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Feeling Very suicidal Lyme / Rant

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Posted 2/19/2014 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, I finally got my lyme disease results 2 weeks ago showing im positive from igenex. I have been feeling very suicidal past few days and I hate my life. I feel depersonalized and things just do not seem real. I read online how no one gets better with long term lyme and i will live like this way forever. im 19 and i live in Canada and i just dont want to deal with this anymore. i have been suffering for 4 years and this sucks.
All my doctors think im crazy. i cant seem to find a story where someone is fully cured/ no success stories or nothing. i have a crapty ass car which gets me nowhere and im so frustrated with everything. like whats the point.
Posted 2/19/2014 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, Cheer Up

Im 22 from US and went/going through the same crap that you are. You are young so our recovery rate is higher than those who have been sick for many many years. You never see any success stories because all the people who beat this don't come back on here because they don't need to. Find a doctor that will treat you properly and you will be fine. The depression and hating everything is normal its not you its the bugs. Don't do anything stupid youll be better eventually. Look on this forum for advice and ask as many questions as you need. It sucks being young and having this but these are the cards we are dealt so you're going to have to just be stronger in order to beat this.
Posted 2/20/2014 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
I was late stage neuro with really bad symptoms. I did high dose ammox and Cefdinir and it worked wonders. Never give up. People here are a very good support to you. Hugs.
Posted 2/20/2014 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
OBTW you need to find a LLMD as soon as possible. Even late stage lyme can be treated with antibiotics. If you need help finding one in your area someone here can probably help.
Posted 2/20/2014 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi
I am in my 60's & even though I haven't been diagnosed I am treating myself for Lyme which I may have for 45+ years. I do have a diagnosis of ms which sucks too but I fought to keep myself mobile. I am 5 months treating myself for Lyme now & if I never got any better than I am to-day I would be happy but I do believe I will finish the marathon. You have to think positive & prove to the little critters than you can beat them......eventually. It is possible so best foot forward & good luck.
Mary
Posted 2/20/2014 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Anon,
Had I realized that you were dealing with this, my email to you would have been a lot longer. These feelings really will pass, I absolutely promise.

Just check out this thread for support: www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2997353 - there are many right here that care enough to offer help - including me!

And for success stories, check this one out - I guess you don't remember starting it:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2991497

And for a a more complete understanding of my own journey - 40 years before finding the issues and then healing in just 2 1/2 years:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=2977364

So whatever you've been reading about people not healing is just plain wrong.

Reach out to someone on a one on one situation, most anyone on here would be happy to help you get through this I believe, I know that I would!!

As TBrown said, the depersonalization and feeling like nothings real is part of the infection - not you. So don't do anything rash - reach out to someone - please. We are just waiting for you to do so.
​ ​
Posted 2/20/2014 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
My 26 yr. old got sick before the age of 10. She keeps her mind busy so she doesn't get more depressed. I was very ill in my 20s and I got better. I either got infected again or stress brought it out of remission, but I'm not nearly as bad as I was back then. Do try to find a doctor who knows about Lyme disease so you can get past this illness. You are one of the lucky ones to get diagnosed before it went on any longer than it has. That and your age are on your side and you should be able to overcome it, but you need to be your own advocate too and eat well and do some research for things you can do on your own. Go to the "New to Lyme?" thread at the top of the page and read through it to learn about diet, home treatments, detoxing (very important!) and other things. Keep coming here for support. We want you to fight this illness and get on with your life.
Posted 2/20/2014 3:53 AM (GMT 0)
Anon101:

I'm sorry for how you are feeling, its a horrible disease. But on the bright side there are plenty of people here that have gotten better. Its not easy but its far from saying no one gets better.

I am 24 years old and live in Canada, MB to be more exact. Are you seeing an LLMD/LLND? Perhaps I can recommend the one I am seeing. She is located in AB but does phone consults with me after my initial appointment. She uses a modified cowden protocol (herbals) and is extremely knowledgeable. Let me know if you would like this info.

Things will get better, and you got tons of awesome years ahead of you!

LC
Posted 2/20/2014 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hello, I am brand new to the forum. I have been monitoring the site for a year & like the caring, informative atmosphere so decided to join.
I am hoping to find someone with my similiar symptoms who's life has improved.
Maggie Anne you mentioned your drop foot & balance cleared quickly.
Has this improvement continued & do you walk unaided?

Heathersdad mentioned his daughter could not walk 5.5 yrs ago & is in competitive meets now - awesome! What health aid did she use?
Both these give me some hope!

In 2009 my left foot started twising, I developed a limp, progressed to a cane & now 99% using a walker. I present with MS symptoms but 2 Neurologists were not able to diagnosis me with anything! The multitude of tests were negative. I was perscribed Baclofen for my spasticity but stopped after 3 months of awful side effects. In Nov 2011, I went to an Infectious Disease Dr & tested positive with Bartonella & showings with Rickettsia, Lyme & Typhus. I went on 11 weeks of Doxy/Rifampin. All my Periphernial symptoms: burning, floaters, crawling skin, sore balls of feet etc are gone but my fatigue, lower limb balance & gait seem to be slowly worsening dispite physio, pilates, orthodtics & anything I can think to try. In the fall of 2013, I did another 4 months of Doxy/Rifampin with no improvement.
I am 66 yrs young, have a positive outlook & look the picture of health except to walk. March 12th, I am going to a ND who does Glutathione IV & herbal Cocktails. I hope I improve - like Maggie Anne & Heather! Any suggestions are welcome.
Cheers, Chirp
Posted 2/20/2014 4:25 AM (GMT 0)
Anonymous, here's a video for some encouragement, in case you didn't see it when I posted it before (at least I think I did).
vimeo.com/65479794 Hope it helps.
Posted 2/20/2014 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
/sites.google.com/site/drjoneskids/home

Good information Site
Posted 2/20/2014 12:53 PM (GMT 0)
Its just amazing people can get to this point and doctors are refusing them treatment. There is a simple solution. These doctors need to be held accountable. Very discouraging.
Posted 2/20/2014 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Anon,

Please don't give up hope!  Many have become well (symptom-free) and you will as well!  Please read the success stories...   I know about those dark days when everything seemed hopeless but they do pass.

Hang in there okay?

Denise

Posted 2/20/2014 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi chirp
I am delighted to confirm that my improvements have stayed with me & other minor changes have happened too. I feel I am almost at the end of the symptoms now. In fact I am going to town ALONE to-morrow for about 1 hour after 13 years of having to have someone to link. I had even stopped going at all as I felt it would take too much effort.
A positive outlook is so valuable as I think it doesn't allow me anyway to ever give in. Email me if you wish.
Regards
Mary
Posted 2/20/2014 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
Attitude is key. Don't give up. Tell yourself you will fight this thing and not let it get the best of you. There are success stories without a doubt and tell youself you will be one of them. You are young and strong. My cousin got it at the age of 13 and she was diagnosed five yrs later and is getting married next month. There is a success story right there. You will be ok. Good luck to you hugs sent your way!
Posted 2/20/2014 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Anonymous101, I live in Canada and know what you are going through. I had severe depression and suicidal thoughts....totally out of character for me. I even broke down in my doctor's office and my husband told the doctor that he was concerned and had never seen me like this. I don't have a Lyme diagnosis but I have been consulting with a LLND in Calgary and doing a modified Cowden protocol. Due to the herxing I have been having, the LLND feels I definitely have Lyme. I live in NS and consult with her by phone. I tried antibiotics but the depression and other symptoms became much worse, not to mention the severe abdominal pain. Samento and Banderol are much gentler and I no longer suffer with depression. I have only been doing these herbs for a month and a half. It does get better.....let me know if you need any more info.
Posted 2/21/2014 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
THIS is what you need to do. Find an LLMD. Choose a treatment plan. Start slowly. Detox A LOT!

You will probably benefit from sleeping pills and anti-depressants.

I would suggest a psychiatrist and/or psychologist, preferably LL.

I would consider iv abx, but take LOTS of probiotics.

I have been there too--quite recently--and just started Cowden.

Margaret
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