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On vacation last week-having a hard time

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Lyme Disease
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Posted 5/6/2013 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry I was MIA for a while. I was on a family vacation last week with my husband, kids, and good friends. We go to the beach together every year and rent a large house together (6 adults, 8 children!). It was fun, but I definitely went through a grieving process.
The travel was really hard on me and throughout the week, I kept thinking back to last years trip and wondered if I'm really better now than I was a year ago, or if I've just learned to adapt now that I know why I'm ill, the need for detoxing, etc.
I also thought a lot about past trips when I was healthy and it was a slap in the face to realize how debilitated I still am.
One moment really hit me hard- the other 2 moms were doing craft activities with the kids, including my 7 yr. old son. I was really sick that day and needed to lay down. I gave my son a hug and told him that I was going to lay down while he finished his craft. As I walked away, I looked back at the kids, my son, and the other moms and went in the bedroom and cried. I'm so sick of being sick! I want to be able to do what other moms can do; what other people can do! I don't want to have to sleep in the middle of the day! I want to be able to have craft time with my son & not feel like I'm going to die! I'm so tired of all of this! **** lyme disease! Stupid tick!
Sorry for my vent...
Posted 5/6/2013 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Mystery Illness,

You have hit the nail right on the head! We had an acute sense that our daughter was missing out on life- that the years were passing by, but they were not being lived in a meaningful and satisfactory manner. I know that she shed many tears because she could not go to school or participate on her swim team. This illness can steal fullness of life.

That unfortunately is one of the torments of this illness. Feel free to vent. That is one of the functions of this forum!

Don
Posted 5/6/2013 6:55 AM (GMT 0)

I'm sorry that you were confronted with this Mystery...

These kind of confrontations are hard, they probably make you cry big warm tears... but I felt, whenever I'm going through something like this, that it really is like a grieving process, like you said yourself. It's heartbreaking feeling, but afterwards you feel some kind of relief. You were confronted with it, you faced it, you cried for it, but it's off you chest now. It'll come back once in a while, but the hardest bit is dealt with. That's how it works with me, I hope that in a strange way, it got you some relief too??

I had a similar thing this weekend, my best friend did the baptism of her 2nd child. We all gathered (about 120 people), closest friends cook 2 heavy meals, we eat and have a party. The only thing I could was sit on a chair and look at them - very confronting. Almost had a breakdown...

M

Posted 5/6/2013 11:58 AM (GMT 0)
Hi,

Being a mother of two , I am have been going through similar problems the last year. My youngest is nine, and he will ask to go to the park, or for me to play a game outside. I used to be the mom that did everything, now I can't walk to the park yet.

I say yet, because I believe I am going to get well enough to do it one day soon. I am sure your kids understand , my do, My son will tell his friends my mom has Lyme disease, some days she is really sick.

He goes on to explain about the disease, and I am so proud of him. I know you feel bad when you can't do the things the other mother's can, but you are fighting a horrible disease, and we have to rest our bodies.

A few weeks ago I was able to play a simple two square ball game with my son, you would think I brought him a new puppy, he was so happy. I have explained to him that if I am well enough I love to do things with him, but there are days, when I just can't.

I hope you get better soon, so you can do all the things you want to do, I am trying to work on that also. I want to go for a walk, without worrying about falling, I want to take my son to the park, just simple things, but it gives me something to keep fighting for. A goal that I want to achieve.

justme
Posted 5/8/2013 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. You are right, I need to go easy on myself, let myself grieve, and focus on hope for the future. I am doing the best I can and love my children so much. Thank you!
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