maybe stopping abx today--

The combo of abx and herbals that I have been on for 6 months seem to have worked- at least for now. Most of my symptoms are gone.

My main problem now is my poor ears- they hurt so much. Inner ear pain.

I am thinking it is a side effect from 6 months of abx.

I am not someone who thinks abx are useless for lyme. I know some people say abx are the best, some say abx are bad and only herbals work. And some ppl use both. I feel okay with having used the combo of abx and herbals.

As I have said I do trust my dr and feel that I am in good hands. Still, with lyme it is scary and one doesn't know for sure.

My dr does one month treatment past feeling 85% better- one month with abx more than the patient has already done, then 3 or more months of herbals.

At my last appointment 2 weeks ago- I had been feeling pretty okay ( except for ear pain :( ) for a few weeks. So the doctor said if I wanted to do a full month more I can or if I want to just do a couple of weeks, that it was up to me to decide how I feel.

I see the dr again in 10 days so essentially I could stop today or go 10 more days.

I feel like whenever I stop the abx it will be scary for me to see if the symptoms return or not.

But today my ears just hurt so much- it is so sad. I always feel so sorry for myself when I am sick or in pain!  And my instinct is telling me it is a side effect from the abx. Since they wipe out all the flora or good bacteria ( yes I take lots of probiotics too), I feel like they are wiping out the flora and good bacteria in my ears.

It is 6 months to the day since I started treatment with this dr. Just before I started my protocol I did 10 days of doxy-  so I have been treating for 6 months and 10 days.

I had to take advil for my ears today and it is only helping a little. So I think I need to give my body a chance to get right from all the abx and  stop them. I hope it won't matter if I don't do the last 10 days that I could do.

And now I have to see if I stay healthy now that I am stopping the abx. I really hope so so much to be well again.

So here goes. Wish me well, please! Thanks. KB

I stopped them today and may continue. But because one of my biggest symptoms was anxiety, as I have anxiety about the lyme when I get off the antibiotcs, every time I feel anxiety I worry if it is lyme and need to get right back on the abx.

I am going to have to be kind of brave to face what comes.

I think about the horrible symptoms that lyme presents and think I am willing to keep putting the abx in my body if it will keep that away.

I worry aobut like a few das or a week from now it just all being back.

Or at any soon point.

On a practical level I think I shold stop so I can asses in 10 days with my doctor. But I am just saying that the whole anxiety of having symptoms return things plays up big time when I go off the abx. So then I start to get anxious tht the anxiety is the lyme itself. Even though I know it wouldn't present that soon and the infection is likely under control at this point.It is just the anxiety of having more anxiety that gets me right now.

So I did 2 days with no antibiotics. NOw I have to decide if I am going to do 5 days on again or just stay totally off. My biggest concern is symptoms returning, especially the anxiety. I have finally gotten to a place in life wher eI can function somewhat normally after the debilitating anxiety.

After 6  months of abx, the abx felt like the thing that is keeping the anxiety away so it ihas become like a habit! So my mind just doesn't know what will happen- will the symptoms stay away now that I am done or will they come back?

I really don't know if I will take another week of abx or just stay off them. I feel pretty vulnerable without them. I just don't know what to think mentally about it- to believe that the abx actually got rid of ( or put into full remission) the lyme.

Yesterday I had some periods of anxiety- but they subsided. I just don't know what is what! So I will let you guys know. I am going to see how the day evolves and either get back on the abx for another wk or just keep off them all together. Just not sure. I feel okay I guess- just nervous. This lyme experience has changed my life all the way. I have had other experiences where I was never quite the same and I hope very much that this isn't that way. I hope I can get back to ful physical and mental health. But it remains to be seen. I really want a good blood test result and my last test result was disheartening. Still, I guess I feel okay today- just so nervous aobut the anxiety returning that every bit of fear I feel makes me worry.

Also when I don't take the abx I wake up feeling clearer- less groggy. SO that is good. And less stomach aches, less exhausted organs feelings. The main thing is can I believe that the treatment worked and I can now continue to be symptom free.

That is the big question for me now. I am grateful to be here and not where I was 5 months ago-- back when I was so sick and symptomatic. But still this stage of healing is still scary for me because it is the big leap of faith- and will show me if it worked or not for the longer term.