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Lyme/Bart and aggression?

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Posted 10/21/2013 3:22 AM (GMT 0)
I've been having aggressive outbursts lately.

They are a lot more intense than simply being "mad because Im sick". My brother noticed that its not the aggression that is surprising per say, but that I go from almost no forewarning of violence to literally Armageddon levels automatically, like a light switch. In my defense, I never initiate the conflict, its almost a self preservation overreaction kind of thing.

Has anyone (maybe you men) experienced this heightened levels of violence? Ive not just hurt others, Ive seriously hurt myself.
Posted 10/21/2013 7:26 AM (GMT 0)
You don't have to be a man to get these outbursts... you can ask my husband - lol :-)

I keep it on a verbal level though. I know I'm able to physically attack at those moments, but I have been able to keep myself in check.

Is it physical aggression in your case?

Bartonella is known for it's personality changes and there is the 'Bartonella rage'. Years ago (I think about 14 years ago), I started noticing the personality changes. Some of my best friends said they didn't see the old M anymore. I used to be very relaxed, easy and calm. I still have those moments, but I can suddenly change into a raging bull (or better cow - lol), I am not me anymore. I hope to become me again once I'm better.

I found meditation and anger meditations efficient for those outbursts. I haven't been doing it for a while because I'm struggling to keep my job for now, so there is no time left... but it definitely helps.

 

Posted 10/21/2013 4:05 PM (GMT 0)
Although I'm not a man, but I too have gone through this. I have also hurt myself and my husband (who is a foot taller and 100 lbs heavier than me). I literally picked up the chair he was sitting in and flipped it over on him - scared me when I realized what I had just done!

I had to learn how to channel my aggression. I would split firewood when that feeling came over on me or I would find a really large branch and beat the livin' daylights out of a nearby tree! My hubby had to learn to just stay out of my way and that it wasn't a reflection of how our relationship was doing. I almost lost him due to my outbursts before I learned how to channel it better.

And, as you indicated, both Lyme and Bart can be responsible for these kinds of actions, it's hard to know which one is actually causing the issues for any individual.

The good news? Ever since I completed my Lyme and Bart treatments, I'm no longer doing those things and I'm more even tempered than I've ever been before!
Posted 10/21/2013 5:28 PM (GMT 0)
Yep it's awful...I have crying fits and I have to be careful because I have my young son. My poor child comes to my rescue (he wipes away the tears from my face). I pray so much these days and I had to get rid of some stressors in my life...like my son's father. He isn't good for my healing process...he wasn't good for me before I was sick so I limit our conversations. When I feel the rage coming I go into the bathroom or my prayer room. I think mine is due to Bartonella too. I will say this...I increased my teasel root tinture dosage and the rage went down. So I felt a difference...then I started Candida treatment over the weekend and I felt even more calm. Our bodies have to purge this stuff and once it does we will be back to normal.

So sorry you're going through this but know that you are not alone in this journey and we are here for you.
Posted 10/21/2013 5:56 PM (GMT 0)
That's so so sweet of your son, wiping away your tears... that really reminds you what you are doing it for...

 

Posted 10/21/2013 9:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Wryter, mind sharing what you are doing for Candida? I'm struggling here..TY
Posted 10/21/2013 11:07 PM (GMT 0)
I have been pretty aggressive lately and also having some other bart symptoms- a lot of foot pain. A lot of sweats too. Will this disease ever end? Prayers to you. My kids also support me too, it is so sweet. I think my son actually has lyme too. We sent his labs to igenex today.
Posted 10/22/2013 12:35 AM (GMT 0)
I totally "lost it" the other day in my car when my daughter di something she is known for and had a pouting episode at a friends house and wouldn't behave. I literally punched my dashboard and screamed at her. I made her cry and I felt so awful. I promised her I would never do that again and next time I would count to ten and pull the car over and just try to process the situation first before I react. I was never like this. Never so quick to react and get so angy and I think it is the bartonella. I have lost it so many times but never like that where I punched the dashboard. I thought I broke my hand. :( I felt so embarased and like such a jerk and my poor little girl didn't mean to upset me like that she is just 7 yrs old. I have also gotten very mad at my boyfriend and have thrown my cell phone a couple times. Now the stupid phone doesnt work right and this behavior is not something i am proud of either. I think its all the bacteria in us and the candida as well that is causing all this for us. I was never like this until recently.
Posted 10/22/2013 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Yes its very physical aggression. On one occasion I punched a hole through the wall of my house and fractured some fingers on a support beam. There are of course other incidents Im far too embarrassed to talk about, but you get the idea.

The strangest part is it seems to crop up on my "semi-good" days when my mental clarity is better than normal.
Posted 10/22/2013 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Before I was in treatment but when I was really ill, I took keflex because it was the only antibiotic I had. Which ironically I don't think really treats much - but 24 hrs after I took it when I woke up...before a thought had even popped in my head, all I knew was that I wanted to punch someone really bad.

No joke - that was my first emotion before bathroom, before thirsty, before brain starts forming sentences....I just really wanted to fight someone. lol

Luckily I was home alone that day. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time because the feeling was SO intense and so screwed up - away from my normal. Man, It was no fun. Luckily for me it did not last very long!
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