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Posted 5/20/2013 1:28 PM (GMT 0)
Today is my Mother's birthday. She would have been 64, she was my rock...my everything. She passed away February 2010 of Ovarian cancer. There are days when I want to call her because she would tell me everything is going to be alright.

I'm at work but don't want to be here. I had a semi dissappointing weekend and I hope this week turns around for the better.

Asking for good vibes and energy. I'm determined to kick Lyme to the curb and everything else that is looming because I have a warrior spirit like my mom and I have a beautiful son that needs his mom full throttle.

Much love and healing everyone.

Posted 5/20/2013 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
I truly understand where you're coming from,my husband died suddenly in February 2010,too.

I still have very bad days when I long for him to be there ,I sometimes feel so helpless.

We are all going to beat this hideous disease,just think of Traveler,she never gave up hope,even after 31 years.

I'm sending you hugs and positive thoughts over the ocean,keep concentrating on baby steps and embrace the thought that you will get better,wonderful times are just around the corner for you and your beautiful little boy.

Tickled :-)
Posted 5/20/2013 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
Wryter,

I don't think we ever stop missing our parents. I know I miss mine and they have been gone since '89 and '98. However I talk to them frequently when I need to. Also, I wish I had appreciated them more before they were gone. I hope our loved ones spirits are close by.
Posted 5/20/2013 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone, something told me to post how I'm feeling. All of you are a "feel good group" to me. Even during our rough times we are all warriors and learning that I'm not alone in regards to grieving while being sick makes me not feel so alone.

Hideous is such a key word for this disease but watching my mother decline and then pass away makes what I'm going through look like a cake walk.

But she was always so positive. She always said how thankful she was despite her diagnosis. We will all get through this...we have too because there is another wave of people coming behind us that will need our insight and help and I think the numbers will grow as more and more are diagnosed with Lyme.

And yes I think of Trav, Deejavu, Don's daughter and all the others that are healed and hung in there!

I truly love and appreciate this forum and all of you. Thank you!!!!
Posted 5/20/2013 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
I can feel it!!!!! Thanks WWJD!
Posted 5/21/2013 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
Wyrter, your post rang home with me.
My mom also passed from Ovarian cancer although many years ago. Seems there's not many
days that I don't think about her and my dad and now wish they were still here. I am older but the feeling
never leaves, the comfort of "everything is going to be Ok" when I was with them is deep within.
My mother had a strong constitution which I inherited but this process is testing my
my spiritual strength. I think this forum is great for support, who could understand better than
those that can empathize? Sometimes its not one day at a time, its one hour or even minutes at
a time. Its best to throw it out to the universe and as I see many have responded.
I wish you well... in all forms of meaning.
Posted 5/21/2013 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
Dearest Wryter,

I'm also sending you positive energy and vibes..   I also get sad when I think of the people that are gone from my life, my Dad, my first husband, my baby brother...   Some days I miss them so darn much and my heart aches.. 

Then I try to think of the "gifts" they gave me..  Each one in their own way gave me special "gifts"..  And when I think of that I feel better...  As crazy as this may sound, I know they are watching over me and I feel comforted by that...

And I'm sure that your Mom is watching over you and helping you in her own special way to heal and to be happy.

Lots of hugs to you,

Denise

Posted 5/21/2013 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
Wryter,

I know how you feel. I have been a bit melancholy lately, and find myself yearning for people that comforted me in the past. It seems as I am getting older that loved ones are leaving, or will soon be leaving me. Keep the faith. You know that you will someday be reunited with your mother, and that it will be a great time!

I lost my own father 18 years ago- only 4 months before Heather was born. I was very close to my dad, and I miss him every day. He believed in me at times when nobody else did, including myself. He was also my rock. I can offer no consolation other than to say that I understand.

Don
Posted 5/21/2013 10:49 AM (GMT 0)
What is the saying?

It is better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

There is so much truth in that if we hadn't loved them so much,we wouldn't be hurting so much...........

but then,think of all those wonderful times that we got to share and all that love.

Tickled
Posted 5/21/2013 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so blessed by these comments. Thank you so much. I ended my day yesterday meeting and spending time with a woman that my friend connected me with. She was very sick at one point and lost her mom and she got a divorce. She thought she would never get well. She said there was a point where she asked God to take her.

Long story short...she is healed. Completely...but she also forgave. Her mother died like mine. Mom took care of everyone else but herself. I cried in her arms because I met someone who could sympathize with me but I realized that I still held onto some anger wishing my mother took better care of herself so she could be here.

Forgiveness is so powerful and I believe it will play a role in my total healing.
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