Sad today

Accidentally ran out of Cymbalta (prescribed by my LLMD). Missed a dose last night and am feeling sad. Then I had to euthanize one of my fish (she was dying). Then I let my chickens out to discover one bleeding profusely from her comb. One of the other ones attacked her. Now I've gotta figure out how to keep it from happening again. Feel very sad. I've always felt isolated from others. I've often described it as feeling like I'm inside this plastic bubble, able to watch everyone but not quite reach them. Part of it is definitely due to childhood issues. But I'm now realizing that, since I've likely had Lyme and co. onboard for much of my life (I just turned 49), some of it might be attributed to the side effects of the diseases. Anyway, feeling friendless and looking for a connection, I guess.

Soscared, Please don't feel bad. I mean, think of that poor chicken that was attacked. I am sure it felt scared and probably feared for its life when it was being attacked. Then you come along and watch over it. can you imagine the comfort that you provide to this chicken right now? It can't cure its comb by itself, so it depends on you. So think of how important you are to these chickens and use that to feel better. You matter to them and to us. You and I and the rest of the group here share the same road for now while we journey to a better health. So please, don't think that you are alone, because you are not.

I share the sentiment with Mrs Pallas that I wish I was there to make you feel better. If you are at home, can you treat yourself to a special treat such as a bubble bath or maybe a nice recipe that you only make on special occasions? If not, maybe a nap might make you feel better.

If you are in the USA, perhaps you can color some of your chicken's eggs for Easter? even if just to brighten your place a bit.

You guys made me cry--a happy cry, I think. Hard to tell sometimes. :) But thanks for the kind words. My poor hen is enjoying some cracked corn in her dog crate. I'm gonna separate either her or the bully for a couple of days. I need to do a bit more reading to figure it out. But for now she's safe and no longer bleeding. She had a nice wash in the house, and she's drying off. I'm gonna put some antibiotic on her comb a bit later.

Sorry you're having a tough day :(... You received great, supportive replies! I think this disease humbles all those fighting it and turns us into more caring people than we ever have been! You're in a safe place here to reach out when you're not feeling well mentally.

I've had a tough childhood as well and am being treated for Post Traumatic Stress disorder and am on Pristiq. When I came down with Lyme, I definitely started feeling depressed and anxious. The Pristiq couldn't break through it. I completely know your feeling of being in a plastic bottle. When my serotonin is low I feel that way. Maybe you can try taking a higher dosage of the Cymbalta and see if that eases your depression? I also take 5htp with the Pristiq which helps without me having to raise my Pristiq dose... You might want to try that.

We all need someone we can relate and talk to. It's not always easy to find a friend who is willing to lend an ear... I'm here if you need to talk. My email is in my profile. I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Thank you so much everyone. I'm actually kinda proud of myself right now. After the crap morning I had I discovered that oil was leaking from my furnace. I didn't panic, called the repair guy, and found out it was an easy fix. I'm trying to "feed" myself with the good feelings of weathering this day as well as I have. Being kind to myself. Learned that from my therapist. :)

There will be better days...
The other day when I was at target...i stood there with my cart while the wife and kids were running off to grab something...i was do sick...
I just started people watching and wondered to myself how they could be so happy. I've been sick so long I forgot how it feels to feel good...and be happy.
Then a good day comes around
..and its like being born again

I know about running out of the Cymbalta or Lamotrigine. One day can make a huge difference. You gotta keep them in stock.

I'm sorry about the animals. Any time I see a hurt animal, I feel so sad. I never get fish, bc they die so easily.

J. says I worry more about animals than about people!

Margaret