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Posted 5/2/2014 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
I am scared and depressed and feeling so low. I hate this. When I got my stupid tick bit back in September I did a ton of  research and learned how bad this stuff is yet still did not even do the 30 days of antibiotics even though I knew I should have. why??? I am so sad about that.

Now I am on all these meds and have this constant tinnitus and feel generally awful and am so scared that this won't ever go away. I hate this. I have really heavy dark thoughts.

I have a young child I am raising through all this and I have to keep it together for them. I am so scared and depressed. I hate this constant tinnitus I can never get quiet. And I hate the way the antibiotics feel in my body. I hate that I may have to add rifampin.

I know I am grateful my lyme is not worse than it is- my symptoms are mostly in my ears and fatigue etc but it is still so debilitating. I just wan to be well. How do I deal with this?

Posted 5/2/2014 2:18 PM (GMT 0)
I struggle myself with the same questions. I caught my lyme early and started treatment pretty soon after. I feel like recovery should be faster but it isn't and its frustrating. My issues are emotional (lots of crying) severe throat burning, weight loss and lack of motivation among others.

Just try to hang in there.
Posted 5/2/2014 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
Awe I know how hard it is - we all feel this way. What keeps my spirits up is to know that we can beat this with the rt treatment and I believe attitude is key to healing. I had so many days when I cried bc of fear and anger but I stopped crying bc I didn't want to be upset anymore. I pulled myself together and just focus on caring for my family. How old is urs? I have three and I have to say I couldn't care for them properly bc I got so sick but I've improved tremendously since. I was bitten in oct and didn't realize it was a tickbite at the time. I started treatment in february. U sound like u caught it early llike me. That gives u a huge advantage! R u happy with ur dr? Where do u live? Hang in there and this is the best place to vent!
Posted 5/2/2014 2:25 PM (GMT 0)
I caught it early I guess but stupidly did ot do adequate treatment then so I progressed for 7 months.

Now I am 2 weeks into treatment. My worse symptom is massive tinnitus.

This is so awful. Why did I not do a stronger treatment earlier? And I am also so proactive about not going into tick places and about doing tick checks but one stupid time I was lax about it I got it. I hae a little child and a great husband and my whole family life is getting so disrupted because of this just because I am so constantly suffering. I hate this.

I guess I like my doctor. I mean he Seems to know what he is talking about but I don't know if anyone really knows how to cure lyme yet.

or even get it into remission all the way.

I feel like in 20 years they may figure out how to treat this but now it is still a guessing game.

I want to believe this is temporary and I will get better but a big part of me fears this is the rest of my life and it is so so so awful.

Posted 5/2/2014 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
This is not the rest of ur life - you need to get that out of ur head. I felt the same exact way but now three months after treatment I am ninety percent better. I got hit hard to the point that I couldn't lift my three yr old up couldn't shop couldn't go up the stairs without feeling faint. It does get better. And ur rt it is a guessing game but the puzzle pieces do eventually come together. U have to believe that!!! If u want to send a private email to me I'm here if u need to talk
Posted 5/2/2014 2:34 PM (GMT 0)
chapelle- thank you. Can you tell me your situation in terms of healing? Are you better than you were?

I am so scared this is the rest of my life and I hate it so much.

Posted 5/2/2014 2:39 PM (GMT 0)
Yes! I am ninety percent better. U need to realize that two weeks is barely any time. U just started. U need to give the meds a chance to work I am super surprised ur dr wants to add rifampin so soon. Lyme works in four week or so cycles so treatment is usually altered monthly if necessary. I will write about my healing process on a new thread and will give u heads up about it. I was still severly sick after only two weeks of treatment so just remember once the lyme is disemminated it takes time to clear it up!
Posted 5/2/2014 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
thanks. It is so hard to know how much to trust doctors. I do like my doc and feel he knows his stuff as much as anyone I have met so far----  He said I should add rifamplin on may 12 which would be about 3 and a 1/2 wks into treatment but only if I don't notice improvements yet. Thanks for the encouragement. I am glad to know there is hope. I just want my life back. I have a great husband and great child and I want to be a happy healthy mom and wife not a scared freaked out sick one :(

Post Edited (Katebirch) : 5/5/2014 6:25:23 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 5/2/2014 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
I totally felt the same way. You will get there!! U must live on the east coast. I am on long island. I actually remember writing an update about my progess already I will attach the link when I find it.
Posted 5/5/2014 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Katebirch you sound EXACTLY like me!  I am in the totally same place.  I am a mother of four with a wonderful husband and family and I just want to get back to the life I love so much and I'm so scared I will never get there.  Chapelle, thank you for trying to encourage us!!!  I almost feel like I have been traumatized by all this...I just can't seem to come to terms that this is all happening to me and I'm still in a state of shock (4 months after symptoms started and 2 months after starting treatment).  Katebirch I would be curious to know who Dr Horowitz's office recommended.  Would you mind emailing me that information? 
Posted 5/5/2014 1:07 AM (GMT 0)
Katebirch...the way I've been trying to deal with all this (not to successfully however) is praying, reading inspiring spiritual books, playing inspirational music (just started listening to contemporary christian music to try to guide my thoughts), going for walks, making myself go out (but only around people I can be real with if I need to talk or break down), shower, put on makeup, try to do normal things like clean the house, go to the kids baseball games and not be in my head the whole time, I'm seeing a therapist, one of my girlfriends calls me everyday and we talk for about an hour, eating food I enjoy, journaling. I need A LOT of support right now so these are the things I'm doing to cope. WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!!! xoxoxooxox
Posted 5/5/2014 3:07 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you are so scared and depressed. You have the odds in your favor for getting well, because you haven't been ill for too long. have faith and hang in there! Know there are people that have been sick for a VERY long time and have gotten well. You'll be ok, this will pass.
Posted 5/5/2014 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
There is this supplement called Serene that helps with evening out serotonin levels. I also took Holy Basil by New Chapter and it helped me emotionally. Hope you find help soon!
Posted 5/6/2014 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
I amactually feeling so much better already! NOt all the way by any means. But I seriously feel that some clouds have opened and I see some blue sky particularly with my mental state. I had lyme for the past seven months and I had the most intense depression and anxiety. I felt constantly scared and overwhelmed ( and exhausted). When I wrote the above post I was herxing, and just in the past two days or so I am starting to see and feel glimpses of wellness. I will feel better and then get into a rough patch again, up and down. But mentally I feel So much different with the anxiety and depression. It is so clear to me that is was due to the lyme. I felt So down and so scared all the time and now I don't so much.
Posted 5/6/2014 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
Had tried this supplement a while ago but then stopped. Just restarted using Protandim.
Protandim consists mainly of a blend of 5 herbal ingredients (amounts per caplet listed in parentheses):

Milk thistle (Silybum marianum) extract (225 mg)
Bacopa (Bacopa monniera) extract (150 mg)
Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) root (150 mg)
Green tea (Camellia sinensis) extract (75 mg)
Turmeric (Curcuma Ionga) extract (75 mg)

It def seems to have a calming effect and aids in sleeping.

Post Edited (BarnGurl) : 5/5/2014 6:35:51 PM (GMT-6)

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