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Posted 11/4/2013 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
I just signed up today. I am just soooo sad about being sick today. I found my way to this forum when I was trying to find out what was wrong with me. I have been sick almost seven years. I was able to find out that I had LD two months ago partially because of all of the wonderful information on this site. If I could just stop crying today I would feel a little better.
Posted 11/4/2013 9:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi artsie!

I'm glad you signed up. Healingwell is a great place to be. Its okay to cry, let it out and we are here for you on this site! I'm so sorry you have been ill for so long. :( I hope you can soon find some comfort here and knowing what you are ill with as well (and that you aren't crazy!).

How is your treatment going?

~beth
Posted 11/4/2013 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi opugirl!

Thank you for responding. The last two years have been so hard. I didn't want to live anymore. I have been on treatment for two months and have been so hopeful. I just am crashing and burning today. I am just feeling so alone. It is so helpful to just have a connection with someone who can understand what LD can do.
Posted 11/4/2013 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
Yes I know. It is one tough road to be on for sure. I'm healing, off all antibiotics and feel about 80% most days. I know things for me are still 'off' but I was sick for probably 3 years before I really realized it when things got really rough.

You are definitely not alone. I am very fortunate in my work position and that I've healed pretty fast but I do still feel the scars. Stupid things like somebody was talkig about wedding decorations and little craft things they could do. It made me sad b/c I used to love stuff like that...and now I'm not 'above' it so to speak just tainted - little things like that no longer matter. At all.

Before you know it treatment will progress and you will be healing, and then you will be in my stage... I guess 're-awakening' or 'self-defining' moments. Hang in there. It does get so much better and on my really good days - you can't take the smile away from my face.
~beth
Posted 11/4/2013 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you. You put a smile on my face, small as it is. I needed it today.
Posted 11/4/2013 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey artsie girl,

I so know how you feel. I had a day like that just yesterday. I was absolutely despondent. Had to leave church twice because I was crying so hard. Wanted to give up--just lie down and die. Today I woke up feeling so much better. Almost a completely different person. That's how it is in the early days of treatment, I'm learning. It's a roller coaster ride. One day you can feel sooo bad, the next sooo much better. I try to remind myself when it's bad that the next day it could be very, very good. Sometimes it helps me to make it through the torture.
Posted 11/4/2013 10:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Artsie girl -

Welcome. This is such a healing site and I'm glad you finally know what's wrong with you. Like Opgirl said, you're on your way. The hardest part for me was being kind to myself and learning how to live again. Really, learning how to live again and start to manage all of the fear, hard. We're here if you need anything girl.

~Sarah
Posted 11/5/2013 12:56 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, artsie girl.

This is a great forum, with lots of information, and very supportive and caring people.
Posted 11/5/2013 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hi artsy girl. I am sorry you are having a bad day. Unfortunately, it takes so long for most of us to get a correct diagnosis we enter treatment pretty sick and worn out physically and emotionally.

The good news is now you know what is making you sick and you have started treatment. There will be a lot of ups and downs along the way. But this is much better than before diagnosis when you were getting sicker without knowing why. I understand when you say before you were diagnosed you were so sick you didn't want to live anymore. I felt that way too. I have been in treatment for three years, and am doing well. Things do get better.

Still, when I have a down day, I am okay with crying. This disease is tough, I don't want to be sick, I just want to be normal...lots of reasons to bring a person down sometimes. As long as I don't get stuck there, it is ok to grieve.

One thing that helped me was to get into a local Lyme support group. It is affirming to share with others who truly understand. I have made some Lyme friends I can call when I need an encouraging word. This may be something that could help you in your recovery.

Glad you posted here and hope tomorrow is a better day.

Rose
Posted 11/5/2013 4:25 AM (GMT 0)
I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you. I'm glad you found this site so you can get the support and encouragement you need. Things will get better in time.
Posted 11/5/2013 8:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi artise
I am 6 weeks into treatment after 45 years complaining & a diagnosis of MS in 2001.
Cry it out & just rest if posssible.
Hugs from Ireland
Maggie Anns
Posted 11/5/2013 9:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hi sweetie, I know EXACTLY how you feel!

When I left doctors office yesterday I told my family That I wanted to go home, go to sleep & not wake up.

Of course I didn't mean it. And would never take my own life,
But it is so sad that the enjoyment we once got from life is just not there.

We must believe things will get better.

Hang here with us, we all need each other:)
Posted 11/5/2013 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
THIS is why I love this place so much (and they can't get rid of me! LOL!)!!! We have such wonderful, caring people here!!

Hi Artsie! As you can see, this is more of a community than a forum - so welcome to our community! :-)

I think we all can relate to days like that - fortunately it's not a life-long thing! We do have to work hard to heal, but we can and then we can go back to our lives.

If you haven't yet, please do read through our thread, "New to Lyme? Start here!" as it's pack with important info on these diseases that you won't want to miss. Information on detoxing, symptom lists - as Lyme rarely is the only infection passed at that time- and more.

Someone is usually on this forum, so when you feel you've just had enough, need to talk, have a question, or concern - please post here! Or you can email many of us - If the little blue envelope under the screen name is lit up, then just click on the screen name to email one of us.
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