End of the rope

Dvlsfan, I experienced severe depression for many years until I took antidepressants. They had their side effects though. I now have OCD. I decided to stop them and try natural alternatives. My husband has Lyme, but I think I do too. It comes out a RA and depression/anxiety. When I first started dealing with depression after marrying my husband, I thought I was feeling that way due to things that bothered me. As the time went by, I would still be bothered by some of these issues. It was depressing to think I would always feel so down by situations beyond my control. It really isn't normal to feel that way though. When I started the antidepressants, those issues didn't bother me anymore. I guess if I focused on them, I wouldn't feel good about them, but I didn't. I realized that it was the depression causing me to feel so badly. With what they call clinical depression (not situational), one can feel depressed no matter how well your life is going. Everyone has things happen in their lives and deals with a certain amt. of stress, but uncontrollable depression rears it's ugly head and makes it all unbearable. It's hard for people to understand unless they experience it themselves. It's like trying to explain Lyme to someone. Now that I am off the antidepressants, it has returned but I can handle it better knowing I wouldn't have these feelings if it wasn't for the clinical depression. I tell myself it isn't real. Maybe you can do the same while you are looking for ways of healing your Lyme. This is what I am doing. I am trying magnesium and D pills and looking for others ways to deal with it. Also, when you have thoughts of suicide, without raising your head, roll your eyes up. It appears to change something in the brain chemistry. It seems to work for me in the morning when I first wake up and feel the worst.
With all the wonderful responses you can see that people on this forum do care. Stay with us so we can help each other heal. You are young. I have a son who is your age. We really want to help and who knows you may do the same one day for others. As Traveler pointed out, you can be healed if you have Lyme. Be good to yourself and to your family.

Thanks for the support everyone. Still scared. Trying to control myself.

Girlfriend was just playing around on the computer browsing weren't stuff for the future if we were to get married. Made me smile.

Wish I will be here for when the time comes. And healthy.

Dentist tomorrow to replace two crowns my old dentist didn't sit right. And get bite guard for when I sleep. Hopefully the nagging feelings will go away from the clenching in my sleep. Whatever happens I guess I can't escape it because of the family dental genes.

Current symptoms. Anxiety, some palps (usually when I'm stressing) an occasional ache in my knees and muscle flutter. Very light weird feeling in left hand fingers occasionally. (HVe a big ganglion cyst on my wrist which may put pressure on my nerves in that hand I'm guessing. ) also some mild back and tail bone aches.

Had bloodwork done to see if there has been any effect with cabergoline on my prolactin and the growth.

Also scheduled to get bloodwork done for co infections

Just a lot of stuff going on all at once. Maybe I will be able to live a normal life after I get through everything so I can stop worrying I am going to not be around soon.

Just stressed out how a lot of the symptoms can over lap. Lyme, anxiety, pituitary prolactinoma.

Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 1/7/2014 4:09:39 PM (GMT-7)

I don't mind reading. I have been scared to exercise because of the palps. I don't have any issues of being tired or no energy, but I have been laying around a lot just trying to relax my worries.

Especially with my girlfriend home from school it has been easier for me to relax but the worry is always in the back of my head. Even when I'm happy.

I do eat pretty healthy. I don't eat fast food especially. I will indulge in a sweet here and there. Guilty especially when my gf is home.

I do have some trouble sleeping. Here's an annoying thing. High prolactin I saw could cause night sweats and sleep issues. As well as anxiety and I saw Lyme co infections can as well. The night sweats aren't drenching, but my bed is also next to the heat up against the wall so it travels right up to my bed.

I can go on about how all these over lapping symptoms make me worry. I just hope I can go back to a normal life. It's hard to keep head up when most of the healed people disappear and a lot of what I read is people in the same position.

I do like this forum more then md....etc I should say because I feel there is a lot of hostility and do this or that over understanding.

Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 1/7/2014 4:33:28 PM (GMT-7)

i try to eat green veggies when ever i can. will do my best to have more


i guess i can say happy dance today. some better news that has calmed me down a bit.

I got a blood result back from my pituitary endo- my prolactin went from 2700 to 280 in one month on cabergoline. The medication is working and hoping my tumor has shrunk enough that it will show on the mri i get in 3 weeks. maybe my testosterone is climbing back up. still waiting for that.

left the dentist and had a temp crown put on to replace a bad old crown. explained my teeth anxiety and scares with lyme. He is not a biological dentist but knows about lyme. He lifted my gums and said they look great. (explained those scary videos people posted on another forum of spirochetes in gums causing problems.) no mouth guard yet but told him about the dental aches. He said the xrays show nothing wrong so he still believes that some of these minor aches are from the clenching. i have noticed i have been doing it during the day as well. he said he isnt going to let me lose my teeth. He said unfortunately the stuff i have gone through has alot to do with genetics because my dad has had alot of dental work done through his life. my grandparents on my moms side have had alot of dental issues as well.

im just hoping the high prolactin is still a big cause of the anxiety because even with the medication, i still have some anxiety. (i know lyme could be a culprit for anxiety as well, not ruling it out)

so like stated above, i am not ruling lyme out for the palps and minor aches, but im getting more blood work done tonight for co-infections. i guess i should be hopeful that the doctor years ago even found out that my inflamed knee was lyme and at-least treated (doxy for either 30 or 60 days, cant remember) instead of no treatment and missing it to begin with.

so now i have an appointment next week to go on some abx. I am also going to be meeting with a naturopath to do some supplements. im hoping to do some take some naturals to kill parasites just incase i have some.

i am going to do my best to eat better. will watch the sugar intake.

i need to believe i can go back to not worrying and back to my normal life. i need to avoid the bad stories since only a handful of people come back to tell the good. trying to avoid the other forum as well. i feel alot of scare tactics are used versus understanding.


should i believe i can go back to my normal life? just nervous about the symptoms and the overlapping of all 3 issues. (anxiety, lyme, adenoma messing woth hormones)

Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 1/8/2014 12:45:02 PM (GMT-7)

Hi dvlsfan30 was just reading through your post and just wanted to say that I can relate to you to you are not alone. I am 22yrs old recent college grad and I am having a lot of weird things happen to me

because of lyme. I defiantly feel depressed sometimes and I have to admit I did contemplate suicide but only when I was so sick I thought I was going to die anyway. I realized on my good days that I feel so

stupid for having such negative thoughts but then when I feel sick again I can see where I was coming from thinking the worst. There are a lot of things depressing about this pain in the ass disease like

watching all your friends go out drink and have a great time go to work without a care in the world while I sit here filled with jealousy. Having people not understand what you are going through and feeling like a

burden to people is just what happens sometimes. I hope you feel better soon. I am the most impatient person in the world so if I can fight this so can you just give it time. At one point I was on two anxiety

pills a day when I never had anxiety in my life and then I realized I don't have anxiety and it was a co infection making me feel like that, havent touched a antidepressant since. I know what you mean by

looking through this site seeing so many suffering stories and the people who are healed completely hardly ever post here anymore (besides you Traveler) so lets beat this together and become one of those people

who are healed and comes back to tell their success story and offer help and advice that was given to us by the people here. Good Luck. We can do this.

Just getting out and walking might help you. It can help with anxiety. I think you will pull through this and be able to move ahead. It's hard to be young and ill. I was much more ill than you are when I was in my 20s and I pulled out of it. My infection now is mild in comparison to how sick I was back then.

I was very depressed when I was young and sick too. It's just hard to accept when your young and have your whole life ahead of you, but worrying about it to the point that chronic anxiety becomes a problem will just slow down your recovery and give you more problems in the long run. I know some of the anxiety is from the illness.

Good for you for getting out on a walk! You should just tell yourself that you aren't so sick that you can't do that, like many Lyme patients are, and be glad that you are able to.

If reading about people who are a lot worse off than you gets your anxiety up, then you should stop reading them, as has been said before. Just be glad that you aren't as bad off. Take it day by day.

I will try. I believe the one five minutes away doesn't take any insurance.


Just having a really hard time lately. Idk how I will be able to get past this. Don't want to suffer but don't want to not be here. Don't have much money. These thoughts are killing me