still not sure what's up

so I have been too nervous to fully stop the abx yet- but I havehad a hard time doing them fully too!
I see my llmd in 3 days, and as I have said he said I could stop then or last week or so.
I know it is better to pulse at least 3 or 4 days in a row on, rather than an every other day type thing. But the last 2 weeks have been a bit spotty treatment for me. I have been telling myself to just power through the last few days- and probably will continue the treatment for the next few days, but then there are days ( just in thelast 2 weeks or so) where I skip days or only do one rather than 2 doss. On the days where I don't do the abx I feel better than the days I do just in terms of being clearer.
I am feeling much better.

I just have so much unsureness about what will happen when I fully stop. I feel like each lyme patient has a chance of getting better or a chance of relapsing and I am just so nervous about it- I want to stay as far away from it as I possibly can. of course.

So I will ask my llmd next week about my concerns, and how to tell if it is coming back or just fear of it.

In some ways I feel like well I have been treating for over 6 months, at this point it is either treated or not.
But I worry about what happens if symptoms did return- would I just get back on the same protocol for a few more months or would I have ot ad something stronger?

Does how I feel now- just at the end of antibioticsand mostly symptom free- does that reflect on how I will feel after the antibiotics? How can I go forward into the next abx free stage in a good way, feeling like I will stay symptom free?
If I start eating gluten again will it trigger it?
If I stay genrally healthy and balanced will that keep it away?

I am so nervous aobut it all= I just want to be well and stay well but how do Iknow what will actually happen?
My biggest concern is- what happens if I did get more symptoms after I stop, will this whole treatment have been for nothing?
I mean not for nothing as I feel much better than before. But how much of a chance do I have, after 6 months treatment from an llmd with three antibiotics and also herbals, how much of a chance do I have that this will stay away?

I have all these stories in my mind of people who thought they were better but then relapsed- and I don't know if lyme is just incureable, or if people just had it a ong time first and then had inadequate treatment?

I had it 7 months before treating, and then treated 6 months. I will continue on herbals but I am not sure how strong they actually are. What should I expect? I am so nervous about it.

I certainly don't have the answers, but I say go for it!! Be confident and positive that it won't come back - try to preoccupy your mind with anything and everything else (as long as its not stressful:))! If you are symptom free and have been for awhile, AND it only took you 6 months, AND you're going to continue with herbs - things are looking good for you, dear!! :)
I still have some lingering sx, but I'm feeling very stable - I believe what is remaining for me is Bart and I haven't been treated for Bart yet. I stopped abx day before yesterday. I'm still using herbs, and treating yeast right now (with AZO yeast, coconut oil, oregano/thieves EOs, and garlic (my breath is terrible right wow)). I'm going to try to give an all herbal treatment a shot for the next 5 weeks, but I see a new doctor at the beginning of Dec. so will likely reevaluate then, and potentially go back on abx for a few more months if that's what the new LLND feels is necessary.
Best of luck to you! I don't believe you'll relapse.

Keep us posted.