I need re assurance or something like support because I am so scared.

Hi everyone, I don't mean to be a bother but I am scared and my anxiety has been sky high. For a couple months I was able to contain my symptoms, have not been taking any abx at all just magnesium and a multi vitamin and was not feeling too bad.

Then all of a sudden this week my symptoms come back hardcore. Mainly my symptoms are anxiety and not feeling grounded or feeling like something is terribly wrong with me like I'm going to die. And twitching as well other symptoms that keep me down and fatigue me.


The anxiety and depression and not feeling like I will be on this earth soon and not feeling grounded or like something is seriously wrong with me is crippling me.


I feel like if it is lyme at LEAST lyme is treatable and can be managed so I have 100mg doxycycline, and zith to treat so I will be okay for the time being at least. My health insurance runs out at the end of the year so that is getting me as well.



But then in the back of my head I wonder like what if I am dying? What if it's not just lyme and ebv and what if it's something more sinister? Or what if my bad luck is so bad that the lyme & co will kill me? I don't know how to handle it anymore.



I don't know how to get rid of the feeling that I am going to drop soon or something or like my life is over and I am just a zombie and I will be like this forever. I try to stay positive the past couple months but it's all catching up to me.


I don't know where to turn now, I broke down this morning thinking I don't know what is going to happen to me or my future, I am 26 and still have to make a living and I am having trouble with the crippling feeling of not being real and feeling like I am walking dead.


I don't feel grounded at all I feel depersonalized and derealized in a sense and I can't seem to shake it. I have been told by many that I am just have to going to live this way and make hardcore lifestyle changes along with it and I just can't cope with the feeling like I am going to die young with lyme or whatever this is no matter what I do, why does my anxiety feel so sure even though I am trying to stay positive.



Look I admit right now I am being a big baby, and I apologize for that, but I'm broke, my health insurance runs out at the end of the year, and I have no way to treat this aside from the amounts of doxy and zith that I do have along with a few supplements and vitamins I have around.


I had to quit college for a while and my job because I can't stay focused at all cause I am always getting horrible anxiety and death feelings that I cant shake at all, like doom feelings I guess as if I have a death sentence kind of like that.


I am sorry for the long post and I am sorry for my anger and negativity and acting childish in this post, I guess all I am asking for is some re assurance and support, it would be greatly appreciated cause I don't know what is gonna come of my life at this point, thanks everyone. :-/

Post Edited (Dolph ziggler fan) : 10/23/2014 12:21:24 AM (GMT-6)

Thank you Girlie, calmed me down a bit for tonight cause I was going crazy lol. Anyway my dosage of doxy is 100mg pills but I have a lot of em that don't expire for a while cause I just got them recently, I am not sure what the zith dosage is as I have not looked at them yet.


I was seeing a ID doctor, she is not an llmd but she has been able to help me out with the doxy and the zith because she has had lyme patients and knows a thing or two, and she is probably the only one in the state who can help me at the moment since I can't travel and there are no llmds in my state at all. She said I was negative on the co infections as well but I heard that testing is bad anyway.


My ID doc does not think I have Lyme and she says if I do I have been holding up well with it and she is going to treat me for a while anyway using doxy and zith which I will start in November but can only get doxy in 100mg pills for now because that is what she prescribes but she tells me take 4 a day if needed.


All that kind of makes me feel a bit better cause at least I will have abx for two months along with some vitamins and supplements that I have so I am okay with that for now if it is lyme.


My big worry is that I cant shake this out of world feeling with anxiety and like death is upon me. I can't stop feeling it or thinking about it and it is freaking me out. I don't feel grounded at all and feel like no one understands the doom and death feelings I am having. I keep thinking like what if it's not lyme or mono and its a cancer or terminal illness instead that's making me feel this way?


That scares the hell out of me and I don't know how to shake that, I know lyme can give you anxiety and make you feel not grounded but I don't think it can do it to the extent that it happens to
Me to where I don't even feel human anymore or normal, that's why I assume and think it is something worse and a death sentence for me, have no clue what to think anymore.

Post Edited (Dolph ziggler fan) : 10/23/2014 1:13:44 AM (GMT-6)

Hi Dolph,

I can completely relate with you...as when I first started getting sick I had horrible anxiety. One doctor asked my husband if I was coo-coo in the head? He said I was not acting right...I kept telling him that I was not crazy I was just scared! Needless to say he gave me some pills that did calm me down a bit but I understand how hard it is, especially if you have been for the most part a healthy person. Have you had some bad luck in your life? I know from experience if you have that you always expect the worse because that is what you are use to...but you have to change that way of thinking and give it to God...all that anxiety just makes your symptoms so much worse! I am wishing you all the best!

Hi Dolph,

You can tell from the responses here that you are not alone, and no one blames you or thinks you are acting inappropriate. You're among friends who can relate!

I felt the same way at your exact age and asked my doc over the years for an MRI, CT scan, EKG--ANYTHING that would help us figure out why I felt sure I had a brain tumor (daily headaches) or would have a heart attack any day (heart palpitations), I just knew something was terribly wrong with me.... Everything always came back normal but the feeling persisted that something was really wrong with me. I do want you to know that having those tests come back normal did ease my anxiety quite a lot--at least I knew I wasn't dying of the things I constantly worried about. Recently, my symptoms got worse and in the last 2 years I started to feel detached from the world and like I was "floating" above it sometimes, that I didn't really belong in it or really matter (even though I have great self-esteem and a strong family and close friends). My mind was really doing a number on me! 6 months ago I told my boyfriend factually, not emotionally, that I felt like I needed to be "tethered down" to the earth in order to stay here sometimes, to keep from floating away like a balloon. (It didn't help that I worked from home and most connection to other humans was just through the computer and video conferences.) Very kindly, he said he understood completely what I meant and that also helped me feel like I'm not crazy.

Here I am, 10 years later after starting all those health tests, and JUST got the Lyme diagnosis last week! It has been like a stage light illuminating all the health issues I've experienced all my life! I also just lost my health insurance: it expired on the very same day I got my positive Lyme diagnosis and rushed to pick up my first prescription for doxy. I'm actually counting this timing as a blessing after all the years of searching for an answer. You are right, though, it it is a very stressful situation to be in at times. What is helping me is consciously thinking positive thoughts everyday (even though it is hard), using this forum everyday to remind myself that there is lots of support and solid info for me here with new friends, and sending out prayers/positive energy while visualizing what I want/being healthy, and also thanking the universe in advance for providing for all my needs. I'm signing up for a new online meditation series that starts in a couple of weeks and is free (not sure if I'm allowed to post the name or link on here). All that being said, I'm glad for you that you have a diagnosis while you're young and that your body can still help you bounce back with treatment. You are lucky to have the 2-month supply of meds to get started and a doc who sounds somewhat informed on treatment. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to others when things are feeling really bad--you are helping yourself even if you feel like you're just venting. It's healthy to get the fear and concerns out there. I hope the advice from others on here is helpful and that your anxiety will ease. If you can't get a prescription for the anxiety right away, you might try meditation. Email me for the free resources, if you're interested. Hang in there and hope to see you keeping us updated on here!

I am in Georgia but if the only way to heal is to go to an llmd and shell out a lot of money, then I am screwed.

Nah sadly, I tried to convince them but they don't but the whole lyme thing they just trust the cdc and mainstream doctors, tried to convince a lot but no luck so yea. I will just deal with it and fend for what I can get, best I can do, screw ticks and lyme, ruined my darn life, so fed up.

Hi Dolph and welcome to this forum! There are so many wonderful and caring people here.

I'm sorry you don't have the support of your parents, I didn't have that either and it really hurt me.

You received excellent advice and I just want to add that if you can incorporate a detox regime (detox baths, dry skin brushing, foot baths, etc.) you would probably feel lots better!

When I first heard about detoxing from others I thought they were crazy! It made no sense to me. But the people that were detoxing were getting better and I wasn't. So I said to myself "what do I have to lose?"... so I started detoxing and that helped me in my healing journey.

In the sticky thread on top called "New to Lyme? Start Here!" there are instructions for detoxing.

I hope this helps a bit,
Denise

LLMD's are definitely not the only way to go! I've healed using only herbs, and I"m doing it again since I got reinfected.

Are you open to natural means to heal? There are a handful of different ways to go with natural protocols.

Yes Traveler I am open to using herbals, that sounds good to me, hopefully there are some cheap natural ways to heal a bit.

Post Edited (Dolph ziggler fan) : 10/23/2014 6:36:33 PM (GMT-6)

This is all bringing me down. It seems like the only way to beat this is to be rich and basically dedicate your whole life to it forever. I hear horrible depressing stories on it all the time, and it seems like there is no hope unless you are rich and lucky, I know I'm talking ignorant right now but I'm just going by what I see from it all.

Thank you all for your support and help, it means a lot to me. Maybe one day we will all get through this together and then the world will truly see what lyme is all about, wishful thinking I know but it can happen, anything can.

I second travelers comments. Start one herb at a time and work you way up. Something is better than nothing. Many many people heal from this. Stay positive we are all here to help

There's nothing to be ashamed about.. Going through the symptoms of lyme disease, the negative vibes towards us, and the herxing.. It probably ranks up in the top 15 disease as far as suffering goes.