Will this constant feeling of doom ever go away?

Now that my naturopath has gotten my decades-long diarrhea under control (I had a huge overgrowth of yeast), my most debilitating symptoms from the Lyme/Babesia/Erlichia are the depression and anxiety. I live under a constant feeling of impending doom. Sometimes the anxiety is so bad that I want to crawl out of my skin. But mostly it's just this inability to enjoy anything. I wake up feeling hopeless and for many days, stay that way until bedtime. Even my insomnia is getting better. The mild pains in my joints I can deal with, no problem. Ditto the fatigue. Confusion and brain fog have gotten way better. But this depression and anxiety are relentless.

I've been on Biaxin for about 2.5 months now, Doxy for about 1.5, Plaquenil for 2.5, Cryptolepsis for more than 3 months, Artemisinin for almost 2 months, and a whole boatload of other stuff--Cat's Claw, Japanese Knotweed, Eleuthro, Red Root, Siberian Ginseng, multivitamins with an adapted form of b12 due to my MTHFR gene. I take 5HTP, 100 mg. of Zoloft, and Ativan when I really need it. Nothing helps. I feel like I'm wasting so much of my life with this darned depression and anxiety.

Oh, and to top it off my LLMD just discovered I have elevated blood levels of Mercury. Arsenic is "higher than he'd like to see," but not above clinical levels. Can I catch a frickin' break here? LLMD wanted me to do a urine challenge, but naturopath and I both agreed that it would be more prudent to try to eliminate the Mercury floating around in my blood first. Nervous about liberating more from my tissues if my body can't even get rid of what I've already got circulating around. For the same reason, I don't want to do chelation now. Instead, my naturopath has put me on this "medical food" called UltraClear Renew. Tastes like crap, costs $80 a frickin' jar, and doesn't seem to making a bit of difference. I'm so disgusted, tired, sad all the time. So sick of this. Any suggestions?

Oh, my diet is gluten-free, dairy free, and mostly sugar free. I cheat sometimes with root beer barrels. I don't do alcohol or caffeine, eat mostly smoothies, greens, some fruit, chicken, some lean beef (very little), legumes, nuts. Have cut out fish due to Mercury.

Did you suffer with depression/anxiety, or do you mean that you were so overwhelmed by pain that you just couldn't concentrate on anything else? I have this sense that I really should be doing something further to eliminate the mercury, aside from chelation. Some kind of absorption? Something to help my body eliminate it faster, which I guess is what this stupid expensive dietary stuff is supposed to do? My babesia levels were still high when they checked back at the end of November, so I don't know if these emotional issues are resulting from babs, Mercury, or both. I've been prone to periods of sadness all of my adult life (probably also been infected with these stupid diseases all of my adult life, too)--but the intensity of this stuff is way worse than normal.
I am so grateful that I don't suffer some of the more debilitating physical symptoms--I've seen "Under Our Skin"--I know how bad it can be! But these emotional issues can be debilitating in a whole different way.

When I was at my worst I was both overwhelmed with pain and the infection created it's own psychosis or i don't know how to call it? I have never gone through this much mental anguish and I have been through a lot otherwise, including watching my husband suffocate to death after 13.5 years of steady decline and several not so severe but similar experiences. So it was both the pain associated with this horrid disease and the emotional/mental issues that come with the infection.

I have the sense of impending doom a good portion of the time, and have for most of my life. I have breaks here and there but not lately. I feel for you and am sorry. You aren't the only one feeling this way.

Lymebabe--I'm so sorry to hear about everything that you've gone through. And I feel for everyone else going through this doom and everything else these stupid diseases bring, too. Happily, this evening I'm experiencing a rare (these days) period of relief. It's like I'm a totally different person--the heavy feeling in my chest is gone, my mind doesn't relentlessly dwell upon everything that possibly could go/has gone wrong. I feel normal. When this does happen, it is always toward the end of the day. Mornings are ALWAYS torture. This makes me think there's got to be some chemical component to the whole thing.

racetheligntning--that's an interesting idea. I did very well on Zoloft and 5 HTP for many, many years, though. No problems sleeping or other issues. I was feeling so good that I quit the Zoloft about a year ago. Did OK for months, then the poop hit the fan. I was under stress due to the impending end of my alimony payments--pretty sure this kicked Lyme and co. into high gear, and precipitated the crisis I currently find myself in. I'm pretty sure this is the most difficult time I've ever gone through in my life. Worse than divorce, worse than 2 miscarriages. I experienced a crisis like this once--about 16 years ago. I had tried to go off of the Zoloft because I wanted to get pregnant. Didn't know about the Lyme and co. at the time--which had most likely already been on board for more than a decade. The anxiety was nearly debilitating, though I managed to continue to do well at my job--how, I don't know. The rest of the time I was a basket case. Went back on the Zoloft and eventually stabilized. Don't remember how long it took. As it is now morning (I've been awake since 4:30 a.m., which is typical for me now), I'm back to the usual feelings of doom. At least I had a short reprieve last night. I didn't want to go to sleep, it felt so nice.

soscared13- I love root beer barrels. I haven't had one of those in years. My grandpop used to give them to me. Thanks for the warm memory.

I hope you start having some better days. I've had the feeling of doom quite often. I often am fearful of being alone because I'm afraid something bad will happen with a symptom and I will be alone.

It was much worse months ago. Then, it was pretty much all day feeling anxious, nervous, scared. When I started treatment, it got so bad I really thought I was losing my mind, but slowly, it has gotten a little more manageable. I used to have panic attacks in the middle of the night, maybe 3 times a week, and my mornings were just filled with anxiety. I average maybe once a month in the middle of the night now...maybe even less.

I'm sure others have mentioned it, but I take L-Theanine for the anxiety, and I think it is helping. I only take one in the morning, but I think it's okay to take up to 4 a day, so you might want to look into that, as well.

Take care.

I also should add, I worked with a doctor to balance my neurotransmitters to deal with the anxiety and depression before I knew I had Lyme and Co as well as the MTHFR detox issues. He ran a Neuroscience Neurotransmitter test every month (I only had to pay $5 for a $300 test because he was a research physcian for them...he no longer is though). He would look at my norephinephrine and serotonin levels on each test. If serotonin was low he would prescribe more 5-HTP. IF norepinephrine was low then I had to take more Tyrosine. Sometimes the low feeling can come from not having enough of the norepinephrine. Sorry if that is all too complex but I am just saying that because I see you are taking 5HTP and Zoloft. Both 5htp and Zoloft raise serotonin but do nothing for norepinephrine.

I know depression and anxiety all to well. I am 29 and think I found a combination of three anti-depressants that are finally starting to work. The first one is Amantadine. The second one is Deplin. The third one is the icing on the cake called Valdoxan. That one has to be ordered from Canada Drugs. You will need to spend some money because they are not covered by insurance. I hope this can be of some help to you. I believe you can't get well when you have a cloud of depression following you everywhere. The worst part of Lyme, besides the pain, is the derealization and depersonalization. It's hard to see the world around you in a different dimension than everyone else. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone besides yourself. You should be proud of yourself when you go to bed because that means you just got through another day! Good luck on finding the right combo for you.
Moxie84