Nervous Breakdown?

I have had issues with my moods and how I feel with this disease and now with the antibiotics I started taking I think some things get worse like anxiety and depression. Tehy will flare up at moments and the disconnect and the feelings of unreality are common as well. This disease affects your brain. You are normal to have these feelings. You are not alone either. I wish you a better day today. ((hugs))

Tell me about it!

Last I checked, it's MY body and I have a right to question & inquire about what's going on with it. He's an older man, so, I am actually glad that happened because it made me decide to seek out another LLMD.

I have an apt in 2 weeks with my new LLMD, he's about 2 hours away, in his 50's and been through ILADS training about 1 1/2 years ago...from talking with his staff, it seems he's up on current treatment, uses meds and supplements and does use 2 or more at a time.

Hoping for more reassurance from new LLMD
My unknown future is in the hands of an all knowing God

Came across this thread from another...and I don't know if I'm just extra emotional because I might be herxing, or just who knows what since my doc isn't helpful at all...but I've opended my heart up to her before because I had been experiencing as I called it "cycles" of good times, and all of a sudden I'd be in a miserable depression and the world seemed so dark, and times where Iccan get so mad and just really not able to control those feelings. I would never ever hurt my kids but it took courage for me to go to my doc for help...help that I knew antidepressants wouldn't help because I had already tried so many different ones and know my body enough to know it was "more" I seriously felt my worst one year ago this month, which is when I went to my doctor with this...I seriously at that time started noticing things that could only be described as craziness (won't let me edidit tosay from my point of view not craziness in my eyes okay disregard this whole bit because I can't even get my phone to find where I'm typing in my eyes! I see things inrner of eye, then nothing. For split seconds would think I saw an object but it was something else..ex: a scarf was on the ground and in the corner of my eye I swear it was my sons teddy bear that had been lost, but when I looked it was just my scarf which btw wasn't even same color as bear, anyway, I'd also uncontrollable bursts of anger, and looking back, it was over NOTHING but i still remember how REAL the feelings were. I was seriously thinking schitofrania (i know spelled wrong) and bipolar...I wanted to be healthy minded so badly I went to my doc praying she wouldn't think I was so crazy that my kids might be in danger and totally defeat the purpose of me going there. Like I said, I would never harm them! Anyway I'm just so glad I came to this thread and though now I'm just left with a huge headaches from crying, I baweled my eyes out through reading this...I'm still unsure if I truly have lymes but everything is piecing together and now this! I feel like I finally have answers to what I went to my doc with on my mental state of mind a year ago...now pretty much everything I have gone to my doc about links to this except my polycystic ovary syndrome...which who knows maybe that is linked haha. And I am positive I would NEVER actually commit suicide...but sometimes am so down and feel so lost, hopeless, crazy, pain, etc that it crosses my mind, but not in a literal way...my kids need me and suicide hurts your family more than the pain you can handle till you ride through the storm...at least that's what I tell myself as I'm sitting here crying...again! Agh haha

Post Edited (blueheartowl) : 10/31/2013 1:40:34 AM (GMT-6)

Blue heart: crying and letting it out can be so therapeutic! (Minus the headache, lol). You hang in there! We are all in this together & together we can be strong! I have only been on here for about 2 months now, and it has helped me so much! So much more than any doctor has helped!

Living free: thank you, it's down to 4 days, now, until I see my new LLMD!

Thanks guys! I asked my doc for a test and she said yes, surprisingly. Then I was called and told "your Lyme test is negative". I almost lost it. It's not like I WANT to have lymes i knew there was a high chance of it being negative inaccurately, but I was devastated to still not know. I went to my doctor with my symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome, and her response was "sounds like you might have that" in other words..."you're just a hypochondriac, next subject" well, not long after I went to the ER with terrible pain on both sides wghere my ovaries are and was just told by that ER doc and my primary doc that it sounded like a urinary tract infection even though I said it felt like my ovaries. Er doc said it isn't common to be able to feel your ovaries but did an ultrasound...guess what...I CAN feel my ovaries when they're very inflamed and full of follicles and cysts. So then my doc finally started treatment for the PCOS. I wish that proved to her that I'm not a hypochondriac and don't make up symptoms. I really don't like going to doctors but I do because I want and need help. Frustrating. When I came to her thinking I had fibro she also said it sounds like you might. Ugh ok well let's try to figure this out?? I need a Dr.House asap. I feel like its more than fibromyalgia. Bit I want to know. I don't want to live with such a low quality of life feeling and even die from an illness . A preventable death. Sometimes I wonder if it is in my head and ignore my "brain" but I also had same doubts about the pcos and that was definitely not in my head. My pain sucks, and it is not in my head.

Blueheartowl,
All of those things that you are experiencing could be from Lyme and the co-infections. If you look up PCOS, it's due to an imbalance of female hormones - which is definitely something Lyme does - messes with hormones.

We do have to be careful to not just blame Lyme & company for everything, but almost everything I've seen you mention in your posts can be caused by one of the tick-borne infections.

Most non-Lyme literate doc's really do believe we are either making stuff up or are hypochondriacs - but it's their ignorance of the true medical issues that's at fault, not us.

The current blood tests for these diseases are very inaccurate - only 50% of those with the disease will test positive!! There are several reasons why - the biggest one is that for Lyme disease only 4 or 5 of the possible 100 strains that are in the US alone are being tested for. If you should have one of the strains not being tested for, you can have all of the symptoms and still receive a negative test result.

And if you have Bartonella or even Babesia as well, they make testing positive for Lyme even harder.

I didn't test positive for any of the tick-borne diseases until I had a full year of abx, and even then I only tested positive for Lyme and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, I was still negative for Bartonella, Babesia, Ehrlichia, and more that I was diagnosed with by a LLMD.

You really should decide on what type of protocol you would like to follow - pharmaceuticals or herbs/natural or a combination of the two. This will determine what kind of doctor you need to see. We can likely help you find a doc near you, depending on just where you live. Here in Arkansas where I live, we don't even have one LLMD.

Are you close to another state where you could travel there?

If not, you may want to consider herbal/natural treatments. The Integrative docs, Herbalist, Traditional Chinese Medicine docs, Homeopathic docs and Naturapathic docs don't get harassed as much. Just something to think about.