when I will be able to handle a couple drinks again . But its so up and down with how I react that I dont even like to take the chance . Feeling good and feeling alive and vibrant is the goal , and even though it totally sucks to not be able to do what everyone else is doing , its better than being sick .
I have gotten much more comfortable laughing and socializing and cracking jokes without being under the influence , I realize I can get in the mood and be just as fun as before , maybe try to focus on that for now , even though I totally understand missing the nastalgia of the alcohol buzz.
To answer your question , I do think if you focus on healing and recovery now that later on down the road when you are in a better spot you will be able to enjoy some drinks every now and then . I would avoid doing anything too out of balance at any point that may trigger exhaustion and a relapse . Got to take this illness serious !